Chapter 23 – “I’ll pay it back myself, I don’t need you to pay it back.”

hoenimochi12-15 minutes 21.01.2022

Lu Yong was scared after thinking about it. The moment Shen Wenqiu jumped off the bridge, he was so frightened that his heart suddenly stopped.

He didn’t jump down from the bridge. Instead, he rushed to the bank, took off his coat, took off his prosthetic limbs, and then dived into the water to save him. He knew how to swim, but he wasn’t good at swimming. He didn’t know where his strength was at that time, but he finally won. Shen Wenqiu refused to let him save him no matter what. For a while, he thought they were going to drown in the river together.

Fortunately, Shen Wenqiu was exhausted and wasn’t able to break free from Lu Yong, so Lu Yong forcibly pulled him up from the water.

Lu Yong knew that he was too selfish, forcing Shen Wenqiu to live.

Keeping someone alive couldn’t be done by just light-heartedly saying, “Don’t die.” Life was not just a single moment — it was consisted of countless moments mattered in life. Live first, and after surviving, then what? How to live? Did the pain that put people to death in the past no longer exist?

Lu Yong thought a lot during this time period.

Shen Wenqiu disguised it so well that he even thought that Shen Wenqiu began to gradually adapt to the new life after caring for him meticulously. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

On the way from City H, Lu Yong thought deeply. When he accompanied Shen Wenqiu to sweep the tomb, he suddenly figured it out. When he was young, he was puzzled due to an incident. A person he knew committed suicide, but they obviously knew another person whose life was even harder.

His dad said, “Whether people want to live or not has nothing to do with whether their life is full of hardship or not. It depends on whether they have a future ahead.”

Lu Yong prayed to Shen Wenqiu’s father while worshipping.

First he made a wish that Shen Wenqiu could pull himself together, that he could find a goal to live for; he found it too difficult, so he made a wish again, and he hoped that Shen Wenqiu’s life would get better. In the end he thought, No, as long as it doesn’t continue to be bad, I hope he can be less sad and occasionally feel happy.

Lu Yong had already put his house on the market last week. He was also looking for a buyer for his car, and he was trying to sell it at a good price. By withdrawing more funds, he could offset some of the debt.

He said these words in a low voice, surrounded by noise. The people in the surroundings couldn’t understand it, as if they were separated by a world that only existed with each other at this moment. Lu Yong gazed at Shen Wenqiu with great sincerity and expectation. He thought that when Shen Wenqiu said “Yes,” they established a living connection.

Essentially, they were strangers with no blood ties; they were neither friends nor lovers.

The moment Shen Wenqiu turned around and left, they had nothing to do with each other. It was he who wanted to have a relationship with Shen Wenqiu.

Last night, when Lu Yong couldn’t find Shen Wenqiu, he offered a reward of 50,000 yuan to the brothers in the industry. He sent a photo of Shen Wenqiu, telling them to please pay attention to passers-by and finally learned of Shen Wenqiu’s whereabouts. And then he hurried over at this critical moment.

When did Shen Wenqiu no longer want to live? He must have considered it for a long time before deciding.

Why am I so stupid that I never noticed it after all along? He was too slow and careless.

He was not afraid of the weight.

He was willing to carry Shen Wenqiu on his back and move forward.

Shen Wenqiu didn’t speak. It was like his chest was hollowed out and became an empty shell. His eyes were empty, and only the subtle light of the stars like burning ashes flashed.

Shen Wenqiu opened his mouth. When he was just about to speak—

“Who called the police?”

“Where is the person who committed suicide? Have they been rescued?”

“Comrade police officer, here!”

Shen Wenqiu raised his head, the crowd moved aside automatically, and the police came.

Shen Wenqiu stood up unsteadily. Lu Yong got up first because he got up too fast, his sight was still slightly murky, but he said to Shen Wenqiu, “Don’t rush, get up slowly.”

