The Matchmaker Tool Is Uncooperative

Even after Jiang Jingtong and Shi Yuanbai held their grand wedding, it seemed like they were still procrastinating in getting a certificate and legally acknowledging their marriage. 

This was the most worrying part for Wu Siyuan. 

‘Shi Yuanbai is about to fly away, why don’t you as a Scum Gong feel the slightest bit anxious?! He is the venerated King of the Sea[1], which part of his can make you feel at ease when he’s let loose?!’

Feeling that the push from him, the number one Braindead CP fan was not strong enough, he quickly turned his brain and contacted Xiaoyou for support.

“Why didn’t Jiang Jingtong get his marriage certificate yet?”

“…” There was a short pause on the other side of the phone before Xiaoyou answered. “Actually, he didn’t come to me these past few days either. Previously he said that I should take care of the house myself for the time being.”

“…” Wu Siyuan sucked a mouthful of breath. “Then, you’re out of the question.”

Even if Xiaoyou had rarely gained his tranquil life without Jiang Jingtong, that didn’t mean he was out of his news. “I know where Jiang Jingtong has gone recently, however.”

***

In order to securely lock the two Scumbags with the bond of marriage, Wu Siyuan had to once again implement the theories and strategies he learned from the Love Book he had been studying during the past year.

There was another person who was as anxious as Wu Siyuan in reality, that is, no other than Shi Yuanbai himself. Acquiring a marriage certificate was something Shi Yuanbai most needed right now. All that was left was urging Jiang Jingtong to get it.

Truth be told, there was barely any change in Shi Yuanbai’s daily life before or after the wedding. The only difference was he had to live cohabitating with someone else. Unfortunately, both Jiang Jingtong and Shi Yuanbai were not people who could adapt to such situations. Both of them after all had a lot of things they didn’t want others to know.

After the wedding banquet held with the Shi Family, the condition of the Jiang Family had turned for the better. Jiang Jingtong turned the tide and successfully recovered a lot of losses. When the peace returned, as a result, Jiang Jingtong’s scumbag nature struck once again. Recently, he had paid a lot of attention to his new lover, the newly recruited secretary in his Company.

Wu Siyuan knew this new lover since the person was also mentioned in the original plot. She was indeed a HOT woman, one of Jiang Jingtong’s lovers.

In this case, Jiang Jingtong often used the excuse of working overtime as the reason for not going back to the home he shared with Shi Yuanbai. As for the newly wedded husband, of course, wouldn’t care much about it, because Shi Yuanbai himself rarely stayed at the said home. Jiang Jingtong was not aware of this fact, nonetheless.

Taking a closer look at JiangShi’s relationship dynamic these days, then it could be summed up with;

Whenever Jiang Jingtong called Shi Yuanbai and said he couldn’t come home, Shi Yuanbai immediately went straight out to God only knew where. Nobody was feeling sad, no party was being wronged, certainly, both of them had a balanced Green Color on top of their heads[2].

That being the case, a week had passed since their marriage reception, yet Jiang Jingtong had been delaying getting their certificate. Now he seemed like he wanted to delay it even longer.

After getting the ins and outs of JiangShi’s current state, Wu Siyuan wasted no time and quickly disclosed the information to Shi Yuze. Naturally, his intention was not just about sharing gossip with the Big Brother.

Shi Yuze didn’t bother to talk or discuss with Shi Yuanbai about this matter, his next action was even more direct instead. He refused to sign the contract of Shi and Jiang’s recent joint project. The reason he gave was that Jiang Jingtong and Shi Yuanbai hadn’t officially obtained their marriage certificate, thus the Shi and Jiang family hadn’t officially joined hands either.

Originally, Jiang Jingtong thought since they were married already, the matter of getting a legal certificate could be talked about on another day.

He always felt that the relationship between him and Shi Yuanbai hadn’t reached the point where they must be legally married. He even felt annoyed when Shi Yuanbai urged him to get their certificate lately.

But now, due to Shi Yuze’s unexpected intervention, Jiang Jingtong was left with no choice but to quickly get their marriage certificate. The cooperation between the Shi family and the Jiang family was important. It was not exaggerated to say that Shi Yuze was holding the life and death of their branch Company.

The other party in question, Shi Yuanbai, had also shown his eagerness to get the certificate. As it was, there really was no reason for Jiang Jingtong to refuse. Even if he felt somehow reluctant deep inside, he obediently completed the demand.

Therefore, not long after, two people were both letting out a sigh of relief once they received the marriage certificate from the Civil Affairs Bureau.

Shi Yuanbai was plastering a smile on his face. They took a picture and posted it on their social media.

Have to choose a good and auspicious day to complete the most important thing 

When Wu Siyuan finally saw the announcement of their marriage completion, he quickly pressed the like button and gave a long and sincere comment along the way. The rainbow farts[3]he spouted were more than 100 words. At first glance, it seemed like the sender had given it a lot of thought. While in reality, even the other one or two sentences-congratulation were in fact, much more sincere than Wu Siyuan’s.

