Dear Love

Finally, Fu Jun Yan stopped the episode. He pulled Gu Xiao An, who was crying bitterly in my arms, and put the little guy in his arms to let him see my hand. His slender index finger naturally lifted the eye-catching artificial wound, and I could feel the slightly hot fingers. Then, he patted An’an on the back and gave him a steady look. Then he brought up the syrup adjusted by the staff like blood to An’an and said very gently, “An’an, have a taste.”

Gu Xiao An shook his head stubbornly, sniffed and cried, “An’an is not a monster!”

I suddenly lost my breath and listened to Fu Jun Yan coax him with a good temper: “This is the syrup for acting. It’s sweet. It’s the same as the candy An’an likes to eat.” 

Then he raised his head and looked at me with deep eyes, to reassure me. Then he said, “I asked the props master. It’s edible.” I nodded and looked at Gu Xiao An who had a red nose.

Gu Xiao An kept staring at me with his cheeks bulging. When he saw me nodding, he flustudio his eyes and stared at Fu Jun Yan for a long time. Fu Jun Yan then raised his hands and waited patiently in front of the little guy. Finally, after a while, Gu Xiao An stretched out his tongue like a small animal and licked Fu Jun Yan’s fingers. That action seemed to summon up all courage, both timid and yet courageous.

At this time, I found that An’an had stopped crying. But his little hand still clung to my clothes. In a voice that only Fu Jun Yan and I could hear, he asked weakly, “Sister won’t die like my mother?” That timid look made my heart ache. I nodded solemnly, took another look at Fu Jun Yan, and then bowed my head and kissed An’an’s little face.

At this time, Jay came from one side. He bent down and touched Gu Xiao An’s small head and said to me, “Xiao Ai, you are lucky to have such a good relative.”

I looked up at him looking down at me and unconsciously said, “I don’t know where I got the good luck…”

That day, An’an took the initiative to sleep with me with his little quilt. His young body dragged the quilt, knocked on my door with his small head tilted, looked at me with his small cheeks very seriously, blinked his big eyes and said, “Sister, sleep with An’an!”

I want to laugh and cry. It feels so good to be needed. My heart just because of his childish words, it was as warm as seeing the most beautiful sunrise in the world, and there was no regret or sadness.

I pulled up the quilt, sat up from the bed, stretched out my hands, shook them, smiled and nodded to him.

Then the little guy ran over like a gust of wind. First he rustudio into my arms and kissed me. Then he pulled up the quilt and lay down, pulled my clothes with small pink hands, looked at me with big eyes several times, and then closed his eyes safely.

After a while, the door of the room that had not been closed instigated a mass of snow-white. Xiao Qi ran in with his tail wagging. He took a look at Gu Xiao An lying down and barked softly. Then he closed his eyes and shrank at the foot of the bed.

I watched all this silently, and then I looked up to see Fu Jun Yan who was leaning against the door and quietly watching this. I pointed at Gu Xiao An’s little hand holding the hem of my clothes. He nodded, still just looking at us from the shadows. 

I couldn’t make out his expression, but I thought it was an extremely soft and warm look. His slender figure stood in front of me on this dim night. I suddenly remembered that when all the inexplicable things followed, when I climbed into the nanny car in a mess, he just held out his hand to take An’an and said to me, ‘You’re tired, take a break. ’ And that one gently stretched out his hand and seemed to take over all my confusion and bewilderment.

Or maybe it was because of the hands that first came into my eyes. From then on, no matter when I saw him, I didn’t feel afraid or even relieved. I suddenly thought of the phrase “quiet and good years”. I think it’s very beautiful just like this. I think I’m crazy….

But I still have questions to ask. I said, “Fu Jun Yan, why does An’an know that her mother is dead?”

He seemed to know it clearly. Without hesitation, he whispered to me, “I brought An’an into the room that day. I told An’an.”

I suddenly couldn’t stand hearing him say that. Thinking of the pain of not having a mother since childhood, I couldn’t help but raise my eyes and stare at Fu Jun Yan almost angrily. Because I can’t understand why he did it!

