A Thousand Thoughts

When Tang Xu returned to the room, Tang Cuo was gone, and Shi Xi was sitting in front of the mirror, tinkering with the necklace she would wear later.

 “Where’s SiHang?” Tang Xu asked.

 Shi Xi replied without turning her head, “I ate him.”

 Tang Xu chuckled softly. “Then I should be heartbroken.”

 After knowing each other for so long, this was the first time Shi Xi had heard Tang Xu say something so sweet. She put down the necklace in her hand and stood up, saying, “Tang Xu, let’s talk.”

 “I’ve always wanted to ask you, why him? You’ve had many girls around you for so many years, and as far as I know, there have been boys who have expressed interest in you. Why did you choose him… this little kid?”

 After hearing the question, Tang Xu stood next to Shi Xi, leaning on the table with her. He lowered his eyes and thought for a moment before speaking: “Actually, I’m not a person with rich emotions. I don’t know if you have noticed.”

 Tang Xu looked at Shi Xi, and she nodded at him.

 Tang Xu tugged at the corner of his mouth and said, “Like you said, I’ve met so many people over the years, but I haven’t liked anyone. To put it bluntly, I haven’t experienced what it means to like or love someone. It was only after reuniting with Si Hang that I gradually understood.” Tang Xu chuckled softly and frowned, looking somewhat distressed. “To put it another way, I’ve summed it up like this: if love were a proposition, then for me, it has two premises. One is the desire to care for someone, and the other is the desire to possess them. For example, with you, I have a feeling of wanting to protect and care for you, but I’ve never had any desire to possess you. But my ‘love’ proposition is an ‘and’ proposition, not an ‘or’ proposition.”

 “Wow, you’re speaking so academically…” Shi Xi chuckled and turned her head to the side. “Did he make you have a desire to possess him?”

 Tang Xu nodded. “In fact, my method of judging my own feelings is very simple. I asked myself two questions. The first one is whether I want to spend my life with him or not, and the second one is whether I want to clearly draw a line with him like I do with others.”

 “And then? Did you get the answer that you want to spend your life with him and don’t want to draw a line?”

 “The first one is correct; the second one is not entirely correct.” Tang Xu shook his head. “Actually, I only spent a very short time thinking about these two questions, faster than I have ever answered any question before. When I was thinking about the second question, the answer I came up with was ‘I can’t bear to.’ At that moment, I was quite surprised because it was the first time I had experienced that feeling of not being able to bear it. I immediately realized that this was what it meant to want to possess someone. I want to spend my whole life with him, and I think he must also be with me. Age, identity, and gender are not things that need to be considered in my case.”

 Facing the sunlight, Shi Xi looked at him firmly. No matter how she tried to let go of the person she had liked for so many years, there would always be a tinge of sourness in her heart. She remembered that when she was watching “The Heaven Sword and Dragon Sabre,” she told herself that she had to be Zhao Min, not Zhou Zhiruo, but in the end, she didn’t become Zhao Min. Fortunately, she didn’t become Zhou Zhiruo either.

 “I always thought you were careless in matters of the heart, but I didn’t expect you to be so clear about your own feelings.”

 Tang Xu smiled and shook his head. “I only understood it when I turned thirty, which is quite foolish of me. Someone once told me that SiHang understood too early what possession meant. Thinking about it carefully, we are the opposite in this regard. He understood too early, while I understood too late.”

 After a moment of silence, Shi Xi felt a sense of relief and said, “I think I understand now. No matter what, the person you ultimately chose is good enough, so I don’t feel any regret.”

 “It’s because you have a kind heart and are magnanimous,” Tang Xu said.

 Shi Xi lowered her head and didn’t say anything.

 Tang Xu gently patted her head. “The bridesmaids have been waiting next door for a while. I’ll ask them to come over and keep you company.”

 As Tang Xu turned to leave, he was stopped by Shi Xi’s outstretched hand.

 “I have one more question.” Shi Xi’s gaze was deep and distant, neither biased nor partial, and fell right on his eyes. “If I wasn’t hurt because of Si Hang, would you still accompany me for treatment abroad?”

 “I said before that I want to protect and take care of you as if you were my family, so as long as you need me, I will accompany you for treatment.”

 After speaking, Tang Xu gently patted the hand that Shi Xi had grasped on his arm. “Shi Xi, in the future, no matter what happens, you can always come to me.”

 After leaving the room, Tang Xu didn’t immediately leave but leaned against the wall to contemplate the question that Shi Xi had just asked him.