Lu Yong first stood firmly on his own, then he went to help him and said, “Hold on to me.”

Shen Wenqiu didn’t look at him. He looked at the police and didn’t answer. It was just that the hand that Lu Yong stretched over was gently knocked back by him. Lu Yong took the initiative to help again, but Shen Wenqiu pushed him away and dodged by taking a half step back. He wanted to stand on his own and not rely on anyone.

Lu Yong: “…” He had no confidence in Shen Wenqiu’s reply now.

He thought that if anyone in the world was willing to help pay off such a huge debt, he would 100% not be refused, but that wasn’t the case with Shen Wenqiu.

Shen Wenqiu was extremely weak, but he was different when he was dragged ashore. At least he pretended to be less sad. He gently said to the police,

“Comrade police officer, I’m sorry, it’s me, I fell into the river…”

“I didn’t mean to… No, no, it wasn’t suicide. I didn’t commit suicide. It was just an accident.”

“Otherwise, how can I talk to you nicely? You don’t think I look like a person who wants to kill himself, do you?”

“I’m sorry, gosh, it was my carelessness that made you waste your police force.”

Shen Wenqiu added, “It was my friend who knows how to swim and happened to be there and saved me. Can you give him a Citizen’s Award for Bravery for this case?”

Lu Yong’s mood was being swayed around by him. He turned his head and looked at Shen Wenqiu. Shen Wenqiu’s eyes were icy cold, but the corners of his mouth were smiling. He didn’t even need to make a draft when he told a lie. If he didn’t know that Shen Wenqiu refused to go ashore no matter what when he was in the water, he would believe that Shen Wenqiu had just fallen down accidentally.

Carelessness? Can you carelessly jump off the 1.5-meter high railing?

The police only advised suiciders who had a mental breakdown and wanted to die. They had never seen suiciders like Shen Wenqiu who utterly refuted the rumors that he didn’t commit suicide. The person involved said that he was okay himself, and he even had to ask for a medal for his friend. What could they say? It didn’t seem like a suicide attempt.

However, it was not good to make a trip for nothing and he said, “Then hurry up and go to the hospital, we’ll take you there.”

Shen Wenqiu still politely refused. He smiled and said weakly, “It’s okay, thank you. I’m not going, I’m really fine, you see I’m fine now. If I need to go, I will go.”

Shen Wenqiu said, bowing to the police, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I caused you trouble.”

He himself said so. How could they insist?

“Look, I can walk by myself…” After speaking, Shen Wenqiu looked around, found the direction, and walked up the steps of the river embankment.

Lu Yong silently followed behind him.

The police watched them leave silently, lowered their voice, blocked with a notepad, and said softly,

“Why do I feel it’s a quarrel between a same-sex couple?”

“I also think so, but it’s people’s private affairs… Let them deal with it themselves as long as no life is lost.”

Only when Shen Wenqiu climbed the steps did he find that his legs had no strength. He didn’t know whether it was because he ran before or because he was soaked in the river water. There was a twitching pain from the root tendons. As long as a force was applied, the pain would be difficult to bear.

But he still gritted his teeth and walked up on his own, wanting to leave the trouble area quickly. He didn’t want to go to the police station again.

The noisy voices faded, exhaustion and hunger poured out.

Shen Wenqiu raised his head and looked up ahead. The dazzling sunlight made him squint his eyes, and the scenery in front of him began to shake and overlap, and the shadows were blurred. He thought, It is only a few steps away.

One, two…… three…… four……

Obviously he was stepping on solid ground, but he had the illusion of stepping on air. His vision that was originally blurry was completely black, and he fell down.

Someone hugged him, and Shen Wenqiu knew that it was Lu Yong. He was really powerless to refuse now.

The surrounding voices faded like a tide, “He fainted!”

“I told you so.”

“Eh! The ambulance just came! I called it!”

Before fainting completely, Shen Wenqiu thought that he was so heavy. How painful would the prosthetic limb be pulled if Lu Yong carried him? Don’t carry me anymore.

