C282: THE MUSHROOM’S RETURN

Now that Ritheseus and Eryngear have started dating, the interaction between the students has stabilized even more.
I mean, their conflict was the most problematic of all.

Point is, I’m relieved to know that things are back on track again, so I decided to start working on something else after a long while.
A farm’s primary purpose is to grow crops.
Now, it’s time to get back to that duty.

To tell you the truth, there’s something I’ve been wanting to grow for a long time.
And it’s…

“Mushrooms!”

…
No, it’s not what you’re thinking.

One of the new characters is named Eryngear, but it’s not like we’re playing an association game that goes…
Eryngear -> eryngii -> mushroom.
I swear!

Anyway, mushrooms.
They have established themselves as a kind of foodstuff, so much so that you might wonder why I haven’t touched them before.
The only explanation I can give is that it’s the order of things.

Some people don’t like their characteristic chewy texture, but I love it. I would love to add them to my cooking repertoire.
Of course, there are mushrooms in this world as well. You can find them growing in forests, but I’ve never picked and eaten them… because I’m afraid they might be poisonous.

In my world, I often hear in the news about amateurs getting poisoned by the mushrooms they gathered.
This fear is so ingrained in me that I never dared to pick mushrooms even when I saw them here, and I’ve strictly ordered our residents not to pick them either.

After all, they’re otherworldly mushrooms, so any knowledge from my world probably won’t apply.
I have no idea how to tell which ones are poisonous or not.
It’s not like we can risk going through trial and error to find out, anyway.

I had high hopes when the elves, masters of the forests, joined, thinking they’d be able to recognize poisonous mushrooms at a glance, but…

“We absolutely hate mushrooms! I can’t believe you eat them!!!” they said.
“The wrinkles under their caps are disgusting!” “The spores stick on my hands!” “They’re so moist! “Smelly!” “Obscene!!!”

And so on.

Rather than being knowledgeable about mushrooms, they, as a race, hate them.
Perhaps the memory of their ancestors who were exposed to poisonous mushrooms caused them to instinctively avoid them.

That’s why mushrooms have never been introduced to my farm until now.
This time, I’m finally going to try to get some.

The mushrooms we collected are poisonous…probably.
So, the only way to solve this problem is to grow our own mushrooms, which I know aren’t poisonous.

How am I going to tell the difference, you ask?
With the help of the Hand of Supremacy, of course!
I feel like it’s been quite some time since I last used my ability.

Just as I can make various vegetables sprout by simply touching the soil, I’ll try growing popular mushrooms that were eaten in my world, such as shiitake, shimeji, enoki, and nameko.

Now, time to grow some mushrooms.

I’ve seen how to grow them on TV or something.
They grow on trees, if I recall.

You cut down a tree, turn it into a log of appropriate length, and plant the fungus there.
According to what I saw, they drill a hole in the tree and then hammer something like a wooden nail filled with fungus.
Then, the mushrooms would grow out of it.

I will follow that same method but not go into more detail since the process is pretty straightforward.

And it’s done.
All that’s left is to wait for the mushroom to grow while keeping an eye on the humidity and atmospheric temperature.
Other crops grow quickly thanks to the hyper-fish fertilizer Platy makes, but that can’t penetrate into the wood.

I’ll just have to wait and see how it grows.
It’s essential to take things leisurely sometimes.
I put the fungus-filled log in a safe spot and let time pass.

When will it grow, I wonder? Next year?
I was thrilled by the feeling that I was farming normally. And then…

A few days later, the mushroom started to grow.

“In just a few days?!”

That was fast.
I can’t use hyper fertilizer, so I had to wait for it to grow at a normal pace. But for results to show this quickly is just strange…
Did I exercise some kind of otherworldly effect again unknowingly?!

What do you think, looking at this outcome?
Carefully observing the mushroom that has grown, I realize that this is an otherworldly abnormality.
The mushroom is insanely huge.

It’s not like it’s a big dick or some other crude metaphor.
It’s as big as I am tall—a giant mushroom.
There’s no way this has nothing to do with otherworldly fantasy!

“Why did it grow like this…”

I’m sure I planted a normal mushroom fungus on the log with the Hand of Supremacy.
I tried the standard shiitake mushroom, for starters.

But this giant mushroom that grew in just a few days is, in no way, a shiitake!
What should I do?
Should I just burn the entire log?!

“Please wait a minute…”

?!
Huh?! What was that voice?
I heard a voice from out of nowhere!
I’ve never heard this feminine, calm, and seductive voice before.

Then, something strange happens before me.
Something appears on the giant mushroom stalk.

Are those… eyes?!

“Hello there.”
“So, you’re the one who spoke!”

I unhesitantly punched the giant mushroom.

“Oogh! Gah! Stop! Stop it! Don’t hit me, or my spores will scatter around! I’m saving them on a good day!”

I knew it.
This isn’t a shiitake mushroom.
It’s an otherworldly fantasy mushroom!!!

“What are you and where did you come from?”
“Asking the obvious, huh? I came from the log you prepared. Where else?”

Well, that I can see…

“Before that, I was floating in the air as a microscopic spore. I am ubiquitous in this world.”
“Stop! Stop saying things that make me hesitate with every breath I take!”

You make me want an air purifier!

“The reason I was able to be reborn to a visible size again is the vessel you prepared, Lord Saint. I am eternally grateful.”
“Vessel? You mean the log you grew from?”

I didn’t prepare it for you, though.
Was the shiitake mushroom that was supposed to grow destroyed by this giant alien mushroom in its filament stage?
If so, I’m a little unamused because it ruined my excitement.

“So, what in the world are you?”

Since it’s capable of speech, I asked it again.
I’ll incinerate it after I find out exactly what it is.

“Well, that’s just cold of you. You and I have met before.”
“I don’t know any talking mushrooms, though?”
“I had not yet acquired the ability to speak at the time. But we did meet on that mountaintop where the falling crimson leaves were dancing.”