C345: The Immortal Earl

My name is…
…Uh, I forgot.

I forgot my name a long time ago.

Such is the trend of Lifeless Kings, beings who have transcended death.

To us conquerors of death, our days of living, trapped in old age and perdition, are a disgrace.
So we threw them away, including the names we used to call ourselves.

Now that I have triumphed over death, people call me an earl.
If I had to say, it’s befitting of my transcendence.

I absorbed a dungeon’s dense mana, yet I was reincarnated as an immortal without losing my ego.
That’s right, I’m an earl Lifeless King, one of the most atrocious beings in the world.

My dungeon, Country Castle, is half-cave, half-ruins.
Most Lifeless Kings live in cave dungeons, but I find that uncouth in taste, so I rebuilt it.

Today, this opulent and mysterious labyrinth is being invaded by adventurers like rats.
How despicable.
They’re aware that death awaits them here, yet they still dare to enter for the sake of treasure?

Do they think they can get away from me?

Either way, I welcome the insolent intruders.
It’s the perfect way to kill time.
A hunting “game” is not complete without prey.

Valiant petty thieves. Intruders who call themselves adventurers.
Their bravery deserves to be recognized by being my prey.

Hunting is a noble sport.
It’s a fight for life with your prey. You must use all your wits and strength to hunt your prey, torment it as much as possible, and then bring it down.
The brutality of this game is worthy of being enjoyed by the strong.

I love this game of hunting, especially when my prey is adventurers.

I wonder what kind of prey the adventurers will be today?
They can be clever, agile, or even beautiful.
No matter who they are, they are destined to be hunted down and killed by me.

I want their sorry bums to run away and entertain me as much as possible.
If they do, I’ll stuff them and display them in my study as their reward.
I hope an excellent prey becomes part of my growing collection.

Come, you miserable lowlifes bound to your fate of death.
I, the earl Lifeless King, will tell you our absolute difference: I won’t die, but you all will.
Come!

Boom!
I’ve been haaaaad!!!

“And just as you witnessed,” says Sensei. “A Lifeless King is an extremely dangerous monster, an irredeemable fool who has forgotten the sacredness of life because they have transcended death. Occasionally, they find someone alive and play with their victim by killing them… Truly a fool beyond saving.”

Sorry for the late introductions; Hakkai the Flamines Orc here.
…
This feels nostalgic somehow.

I used to accompany Prince Arowana on his pilgrimage, but since that ended, I’ve been back to working with the other orcs at Lord Saint’s farm.

Today, I’m escorting Sensei for caution’s sake on a social field trip. But as expected, it was needless fear.
He slaughtered the other Lifeless King in one hit.

“Gahhh!!! W-W-W-What is wrong with you?!”

Oh, I take it back.
He wasn’t killed despite getting directly hit by Sensei’s attack.

As expected of a brutal Immortal King.

“I knew he’d get back up… Did you see that, everyone? Just as our title, ‘Immortal King,’ implies, a Lifeless King does not die. A living person cannot fight against one unless they’re wielding a holy sword or unleashing a holy attack like an angel’s mana cannon.”

The students nod their heads in admiration while taking notes.

…Good for them.
They’re experiencing something valuable right now.

“All Lifeless Kings are wicked scum, and the earl is a prime example. He ‘hunts’ people, torments and terrifies them, and kills them only after they’ve abandoned all hope… He enjoys such a hobby in poor taste.”

He’s demeaning in front of the person in question.

“Lifeless Kings are fundamentally twisted like so. No exceptions! So, never approach them. That is the ironclad rule for survival. Do you understand?”
“YES, SENSEI!”

A good answer.
They had all the opportunities to make a retort, though.

“You’re not fooling me, you ruffian!!!” scornfully says the dungeon guardian, the Lifeless King.

…It’s understandable he’d react that way after being spoken ill of.
And on top of that, we crashed his place…

“I wondered what was going on… Why? Why is there another Lifeless King here?!”
“I wanted to teach these promising children about the stupidity and hopelessness of a Lifeless King.”

Two Lifeless Kings have come together in one place.

“I heard a rumor that there’s an arrogant, immortal fool in a corner of the former Human Kingdom. We came here because I thought they’d make the perfect teaching material. Of course, to use them as a bad example.”
“Nonsense! How dare you talk like that to the transcendent me who has conquered death!”
“I’m no different. But what does it matter? What is there to boast about in being immortal?”

Sensei gently says, “People die. There is always an end to all living things, and that is death. Such is natural and is part of the circle of life. We are merely defying that principle.”
“…”
“Because people die, they also give birth to new life. This continuous repetition is the true eternity. We, who have strayed from that cycle, are plain pitiable. I wanted to show this ugly side to the students. To fear Lifeless Kings and never aspire to become one.”

A Lifeless King was once a living person but became immortal by violating a forbidden law. With the knowledge and power, do any of these young people have the potential to become a Lifeless King, too?

“I think it’s the least I can teach them.”
“Don’t play the good guy on me now, you worthless shitttt!!!”

The other Lifeless King becomes even more agitated.

“You talk like you know everything when you’re just a lowly Lifeless King! The lowest of the low! I’m the superior one! I’ll destroy you right here and noooooooow!!!”

The earl’s sinister magic rises.

“I’ll destroy you with my ultimate magic, Noblesse Rending Bullets!!!”

A tremendous number of bullets fly toward Sensei at once.
If he takes a direct hit, he and the students behind would be blown away without a trace!

But that didn’t happen.

The bullets dispelled like haze with a wave of Sensei’s finger.

“What?!” shockingly says the earl.

“An amateur control of magic. Do you really think a youngster like you, who’s been a Lifeless King for a couple of hundred years, can beat me in a battle?” says Sensei. “There is also a difference in rank among our kind. A newcomer like you is a thousand years too young to challenge me.”
“A thousand years?! You… No way…”

The earl trembles, his bones clattering.
Ah… I guess my turn won’t come today.

“I’ve heard of the few Lifeless Kings who stand at the top of the strongest! The Three Wise and One Folly, as they call it! Don’t tell me you’re one of them?!”
“Come to think of it, Professor did say something similar… It’s a bother being nominated without permission, really.”

Incidentally…

“It was also Professor who told me about you. I asked him if any Lifeless Kings could make good teaching material, and he introduced me to you. He truly is a madman who deserves the title of ‘Professor’ for keeping detailed data on all Lifeless Kings except himself.”
“Professor, Sensei… Elder Immortal Kings are the only ones who surpass Immortal Kings… A Lifeless High King in the flesh?!”
“You’re even worse than what I’ve heard. It’s a different topic if I only happened to hear about you, but to actually witness and overlook this atrocity? I just hope my students learn from this.”
“Wait! Please wait! If I knew you were such a bigwig, I would’ve given you the warmest welcome! If you’d like, I can prepare some refreshments now…!”
“No, thank you. I’ve decided to destroy you.”
“Eek!”
“It’s to stop you and your foolish ‘hunts.’ Know that it is the privilege of Immortal Kings to bestow death to other undead who have forgotten.”
“Noooooooooooooo! I don’t want to dieeeeeeee!”

The brutal earl, killing adventurers under the guise of ‘hunting’ them as prey, incurred Sensei’s wrath and was sealed away for perpetuity.
Afterwards, Country Castle became a guardian-less dungeon and was flocked by adventurers.