But Fu Jun Yan was not angry. He just stood in the shadows and spoke faintly. I listened to him. The tone was gentle and heavy. “We can tell An’an that her mother has gone away because she is young. But behind a lie is countless lies, which is an endless bottomless hole. Xiao Ai, do you want the child’s childhood to be filled with lies? An’an’s biological mother is something we can’t afford, so we shouldn’t give hope to the child from the beginning. The child is just confuse, not ignorant, but he will eventually grow up, telling him the truth is better than anything. With our love, you have to believe that he will not be alone and insufficient. “

I was silent. He was right. Finally, I closed my eyes and hung my face powerlessly and said, “Fu Jun Yan, I’m sorry“

And he smiled and shook his head at me. He said, “Foolish child.” Then I watched him close the door for me and turned away in silence.

The next day, Fu Jun Yan made two glasses of milk as usual. When I put down the empty glass and smacked my mouth with satisfaction, I saw An’an holding the bottle in her arms and never drinking.

I said, “What’s wrong with An’an? It’s hot?” Reaching out to reach his bottle.

But Gu Xiao An shook his head, held the bottle and shrunk into the stool for a few minutes. He bowed his head and swallowed saliva at the pacifier, as if in a stalemate. He turned his head and choked red. He turned to Fu Jun Yan who was frying eggs and said, “Water, An’an, drink water!”

On the way to the studio, I looked at Gu Xiao An’s cautious way of holding a milk bottle, and looked up at Fu Jun Yan. My eyes were full of doubts. But he just shook his head. Like me, he wondered how this milk addict could bear to drink a mouthful today?

When Jay came to the set, I saw Gu Xiao An’s eyes jump out of a bit of happiness and a bit of shame. I really wonder when An’an became so familiar with Jay? Rubbed his eyes and thought he was wrong.

Then An’an saw Jay approaching, and sure enough, he got out of Fu Jun Yan’s arms. His small body hugged the baby bottle and threw himself on Xiao Qi’s body, with his little face buried in Xiao Qi’s ear and didn’t know what to say. His voice was very small, and I could only hear the warm voice of a child. The child’s expression was so solemn, which made the surrounding staff laugh.

And when An’an said a word, Xiao Qi let out a bark. The two little guys were so unhappy. I had already taken these two living treasures. Standing on the side, I spread out my hands helplessly and looked at Fu Jun Yan and smiled.

After chatting with the dog for a while, Gu Xiao An finally made a decision and ran to Jay’s legs. The little guy tugged at Jay’s trouser legs, raised his face and blinked at Jay with a pair of big eyes, his expression solemn and cute. However, he suddenly raised the baby bottle, which was like a treasure in his arms, to the highest level with his small hands, and shouted to Jay, “An’an give! Give it to you, Uncle hurts! An’an sorry!”

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The set suddenly calmed down because of the child’s milk voice. Jay looked at An’an at his feet, and I….

“Why are you crying again?” Fu Jun Yan touched my eyes warmly with her fingertips, and I realized that I was crying.

I bit my lips and looked at the sincere little boy. The bottom of my heart overturns seas and rivers (tl. overwhelming / earth-shattering / in a spectacular mess).

 Where is this little bean? How could there be? How could there be such a sensible child?

Brother Ting Yue also came to me from one side and patted me on the shoulder. The cold breath of his body lightened a lot. He didn’t work yesterday afternoon and wasn’t on the crew, but he should have heard more or less. He looked at Gu Xiao An standing at Jay’s feet stubbornly holding the bottle, sighed and said to me, “This child is pitiful.”

I nodded to him with a nasal hum. He turned to see Fu Jun Yan go over and hold Gu Xiao An high, helping him pass the bottle to Jay.

“Xiao Ai, how old are you?”

“Ah?” I was stunned. I didn’t expect that Fang Ting Yue  would suddenly ask me such a question. It took half a minute to answer: “Eighteen.” 

This year, I was only 18 years old, in the best youth of women.

I am an 18-year-old Gu Bǎobèi, not the 28 year old Gu Bǎobèi who suffered from love, drifted and had no home ten years later. I took another look at An’an and Fu Jun Yan holding the child. They were accidents after my rebirth, which disrupted the direction of too many stories that I should have had in my previous life. But I don’t feel sorry at all…