Meanwhile, as expected of a pair of Scumbag Husbands, the first thing Jiang Jingtong and Shi Yuanbai thought when looking at Gu Siyuan’s congratulation message was,

‘If only I can make this Gu Siyuan my own Lover/Fish, it will be even better to hear his praise right now.’

***

Looking at the striking red books posted by the Protagonists was like hearing the horn of victory for Wu Siyuan.

At last, the Protagonist Gong and Shou were officially married and would soon enjoy the fruits of marriage faster than they originally did in the plot. As for whether they entered the sacred land of matrimony happily or not, who cared? Their bliss and woe from now on had nothing to do with Wu Siyuan.

If anything, what Wu Siyuan had arranged, could be considered a good thing for them. Since they were going to marry anyway, why didn’t they do it earlier? There were benefits of getting married early. After all, for those who came from wealthy families, the longer their marriage time the more their common property would accumulate.

In the future, if they wanted to get a divorce, the wealth they accumulated would be split up between the two. Look, wasn’t it all for their own good? As for who was the one who lost more properties in the process, it’s not something Wu Siyuan should consider about.

To celebrate his victory, Wu Siyuan opened a bottle of red wine and leisurely lay on the sofa at his home, while being incredibly content. ‘I must have gotten full marks for this task!’

After all, he had successfully cut off a lot of detours, preventing Shi Yuanbai from going abroad, and had to fall into the scenario of chasing the wife to the crematorium[4] as a result. This time, Wu Siyuan had even shortened the time for them to reach the peak of their romance, namely; Marriage! Not to mention, how Shi Yuanbai, unlike in the original plot, got to become Jiang Jingtong’s first-ever Husband, not the type of Second Marriage due to Jiang Jingtong seeking for substitute lover in the plot.

‘Hhaaa…no matter where you look at it, I must have fabulously completed the task!’

***

The completion of marriage between JiangShi had fulfilled the wish of some, if not many parties.

Those who joined hands to weave the plot behind the scene were also immensely satisfied, such as Chen Xuyao and Shi Yuze. Now that the first stage of Play had been flawlessly completed, then the next stage should be started.

Shi Yuze first sent a message to Wu Siyuan,

[Thank you for the information and cooperation. They shall not feel happy days in their marriage.]

Crossing his leg in an Erlang pose[5], Wu Siyuan told Shi Yuze about Shi Yuanbai’s next plan.

[Is that so? But your dear brother is going abroad to meet up with his good friend.]

Obviously, Shi Yuze had noticed it as well. He answered Wu Siyuan’s reminder calmly.

[It doesn’t matter. Whoever he goes seeking refuge to, it won’t matter much.]

Wu Siyuan didn’t expect this response to come from Shi Yuze. Although he was really curious about where Shi Yuze’s confidence was coming from, to maintain his mysterious and aloof pretense, he decided to hold back any questions.

[Then, it’s up to you to figure out the rest.]

Wu Siyuan decided not to care about their family affairs. He had already completed his own Task anyway.

After successfully putting down the burden on his shoulder, Wu Siyuan felt he couldn’t be freer these days.

The Summer vacation was also coming. However, instead of going out to relax, he threw himself into his father’s company and started an early internship.

For the employees of the company, this was the Prince, the legendary Young Master of their Boss’ family! At first, everyone was afraid this Gu Siyuan would randomly give thoughtless commands. But after a few days, they found out the Young Master was unpretentious, he was seriously there to learn and practice.

In the end, the other employees taught and regarded him just like any other trainee would.

***

Wu Siyuan really had been soaked in bliss lately.

During his internship in his Father’s Company, he gained a lot of new experiences and knowledge. The more he knew about the business field, the more his own newly found Company raked their revenue. His smile had never stopped forming on his face.

Unfortunately, there would always be people who like to spoil others’ happiness, as if they would feel unhappy if others were living peacefully. It was none other than Jiang Jingtong. He suddenly called Wu Siyuan and in the first greeting, he spoke anxiously with a somewhat angry tone,

“Gu Xuedi, did you know beforehand that Shi Yuanbai dared to abandon me for studying abroad?!”

Of course, Wu Siyuan knew Shi Yuanbai would, from the very first time he came into this world. Hearing Jiang Jingtong’s voice, however, Wu Siyuan quickly started to act in a blink of an eye,

“Huh? Shi Xuege is actually so amazing? As expected, he is so talented, he even wants to study abroad and improve himself further!”

Jiang Jingtong impatiently replied, “Is this the point? As a married man, how could he ignore his own family? We have obviously married. He should have stayed at home honestly, rather than thinking about pointless matters all day long. I think, he really doesn’t put me in his heart at all!”

Wu Siyuan blatantly rolled his eyes upon Jiang Jingtong’s response.

