C2: The Past Is Like A Cloud

Li Chen and Li Rui were not brothers, they just happened to have the same surname and their parents also knew each other when they were young.

When they lived in a bungalow, the two families lived in the same courtyard. After the bungalows were demolished, they moved into the same building and lived in opposite apartments.

When the two mothers were pregnant, the two couples often joked about arranging a marriage for the babies in their bellies.

Li Rui was born a month and a half earlier than Li Chen so he always regarded himself as Li Chen’s elder brother. When playing with Li Chen, he listened to whatever he said.

Moreover, the two had never been separated ever since they were young. They went to the same school from kindergarten to university. Later, Li Rui’s grandmother also helped them to secure positions in the current hospital they were working at.

Li Chen found out that he had abnormal feelings for Li Rui during the summer vacation at the beach when they were thirteen years old.

Under the azure sky, there were clear waters and soft sandy beaches. Li Rui’s upper body was exposed and the smile on his face was brighter than the sun.

Li Chen’s heart pulsated all day long, and he dared not face Li Rui’s smiling face, but the latter was like a fish that just had to pester him.

When his hot skin was touched by Li Rui’s fingertips, he would tremble slightly and couldn’t control himself at all.

Finally, when Li Rui accidentally touched his navel, his body reacted.

Feeling shameless and perverted, the guilt tortured him for the entire summer vacation.

When he returned home, he refused to play with Li Rui anymore. Instead, he huddled in his room and searched online for information, finally concluding that he was different from other boys, he didn’t like girls, but the one he liked was right next to him.

They were so close to each other, but at the same time, they were worlds apart. Yes, this was the distance between them, it was impossible to cross it in this life.

After realizing this fact, Li Chen was very depressed. He didn’t understand how it happened, and he didn’t dare to have any physical contact with Li Rui afterwards.

But no matter what he did, he still couldn’t change this state. As long as he was idle, Li Rui was constantly on his mind, like a devil.

Later, when he couldn’t stand Li Rui’s constant pestering, he surrendered and stayed with him all day long.

He told himself, “Forget it. Just follow him, watch him, help him, protect him.” As long as he didn’t say anything to him, didn’t scare him away, and didn’t embarrass him, it was enough.

Li Rui made his first girlfriend at the age of fourteen and took her to see Li Chen that day. Seeing Li Rui’s elated expression, Li Chen felt a lump rise in his throat and he excused himself hurriedly.

Since then, Li Rui routinely changed his girlfriends, all of who lasted less than two months. Seeing Li Rui’s casual behaviour, Li Chen gradually got used to it.

It was not until the third year of high school that Li Rui fell in love with the campus Belle, Liu Mengfan. He was unusually serious and swore to Li Chen that he had finally found his true love.

T/N: Not sure if this Liu Mengfan and Liu Xiao Hua from chapter 1 are the same people. The author didn’t say anything so let’s just assume they’re different people?

Li Chen was stupefied after hearing the news. Afterwards, he returned to his room and shed tears while writing in his diary. Li Rui and Liu Mengfan had lasted a whole year and by then, Li Chen had become desperate and resentful like a wife who was cast aside.

Unexpectedly, a few days before the college entrance examination, Liu Mengfan suddenly broke up with Li Rui, saying that she was in love with someone else. Li Rui was furious and went to the boy’s school to beat him. The result was that he was detained for fifteen days and lost a lot of money.

Originally, with Li Rui’s results, getting admitted to Tsinghua or Peking university wasn’t an issue but after this incident, his result differed by more than 100 points in the mock exams.

Fortunately, Li Rui’s grandmother had a lot of connections and was able to secure a place for him in a medical school. From then onwards, he continued his habit of having girlfriends that lasted less than two months.

Looking at Li Chen again, he was 28 years old and had never talked about having a relationship, much less attending the blind dates arranged by his parents.

He thought, “He didn’t like girls, so why bother to delay others? Simply put, it’s better to not start.”

Li Chen had visited a few gay bars in hopes of finding someone but after a few attempts, he realized that he had no interest in anyone else apart from Li Rui.

In the end, he gave up. It seems like, in this life, he can only have Li Rui in his heart. However, Li Rui also didn’t behave like a normal friend.

The conversations and jokes he made with his colleagues were normal but…how do you describe that feeling?

It was just like a mother eagle, opening her wings to protect the little eagle in the nest and not allowing the small chick to be hurt at all.

Sometimes, Li Chen felt that Li Rui was protecting him too much and in an ambiguous way. It’s just that Li Rui himself didn’t know it, but Li Chen took it for granted.

Maybe it was because of his tenderness and care that he fell in love with him unconsciously?

What was love? Li Chen had thought about it many times. Was it to ask, to give, to possess, or to let go?

Perhaps love is helpless, love is powerless, and his feelings for Li Rui are just like that.