Hospital.

Single room ward.

Lu Yong bought iodine, cotton swabs, and alcohol cotton pads downstairs to sterilise the broken arm and prosthetic limbs. He took a hasty bath in Shen Wenqiu’s bathroom, went back to the bed, and sat down. He then called the people in the company and said that because of private affairs at home, he would not be able to go back tomorrow. For the time being, it couldn’t be accurately said how many days would be delayed.

Shen Wenqiu was still asleep and hadn’t woken up yet. He only had a simple examination, and the doctor said that his body was filled with problems.

After Lu Yong underwent the examination, he had to wait for the examination results to come out. He also hadn’t closed his eyes for a long time, so he was really sleepy. He pulled out the small bed in the companion room and lay on it. He was too tall and couldn’t straighten his feet, so he could barely endure it. He thought of only taking a short nap.

Then, when Lu Yong woke up again, the lights in the hospital corridor were already dark, and there was no sound at all.

He spent two seconds coming back to his senses, and looked at the hospital bed subconsciously. The blankets were unfolded — no one was there.

Lu Yong woke up in shock instantly.

Did he run away again? ? ! !

Lu Yong jumped up from the small bed like a spring, standing in front of the bed at a loss.

“Splash.”

“Click.”

The door of the bathroom opened, Shen Wenqiu walked out, closed the door, and the light shone out behind him. His front was still in the shadows. As soon as he opened the door, he was met with the frustrated and panic-stricken Lu Yong and said without any energy, “You are awake, huh? It’s almost twelve o’clock.”

Shen Wenqiu went back to the hospital bed as if nothing had happened and wrapped himself in the blanket.

Lu Yong looked at him, hesitant to speak.

Shen Wenqiu lay on his side, turned his back to him, closed his eyes, and said, “Go to sleep. I’m tired and sleepy. Aren’t you sleepy? You haven’t slept for long these past few days.”

“It’s so late, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

Lu Yong said “En”, pulled a chair by his bed, and sat down.

After more than ten minutes, Shen Wenqiu, who had been motionless, turned over towards him and said angrily, “How can I sleep when you keep staring at me? I won’t run while you are sleeping, I plan to have a good talk with you. Quickly go and sleep.”

Lu Yong was driven back to sleep in a small bed by him.

Of course he didn’t sleep well.

At seven o’clock in the morning, the nurse came to tell patient Shen Wenqiu to take his medication and hang an IV.

Lu Yong woke up followingly and asked, “What do you want for breakfast? I’ll go buy it.”

Shen Wenqiu thought for a while and said with a lack of interest, “I have no appetite. Let’s have a small portion of little dumplings in chicken soup. Buy a notebook and a pen on the way. Thank you.”

Before leaving, Lu Yong passed by the nurse’s desk, hesitated again and again, turned back, and said nervously, “Please watch the patient in ward 917. He may take the opportunity to escape.”

The nurse looked speechless, “Oh, I see.”

Lu Yong quickly brought back his breakfast. Shen Wenqiu asked for the notebook and pen, even though he didn’t know what Shen Wenqiu was going to use.

Shen Wenqiu set up the small table on the hospital bed, finished his breakfast, opened the notebook, and began writing without saying a word as “swishes” could be heard, and the writing was smooth.

Lu Yong saw that he was writing names and numbers. He vaguely guessed  and asked, “What are you writing?”

Shen Wenqiu didn’t raise his head, frowned tightly, and remembered hard while taking notes. He said as he cherished his words like they were gold, “Debt.”

Before Lu Yong could speak, he said, “I’ll pay it back myself, I don’t need you to pay it back.”

Lu Yong asked, “How do you pay it back?”

Shen Wenqiu’s pen paused, and his voice was soft and stubborn, “Don’t pay it back for me. If you’re willing to help me, take me in. Just take me in forever.”

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