A Thousand Thoughts

In the later days of his senior year, Tang Cuo realized the romance of a slow and steady stream. Despite not having to take the postgraduate entrance exam, Tang Cuo was still busy with preparations for going abroad. In order to have more confidence in choosing a school, he joined a pattern recognition-related project recommended by several senior classmates through Tang Xu. He ran back and forth between the library and the laboratory every day and had little time to spend with Tang Xu at home. His parents didn’t say much about their relationship, but they called him more often at night to check if he was at school.

 

He was appointed as Tang Xu’s class representative for the second time, as he had hoped, and he seized the opportunity to run to Tang Xu’s office to discuss some official business with him. He used to not understand what Tang Xu meant by “guilt,” but now, every time he solemnly talks about something in front of the whole class, he feels like he’s acting really hard.

 

By the end of April and the beginning of May, when the preparations for going abroad had come to a complete end and the graduation internship arranged by the school was about to begin, Tang Cuo finally had some time to spare. He went back to his dormitory, packed two pieces of clothing into his bag, and hurried to Tang Xu’s house.

 

The next day, after the location for the graduation internship was announced, Tang Cuo was taken aback. He jumped up from the bed and shouted at the balcony, “We’re going to Harbin for our graduation internship!”

 

Tang Xu was watering the plants on the balcony, which they bought at a clearance sale when they went to the supermarket a few days ago. He didn’t even turn his head and just moved the spray bottle to another position, watering the lush green leaves until they were sweaty. “Is that so?” 

 

Tang Cuo stood on the bed, stepping on the quilt. “Huh?”

 

Tang Xu turned his wrist and turned off the shower.

 

“Have you seen the teacher leading your class?”

 

Tang Cuo was stunned and guessed what was going on. He hurriedly lowered his head to check the notice. When he saw “Automation Class 2” written at the back, he jumped up with joy.

 

Tang Xu opened the balcony door and walked into the room. He was greeted by Tang Cuo, who wasn’t even wearing shoes.

 

“It’s you!”

 

Tang Xu hugged the person hanging on his neck with a smile on his face. “A return to the old place—are you happy?”

 

With sparkling eyes, Tang Cuo curved his legs and wrapped them around Tang Xu’s waist. “I’m so happy!”

 

That night, the class leader discussed buying tickets for the internship in the class group chat. Compared to previous years, the internship location was very good, and the students in the class were very enthusiastic. The chat box was full of messages. The class leader would buy the tickets in bulk, and the school would provide money to buy hard-seated tickets. Those who didn’t want to sit on hard seats could pay extra to upgrade to a soft sleeper. Tang Cuo thought for a moment and asked Tang Xu what type of ticket he would buy.

 

“I’m buying a soft berth with another teacher. You should get a soft berth too.”

 

Tang Cuo rolled around in bed, “I’m not sure; it seems like everyone is either taking hard seats or hard berths. No one has mentioned taking soft berths yet.”

 

“It’s ten hours, and a hard berth might be a bit tiring. You might not sleep well,” Tang Xu replied.

 

Although Tang Cuo wanted to be with Tang Xu, he didn’t want to be too special. Plus, none of the girls had complained about the hard berth, so he didn’t want to seem too sensitive. In the end, under Tang Xu’s gaze, he replied to the class leader’s message, saying he wanted to buy a hard berth. 

 

After the class monitor finished the statistics, he reported to Tang Xu. Except for one girl and two boys, the rest of the students chose hard berths. Tang Xu pondered for two seconds while holding the phone and said, “Let’s do this; you buy all hard berths, and I will transfer the money for the three of them to you. After buying, you can privately tell them about it, but don’t make a fuss.”

 

The class monitor was also sensible and agreed immediately.

 

After hanging up the phone, Tang Cuo put down his phone and laid back, looking at Tang Xu. Tang Xu walked over and sat next to him, saying, “Those three are usually more frugal. It’s okay for the boys; this is a symbol of hard work and perseverance, but for a girl to sit in a hard seat for ten hours alone…”

 

Tang Xu scratched his chin with his hand, “I don’t want the little girl to feel any difference.”

 

Tang Cuo cooperated with his movement, slightly raised his head, narrowed his eyes, and raised his arm to Tang Xu with a thumbs up, saying, ” Teacher Tang is the best in the world.”

 

When Tang Xu transferred money to the monitor, he remembered something and poked the person next to him with his elbow, raising his eyebrows and saying, “Did you transfer yours too?”

 

“…”

 

Tang Cuo felt that Tang Xu was doing it on purpose, knowing that he wouldn’t let him transfer the money but still teasing him.

