“…I knew you had decided to name him Sieghardt…”

I was in an upright position on the bed and looked to the side, and there was a small bed for a baby, in which the child I had just given birth to was sleeping.

We decided on the name Sieghardt.

After discussing it with my husband, Clement.

There were many other suggestions, but we decided on this one as the discussion went on.

As for me, I couldn’t decide whether it was better to use the same name as the previous life or a different one, and from my husband’s point of view, I think I looked quite indecisive.

But Clement was calm and gentle, he didn’t get angry with me and we discussed it slowly.

He is a very nice man.

When I think about it, I think I passed away without ever remembering this before.

My relationship with him… to be honest, it wasn’t very good.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love him… but I didn’t feel like I was in a heart-to-heart bond with him.

It goes without saying that most of the reasons for this were my own fault, which I honestly understand now that I have talked to Clement about the child.

I feel like he was trying to talk to me about it the last time. too.

I guess I had always rejected that, that is until the day I died….

This time, I must make sure that doesn’t happen again.

It was an event that made me think deeply about that.

“… ma’am? Yes?”

To my soliloquy, the maid, who was standing beside the baby… Sieghardt, calls out to me.

She has brown hair and flaxen eyes, and her name is Amalia.

She’s been with me for a long time.

How long ago was that, since I was a child, and it would be easier to say that we grew up as childhood friends.

When we were little we used to talk to each other without worrying about the language we used, but that is rarely the case now.

Of course, this is because she has extremely firm ideas about her work, but it is also because my personality has become more crooked than before.

I can tell because the face she turns towards me is more than a little hard.

“…No. I was suddenly surprised that I was able to perform the great task of giving birth to a child… Is there anything unusual about that child… Sieg? Is there anything strange…?”

I ask, deceptively, but with a little bit of real intention.

Amalia then smiles a little and says.

“There’s nothing strange about it, ma’am. Rather… no.”

I nod my head and say, “Don’t stop in the middle of something, what’s wrong?”

“…Would you scold me if I told you?”

“Depends on what it is, but if it’s not too crazy, I won’t get angry. So?”

Somehow, the way Amalia said it reminded me of the way I used to feel when I was a child, and I said it with a bit of surprise.

I wondered if she would take it in a bad way, but Amalia’s expression softened a little compared to earlier, and she said

“That’s it, ma’am. That.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“We used to have these conversations in the old days… in the land of Estra.”

Estra, that’s the land where I was born.

The eldest daughter of the Count of Estra, that’s where I come from.

Amalia grew up there with me as a maid, from when she was a little girl.

So my memories of her and I are in the land of Estra.

As I recall, I nod.

“Yes, well… it’s been years since we’ve had this kind of conversation. I miss it.”

In my sense, it has been more than thirty years.

Because I have the memory of marrying into this house and spending more than thirty years down that road.

The last time I was here, I don’t remember having this kind of conversation with Amalia from the time I left home until I died, so…

“Right? After all, you were somewhat tense, weren’t you? That seems to have slipped away after you gave birth to your child… I might get fired for saying it like this, but Elaine, I’m glad to see that you’re back to your old self.”

The honorific has slipped out… not necessarily, I suppose.

It was deliberately left out.

We used to talk like this.

Of course, in public we would keep each other’s positions in mind, but when we were alone or out of sight, we spent our time like normal friends.

Now, that friend has come back to me.

I feel like that, and my eyes get a little hot.

” Ah yes… you are right. I’m glad too. I never thought I’d be able to talk to you like this again.”

“Oh, Elaine… why are you crying? Stop it. I’ll be scolded if another maid comes in like that.”

When Amalia says this in a panic, I say.

“It’s okay. I’ll come up with some excuse then.”

“You’ve always been good at that sort of thing, haven’t you… even though you look like a young lady with a deep-veined reputation.”

“Hmm.”

For a while after that, Amalia and I spent time talking happily as we used to.

Of course, I also took care of Sieghart during that time.

It is normal for aristocratic families to have a nanny to provide milk, but I asked my husband, Clement, if I could raise Sieghart on my own, basically by myself.

At first, Clément refused in a roundabout way, saying it would be a burden on me, but when he saw that I was firm in my intention, he finally allowed me to do so.

Clément is… sweet, to me, yes.

Come to think of it, he was the same before.

That’s also why I was able to do such a daring thing.

Of course, I don’t mean to shift the blame on my husband, I take full responsibility.

However, it occurred to me that I must remember that my husband is always willing to do whatever I ask him to do.

Otherwise, I might make the same mistake again.

Anyway, I would be allowed to at least want to raise my children with my own hands as much as possible.

Of course, there will be times when it will be difficult for me to do so.

For example, if I myself were to fall ill, or if my milk supply were to deteriorate.

However, I have made various suggestions to my husband with such situations in mind, and he has accepted them, so I should be fine.

First of all, I will raise my children well.

And then…

While talking with Amalia about various things, I thought about the future.

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