Every word Shi Xi said was true, but there was also something he was hiding. The reason why Shi Xi got hurt wouldn’t affect his actions, but looking back at his feelings at the time, he had to admit that he indeed hoped that Shi Xi would be safe because it involved Tang Cuo. Even though Tang Cuo was incredibly wrong at that time, he still didn’t want him to bear any heavy consequences of that mistake in the future.

 The door beside him was pushed open again and then closed. Tang Cuo stood quietly at the door and looked at him.

 The two of them looked at each other, but neither mentioned what had just happened. Tang Xu straightened up and touched Tang Cuo’s bow tie.

 “The wedding hasn’t started yet, and I saw a small stream nearby. There’s nothing for us to do here anyway; do you want to take a walk?”

 Tang Cuo nodded in agreement.

 It was clear that the person who chose this wedding venue put a lot of thought into it. Both the venue and its surroundings were beautiful enough to satisfy every girl’s imagination of a fairytale world.

 Tang Cuo seemed lost in thought the whole way, until they reached the stream and seemed to snap out of it, finally beginning to appreciate the scenery.

 By the stream, clusters of small chrysanthemums were blooming. Tang Cuo picked a nearly red one and held it up to Tang Xu’s eyes. “Do you know what flower this is?”

 Tang Xu smiled and shook his head.

 “It’s an African chrysanthemum, also known as the cosmos flower.”

 Because it was too hot, Tang Cuo had already taken off his suit jacket. At the moment, he was wearing only a white shirt like Tang Xu, with the hem pulled out and fluttering with the rhythm of the wind.

 Without waiting for Tang Xu’s response, he suddenly ran two steps forward, turned around, and walked backwards, looking at Tang Xu across layers of overlapping sunlight.

 “Hey Tang Xu, I want to sing you a song, a song that I really like.”

 Tang Xu had his hands in his pockets, and his eyes were full of indulgent expressions. “Are you using a song to confess? Why are you so enthusiastic today?”

 “I can’t let down the topic you gave me.” Tang Cuo blinked his eyes and looked back at the flat grass behind him, then quickly turned his head to look at Tang Xu. “Besides, you won’t understand it; it’s in Minnan dialect.”

The young man smiled brilliantly, holding the African chrysanthemum to his lips.

 When you wanted to sing, the fragrance of the plumeria spread out, and the sound of the stream became the accompaniment. 

 Tang Cuo’s voice was warm and clear, matching the early summer. Although Tang Xu couldn’t understand the lyrics, he seemed to fully understand the love in 

 After finishing the song, Tang Cuo asked her a few steps away, “Did you understand it?” 

 Tang Xu pretended to think for a moment, pondering deeply for a while before saying, “As for the lyrics, I only understood one word, happiness.”

Tang Cuo stopped in front, while Tang Xu continued forward. The gazes of the two were still intertwined, reluctant to part until the distance between them disappeared, their breaths collided, and the pupils reflected each other’s faces.

 Tang Cuo tiptoed and planted a kiss on the attractive lips in front of him.

 “Then you’re amazing. You understood everything I wanted to give you.”

 Tang Xu reached out and hugged Tang Cuo’s waist, bringing the two even closer.

 “That’s a coincidence; I’m just like you.”

 

I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong

I don’t know whether it’s good or bad

I don’t know if you’ll laugh at me for being silly

On a hot afternoon with rain in the northwest

I miss you but don’t know where you are

I really hope

To see your smile

Your warmth

Filling my lonely heart

I can’t wait any longer

I want to tell you

What do you think

What do you guess

Who is causing me sleepless nights

Bothered by

The merciless wind

The merciless rain

Blocking our path

 I care for you

 I cherish you

 I hold you in my hands

 You are my only hope in life 

 I want to bring you happiness

 Whether it’s good or not

 If the most beautiful things in the world are the sunshine and you, then I have them both at this moment. I am extremely lucky. My love for you will last a lifetime.

 

Author’s note:

End of the story.

The story is not true, but their feelings are.

 Late at night, I finished this story. Actually, I have quite a lot of emotions right now, but it’s late, so I’ll just write a few words to commemorate it.

 At the beginning, I wrote this story just as a “what if you didn’t take the wrong path” idea, but I didn’t expect to be able to finish it smoothly. Although it’s not written very well, I still hope it can bring even a little bit of emotion or any other positive thing to those who read it.

 True love is very beautiful, and I hope everyone can achieve their wishes.

 And the most important thing is to thank everyone for their companionship along the way.

 Love and kisses~

rue: The main story has completed! I’m feeling so emotional right now… I’m really happy for both of them, but at the same time, I feel sad because I’ll miss them, but There are extras left~