 

On the day of the internship, Tang Cuo followed the group to school, while Tang Xu was far away from them on the same train. After everyone was settled, they gathered in the adjacent compartments to chat. It was only then that Tang Cuo secretly sent a text message to Tang Xu. He Zhong was sitting next to him and saw his little action. Suddenly, he pretended to cough and scared Tang Cuo so much that his phone almost fell to the ground.

 

“What are you doing?” He hastily exited the WeChat page and asked.

 

He Zhong turned to the side, blocking others’ line of sight, and said in a low volume that only the two of them could hear, “You’re sending a message to Teacher Tang.”

 

Tang Cuo widened his eyes and stared at him innocently.

 

“What are you looking at? Are you stupid? Do you really think I don’t know anything?” 

 

Tang Cuo became even more nervous, tugging at his clothes and getting closer to him to ask, “What do you know?”

 

Seizing the rare opportunity to express his contempt for Tang Cuo’s intelligence, He Zhong rolled his eyes and said in a low voice that only the two of them could hear, “I know everything. Otherwise, do you think it was me who helped you spread lies to your dear classmates every day when you didn’t stay in the dormitory?”

 

Tang Cuo was quite shocked. He had always thought that he and Tang Xu’s affair had gone unnoticed, but from He Zhong’s words and implications, it didn’t seem like news to him at all.

 

Interrupting their ear-whispering activity, the repeated call of “Teacher Tang” caught their attention. Tang Cup looked up and saw Tang Xu’s tall figure leaning against the door frame of their train compartment with one hand, almost blocking the entire door.

 

“If everything is arranged, stop chatting. You’ll have plenty of time to talk during the half-month internship. It’s time to turn off the lights now, and continuing to talk will disturb others’ rest.”

 

The group nodded in agreement and quickly returned to their own bunk beds.

 

After giving them some standard advice like being mindful of their safety and property and not staying up all night chatting, Tang Xu left. When he was gone, He Zhong asked Tang Cuo if he wanted the bottom or middle bunk, and Tang Cuo hesitantly chose the bottom one. 

 

He Zhong smirked and said, “Okay, then you’ll have to go…to the bathroom later!” Tang Cuo was so shocked that he almost passed out, but then he laughed and lightly kicked He Zhong.

 

After the lights on the train went out for a while, Tang Cuo’s phone lit up.

 

He looked around with his eyes and made sure that the other passengers in the carriage were already in a resting state before quietly putting on his shoes and sneaking out in the dark.

 

He was in carriage number seven, while Tang Xu was in carriage number two. The train corridor was quiet, and he held his phone tightly as he walked forward, occasionally passing by a few people who were not sleeping and were looking out the window.

 

As he walked towards carriage number three, he was about to pick up the pace when a hand suddenly reached out and pulled him into the adjacent carriage. Perhaps because of his long reflex arc or perhaps because he was too relaxed, he didn’t even utter a cry of surprise as Tang Xu pinned him against the carriage door and kissed him passionately.

 

There was no one in the compartment; it was pitch black, and both Tang Cu’s body and his kiss carried the unique warmth of midsummer.

 

Finally breathing fresh air again, he was gasping for breath, and his heart was pounding in the darkness.

 

“Why do I feel like… we’re having an affair…”

 

It was a bit thrilling, yet he really liked it.

 

Tang Cu’s hand was supporting his waist, gently rubbing it. Hearing this, Tang Cu laughed lightly and nodded seriously, “Yeah, it does seem a bit like that.”

 

He lifted the hem of Tang Xu’s top and slipped his hand inside. “We have three more minutes to sneak around, then you have to go back to sleep.” steal before you go back to sleep.”

 

As they kissed, Tang Cuo began to dodge Tang Xu’s lips, “Hey, don’t kiss my neck…”

 

Maybe it was because the skin on his neck was thin and especially prone to leaving marks. Usually, Tang Xu was careful and gentle, but now he couldn’t pass it off as mosquito bites to their senior classmates.

 

Tang Xu, on the other hand, teased him on purpose, constantly hovering around his neck and making him laugh while trying to dodge.

 

When the three minutes were up, Tang Xu straightened his clothes for him and handed him a glass of water from the small table beside them.

 

“The water inside is just right to drink. Go back and have half a cup before going to sleep. You always forget to bring a water bottle when going out. After so many days, are you planning to drink cold water every day?”

 

Tang Cuo retorted stubbornly, “We 90s don’t bring water bottles when we go out. We’re young and strong. We’re not afraid of cold water.”

 

It was too dark to see Tang Cuo’s expression clearly, but Tang Xu felt that his defiance must have been quite vivid.