“Stay at home? But Shi Xuege should also have his own career, right?”

Jiang Jingtong immediately retorted, “He’s already married to me, what else should he need to show up in public for?”

Now Wu Siyuan finally knew why the original body had no career at all in the plot. It must be Jiang Jingtong who instilled such an outdated idea in him!

“What era is this? How could there still be such a thing about considering married people’s public appearance?”

Jiang Jingtong was at a loss for words, unable to give any further argument.

Wu Siyuan continued to bombard him, “More importantly, Xuege, you two are married, you both are having the same interest and benefits. Possibly, Shi Xuege is doing this for you, so that he can work hard along with you in the future. That’s why he needs to go abroad and gain more experiences.”

Hearing Wu Siyuan’s grandiloquences, Jiang Jingtong’s tone finally softened. “But I don’t want him to tire himself. You know, I just want to take good care of him, and I want him to live comfortably.”

By all means, it encouraged Wu Siyuan to spout more nonsense instead. “This means, the same is true for Shi Xuege. He also doesn’t want you to work so hard. Previously, Shi Xuege told me that you often work overtime in the Company and couldn’t go home. He feels distressed and worried about your busy schedule.”

When Jiang Jingtong recalled the true reason for those so-called overtimes, he felt guilty all over.

“Well…maybe. I really didn’t expect Yuanbai to be burdened about it. I will definitely reduce working overtime in the future.”

Wu Siyuan heard Jiang Jingtong’s trademark hypocritical answer and almost couldn’t help laughing out loud.

“That’s it. Then, you should also be considerate of Shi Xuege‘s feelings. What he does is all for your own good as well. He goes abroad for your better future, so you should support him, instead of being a husband who keeps preventing his dream and blocking his achievements.”

Inwardly, Wu Siyuan added,

‘That’s right! How can you stop the Sea King’s dream and aspiration? You damn Scumbag Gong, you shall never stop your Shou from swimming across the stars and sea!’

Let Shi Yuanbai go abroad! That way, you Scumbag Gong, could happily hug your lover without worry. Hugging one man on the left and embracing one woman on the right side.

‘Oh shit!’ Wu Siyuan accidentally imagined an indescribable scene in his mind.

Bah, forget that dirty mind. As a good Protagonist Gong, Jiang Jingtong should not be entering the scene he imagined just now…would he?

Anyway, after Shi Yuanbai went abroad, he could finally reign supreme in the Sea of foreign Fishes. In conclusion, the Sea King Shou would be content, and the Scumbag Gong would be at ease. Wasn’t this a double happiness?

A few years later, just like in the plot, after they hadn’t seen each other for many years, their love should have grown deeper and more solid!

In other words, Shi Yuanbai would come back followed by the Fishes[6]he caught from the foreign Sea, while Jiang Jingtong would also have been soaked well in his Peach Blossoms honey[7]pot. The two would then continue to be a sweet and enviable couple in the century.

Sure enough! Shi Yuanbai going abroad was all for their own future! There really was nothing wrong with it!

Look, what he said to Jiang Jingtong earlier was not a lie, right? The more he thought about it, the more he analyzed it, the more he believed what he spouted at Jiang Jingtong was not nonsense but a sincere blessing.

Now, back to their phone call. Jiang Jiangtong finally responded,

“When you say it, I can’t help but think, maybe this is for the best, maybe we really need a little distance for now. But, alas…the situation of our family currently can’t accommodate for us to be that far apart.”

Wu Siyuan quickly reassured him, “Shi Xuege is a resourceful man. When he goes abroad, he must be able to find help and solve a lot of things after.”

Why, even after his task had been completed, he still had to blow rainbow farts for Shi Yuanbai!

Wu Siyuan took a breath, before continuing, “If Shi Xuege goes abroad and builds a new foreign company there, it will be even more awesome!”

This was not something Wu Siyuan said out of nonsense, or a scenario he saw in the original plot. Not long ago, it was Shi Yuanbai himself who revealed it to him. As for why he told Wu Siyuan? No other than he wished this brainless CP fan would support the CP Master with money!

Then again, who was Wu Siyuan? But of course, he pretended he didn’t understand and was unable to catch the implication behind Shi Yuanbai’s words.

Want to swindle his money? Then just wait until the next life!

With Wu Siyuan here, there would always be a string of Rainbow Farts, but don’t ever expect any string of money!

 

A wandering soul who lacks sleep.

References

References↑1I shall keep reminding, this is slang for Player↑2both of them cuckold each other↑3empty praises and boasts↑4Originated from the Chinese net-jokes, “Tsundere can be happy for a while, in the future chasing the wife would reach even to the crematorium”, referring to SYB’s situation of Refusing/Hanging/Ignoring JJT, but had to chase him relentlessly even as a second marriage in the original plot when JJT ended up marrying someone else↑5Putting one leg on top of the other↑6SYB’s spare tires↑7JJT’s fruits of romantic deeds