You Have Everything I Dislike

When I was in high school, I had a feeling the Third Master liked me. At that time, I didn’t know what to do. Only the saying, “Rabbits can’t eat the grass in the nest,” was what stuck to my mind. 

If I really got together with the third master and we somehow broke up, I would lose both a boyfriend and a good friend at the same time. This made me sensibly break the idea of being with the third master. When the third master wrote me a prose poem, similar to fog, rain, and wind, he was righteous enough to point out the typos and poorly-written lines.

During that time, I, the third master, and together with another friend often wrote novels on the stream of consciousness in a big book, so I pretended to not understand his “love letter”. He also didn’t force me to acknowledge it either. Gradually, the confession storm waned, and we continued being good friends.

Later, whenever I began to consider the idea of “I can’t be with the third master,” I was actually contemplating “If I were with the third master” subconsciously instead.

But I still chose to remain good friends with the third master and was very satisfied with it. Friends were more comfortable to be around than lovers; there would be no negative feelings like worry, sadness, anger, etcetera involved.

For example, my liking for this tablemate of mine was a combination of these negative energies.

This tablemate and friend, who sat behind me, was a particularly nice and funny person. He often brought delicious food and liked to spend time together with me. After eating people with short mouths1T/N: “Eat people with short mouths” – It may be a positive feedback phenomenon that benefits from a mutually beneficial relationship, I eventually fell in love with this tablemate.

I did not say anything to the third master, but my friends found out. I think even the third master took notice of this as well.

What was more tragic was that my tablemate didn’t even like me in the first place. He kept desperately refusing to like me while also continuing to bring me delicious food. I had never seen such a contradictory person before… 

Does he not know of the saying, “If you don’t want to fill a girl’s heart, don’t fill her mouth all the time”? Is that not a given fact?

Anyway, my tablemate and I’s story did not have a fairytale ending. When we saw each other again after a few years had passed, it did not feel awkward in the slightest. After all, time was the most effective and cruel eraser, and it could wipe off anything.

At a school reunion, as I was leaving first with the third master, I happened to run into my tablemate, who arrived quite late. He became more good-looking after training in the military academy for several years. His current temperament made people want to lift his clothes and count the number of abs he had. 

After a brief exchange of pleasantries, I went downstairs, hand-in-hand with the third master. 

Suddenly, I wondered if he would eat the vinegar of my tablemate, so I said to him seriously, “XXX (my tablemate) is getting more and more handsome!”

In the end, Third Master did not follow the normal course of the plot. He looked up the stairs, his starry eyes full of reluctance. “He’s really handsome! Should we go back and play with him a little longer?”

I dragged him away with a dark face. At that moment, I implicitly swore that I would never speak of my tablemate ever again.

I asked the third master, “When did you start liking me?”

The third master answered quickly without batting an eye, “The first day I saw you.”

I didn’t believe it. However, unable to resist my curiosity, I continued to ask, “Because I brought you a form and told you what to write, you liked me?”

The third master shook his head. 

“No, it was that day in the classroom. At that point, you were chatting with XX. You were wearing a tight-fitting camouflage jacket over a loose and translucent white undershirt. You ended up saying something funny and kept laughing until tears started to come out.” While saying this, he pulled out his phone to find and show me a [laughing-cry] emoji, “You laughed exactly like this little guy here, and then, I just fell in love with you.”

It was the least romantic love-at-first-sight story I’ve ever heard of. He actually liked me because I was laughing like an emoji.

In the summer of high school graduation, I used to send a message to the Third Master before going to bed saying, “Tell me a joke.”

Third Master would search the internet for jokes. Every time, it would be a bad joke like, “A matchstick fell while walking and then lit up a fire”. 

Each time, after reading it, I would reply with, “It’s not funny,” before biding him good night.

That year, he didn’t do as well as usual in the college entrance exams. He was in the midst of deciding whether to set his foot at Tsinghua University or Peking University. So, he was in a bad mood during the whole summer vacation. After consultation with his parents, he submitted all the applications.

I was crazily playing around after the exams and did not worry about this application matter.

Hence, when the notice came, we were separated from each other. Summer vacation was almost over, and I suddenly felt a little lost. Under the influence of this state of loss, I posted a message in “Spaces”, which said, “Third Master, let’s have a long-distance relationship.”

Many of my high school classmates did not know what to say and left messages of blessings below, but the third master didn’t reply.

I was bored enough to post a status, but his ignorance stimulated my fighting spirit. I messaged him privately and asked if he wanted a long-distance relationship. He bluntly rejected me, “No.”

I said, “If we had a long-distance relationship, we’ll always have something to talk about. You play in Xiamen, and I play in Beijing without disturbing each other. What a good thing!”

He just repeated his answer, “No.”

My fighting spirit quickly disintegrated under his refusal, and I replied, “Nevermind then.”

Quite some time later, I went back to that remark and asked him, “Why didn’t you reply?”

The third master responded, “When I first saw it, I was shocked and was trying to find the words to accept your confession, but then you came over to me and started saying something about each playing their own game, so I got angry.”

“Oh,” I said and quickly changed the subject.

A few days later, I noticed the third master secretly giving a thumbs up under the comment.

Because of our relationship, the Third Master and I were a little ambiguous during the last few days of the summer vacation. That day, I asked the Third Master to tell a story, and he told me the tale of BF.

He said, “At the age of seven, the little boy said to the little girl, ‘I’m your BF.’

The girl asked: BF? What’s that?

The boy said: Your BestFriend.

At the age of seventeen, they fell in love.

The boy said to the girl: I am your BF.

The girl asked: What does ‘BF’ mean?

The boy said: It means BoyFriend.

A few years later, they got married and had cute kids.

The husband said to his wife: I’m your BF.

The wife asked: What’s a BF?

The husband looked at their child and replied: It’s Baby’s Father.

Then, they got old, too old to even walk.

The husband said to the old woman: I am your BF.

The old woman asked for the last time: BF?

Her husband told her firmly: Be Forever. 

After listening to him, I was very moved and said, “You are my BF too!”

He seemed a little embarrassed and coughed twice, “This is just a story. You don’t have to be so immersed in it.”

I teased him, “Are you overthinking it? I meant bestfriend. We’ll even become good friends who can eat melon seeds and chat together even in old age!”

He grew even more embarrassed. After thinking about it for a long while, it seemed like he did not know how to say it appropriately. Finally, he said, “Yes, I am your first best friend in the universe.”

That year, we were still BestFriends. And who knows, maybe in one year, we’ll become Be Forever instead. Who can be so certain of their feelings?