 

He chuckled and lightly pinched Tang Cuo’s shoulder. “After you arrive at the base, you’ll live there. Our teachers won’t live with you. Take good care of yourself. There’s air conditioning in the dormitory, but don’t keep it on all night. Don’t get angry or catch a cold, got it?”

 

Only then did Tang Cuo understand why Tang Xu was so passionate just now. He let out a reluctant sound: “You guys aren’t living with us?”

 

Tang Xu listened and laughed, propping his hands on the door and encircling him in his arms. “Hmm, we’ll be staying at a hotel near the base, and I’ll be sharing a room with the other team leader. So, if you want to ‘have an affair’ while no one is paying attention, it might not be very convenient,” he said, pinching Tang Cuo’s chin with his fingers and shaking his head. “What a shame.”

 

Tang Cuo nodded vigorously under his hand and said, “Such a pity.”

 

Now they probably won’t be able to sneak in a few kisses for half a month.

 

The serious tone of Tang Cuo made Tang Xu laugh so hard that he bent over and, holding him, kissed him and said, “Do your internship well. This will be the most unforgettable collective memory before your graduation as a 90s generation. Trust me, it will be very interesting. As for the ‘secret affair’ thing, don’t worry about it. I’ll find the opportunity, hmm?”

 

“Oh,” Tang Cuo lifted his foot slightly and kissed Tang Xu’s face, “Yes. Tang Teacher, I will obey.”

 

Subsequent memories proved that what Tang Xu said was indeed true: the graduation internship was really fun. Although there were daily learning and practical tasks, when Tang Cuo recalled this internship far from graduation, he couldn’t help but smile unconsciously. What seemed to fill his time during that period were the late-night battles of the game “Werewolf.” As graduation approached, it seemed that everyone had become closer in their relationships. They had shared so much laughter that half a month of nights was not enough.

 

In his future studies and work, Tang Cuo also participated in some group activities, but none of them were as profound as that one. He had discussed this issue with Tang Xu, and in the end, he concluded the reason himself.

 

In their university days, they hadn’t yet been divided into different social classes. They had similar backgrounds, experiences, and beliefs. They had no economic conflicts and almost no interpersonal conflicts. And most importantly, they could still enjoy the student discount for admission tickets to scenic areas. At the time, Tang Cuo didn’t realize it, but later he understood that what made them laugh all night in the hot and stuffy environment, tirelessly playing a game they couldn’t forget, was the thing called “youth” that had been talked about to death.

 

He was glad he listened to Tang Xu’s advice and enjoyed the tail end of their youth.

 

After Tang Cuo finished speaking, he wriggled out of Tang Xu’s embrace, opened the door, and whispered, “Well, I’m leaving. Goodbye, ’80s generation’.”

 

Tang Xu looked at Tang Cuo’s back as he ran away, feeling both amused and exasperated. He thought to himself that this kid was getting bolder and bolder.

 

But as he turned around to close the door to the empty carriage, Tang Xu couldn’t help but smile and shake his head. He realized that he was indulging Tang Cuo’s behavior as well.

 

As he walked towards his own carriage, Tang Xu’s phone vibrated twice. He assumed it was Tang Cuo since it was already past midnight and it was unlikely for anyone else to contact him at this time. However, when he checked his phone, he was surprised to see that it was Shi Xi, whom he hadn’t heard from in a long time.

 

—I couldn’t get through to you on the phone, so I’m texting you. Please call me back. There’s something very important I need to tell you.

 

Tang Xu stopped and tilted his head to read the message, then walked to the narrow window.

 

The train maintained a unique quietness, and people could hear its rushing sound yet still feel it was quiet. Since his teenage years, when he travelled by train to different places, Tang Xu felt that this flowing tranquilly of the night could make people experience an abstract sense of reality, perhaps related to the mood of the people on the train. Regardless of whether one was returning home or going far away, they could discover in this quietness that they were still on the road.

 

The signal on the train was not good. Tang Xu dialled twice before hearing Shi Xi’s voice after a beep sound.

 

He smiled and said, “Long time no see. It’s so late, and you’re not sleeping?”

 

A tall figure stood in front of the window for a long time, initially facing the window but later changing to a leaning posture. He always spoke softly on the phone, not saying much and mostly listening to the other person on the line.

 

As a girl came out to get some water, she secretly glanced at this handsome man by the window. She heard him say in a gentle tone, “I’ll take him there.”

 

The girl carefully held the slightly hot water cup and thought to herself, this kind of low-pitched voice with a hint of laughter is really deadly.