Even so, we are living in the present

Chapter 63 – 『　』

“… Your parents?”

Well, that’s not unreasonable.

At the sight of the envelope shown to him and the words uttered, Yuu’s expression tightened.

Yuu didn’t know how to react, and a self-deprecating smile slipped out of Kyosuke’s mouth.

Yuu thoroughly understood the Ichinose family’s circumstances. After all, for as long as he can remember, Kyosuke has been entrusted at his home each day. For Yuu, being together with him was enjoyable as well as a source of joy.

However, he gradually grew to have an insight as to why Kyosuke constantly spent the day at his place by the time he reached his adolescent phase, even if he did not grasp it during his childhood. In retrospect, that understanding may have been spot on.

Staring at Kyosuke’s expression, which failed to disguise his bitterness, Yuu slowly approached him.

Kyosuke always seemed lonely.

When he reached Kyosuke’s side, he wrapped his arms around him without another word.

“… Kyosuke, don’t go anywhere.”

What sounded like a random appeal now hung heavily in Kyosuke’s mind.

“I’m not going.”

“…”

Despite his immediate response, Yuu pressed his forehead against his neck in a hug as if to say he was unconvinced.

“Because… Kyosuke… you have gone off somewhere before without saying anything…”

The small voice gradually quivered as the end of his words began to trail off.

“… Ah… yeah…”

He could not deny it.

Back in elementary school, he was abruptly taken to America for his parents’ convenience.

Even the Sonohara family, who had been looking after him constantly, had not been notified, and Kyosuke was forcibly sent to a foreign country on a plane.

Although three months may seem like a fleeting time, for Yuu, who felt that Kyosuke had disappeared without any prior notice, the time was far too long.

“… I’ve missed you so much…”

Kyosuke’s eardrums were struck with a painful tremor when Yuu sent a fading plea while suppressing his emotions.

It was through hearing the news from his class teacher at the time that Yuu learned of Kyosuke’s departure to the United States.

At that time, the impact and sense of despair he experienced were immeasurable.

“You have gone off somewhere before without saying anything.”

It was not surprising that Yuu felt that way.

Without being able to offer any words, Kyosuke could only hug the person to whom he was embracing tightly. Filled with a mixture of apology to his partner and fury directed at his parents, Kyosuke furrowed his brow and gnashed his rear teeth.

Kyosuke knew nothing about his parents.

His father worked as a day trader and his mother was a fashion designer. Those were the only things he knew about them. His parents had consistently neglected him, citing their jobs as the reason for their absence.

As a child, he was cared for at Yuu’s house, and once he became independent, they would simply provide him with money. This was the norm, thus leaving Kyosuke deprived of the love and affection of his parents. When Kyosuke reached high school age, his parents moved to the United States with no communication to him. Each month, a fixed amount of money was deposited into a fixed account.

“If you have the money, you can afford the expenses, right?”

That was what they said.

Since then, the Sonohara family had been imparting to him practically all of his education, which had been taught by his parents up to the age of three.

Even though Kyosuke felt as if he was being subjected to negligence, his parents kept in touch with the Sonohara family and showed up everyday to pick him up so that he would not be made to have that impression.

Furthermore, on the surface, they were extremely amicable and warm.

Parents that were quite benevolent in public.

But Kyosuke was aware of it.

He knew that he had grown to be an obstacle in the way of their work.

His father, who was always at the computer, and his mother, who was in constant contact with the external parties.

“It’s their job, so it can’t be helped.”

That was what Kyosuke reminded himself.

Therefore, upon encountering Kouki at the amusement park and learning of his situation, it struck him once more that he has never been the recipient of his parent’s intimate affection.

When he objectively regarded himself, it made him feel very pathetic, pitiful, and miserable.

Consequently, he decided to never complain.

The loneliness of not being loved by his parents has long since been forgotten.

An existence that was no more.

They no longer had any connection to him.

That was how he had been trying to live his life until now.

And so why bother with me now…

While tightening his embrace on Yuu, he crumpled up the envelope.

He wanted to throw it away as it was.

That was his sincere feeling.

However──

“… Kyosuke, let’s check it out together.”

The vulnerable tone of Yuu’s voice pressed Kyosuke’s feelings to a halt.

“… Ah, right…”

He can’t dismiss his partner’s words. Nodding, he softly brushed his lips to his forehead before heading to the couch together. After sitting down on the comfortable seat softly side by side, Kyosuke drew in a deep breath once before ripping it open half-heartedly and unsealing it.

“… Hmm?”

What was in it was a sheet of letter paper.

“Come to the formal marriage interview. She is a wealthy young lady. You will surely be fond of her right away. I showed her your picture and the proposal progressed accordingly. Hurry up.”

On the paper, that was all there was written.

It was most likely handwritten by his mother. She would say whatever she wanted, disregarding any of his circumstances.

Dropping his gaze to the words written on the paper, Kyosuke clicked his tongue.

Again with your selfishness…

He crumpled the letter into a squishy mess, considering throwing it away at this point.

“… It still has something in it.”

“Hmm?”

When he switched his gaze to Yuu’s reserved words, Yuu inserted his finger into the envelope and pulled something out.

If it’s a letter, I won’t read it.

That was what he thought, but he was wrong.

His beautiful white fingers withdrew a boarding pass to travel to the United States.

“…”

“Kyosuke…”

As Kyosuke was rendered speechless, Yuu’s anxious voice called out to him. Moreover, a small piece of paper landed on the floor.

“What is it?”

Convinced that this was not a good thing, he picked up the piece of paper and found his mother’s handwriting on it as well.

“The contract for the apartment is not up for renewal, so come quickly.”

Ah, I see…

Kyosuke dropped the letter and the piece of paper then leaned back helplessly against the sofa. He had considered himself a hindrance to their work, but apparently not ‘now’. When he can be useful, his parents will use him. As long as there was a value in using it, they would do so.

In short, here am I now, a “tool”.

Neither sorrow nor loneliness whatsoever.

A certain hollow sensation struck him as if there was a void in his heart.

It would have been better to be an “unwanted child.”

It was better to be left alone.

“… Haha.”

Staring at the ceiling, Kyosuke let out a dry laugh, while Yuu, who had been eyeing Kyosuke with anxiety, could only silently embrace him.