I Can’t Be This Protagonist

“Sign here, and the contract will become effective.”

Yan Shuang looked down with wide-rimmed glasses that covered most of his face. His plain clothes seemed out of place in the high-end restaurant compartment he was in. 

A pair of thin, pale hands emerged from beneath the table. They slowly reached up and took away the contract. “Can I have a moment to look it over again?”

His silver-rimmed glasses gleaming with metallic light, Wei Yichen replied coldly, “If you wish.”

Yan Shuang didn’t read a word of the densely packed terms and regulations on the contract. His eyes were firmly fixed on the title written on the very top.

–Master and Servant Contract.  

Yan Shuang: That’s pretty funny. 

“Apologies for the slight delay in data arrival.” The mechanical tones of the System sounded. “Time will be frozen as the contents of the plot are loaded. Loading is now 100% complete.”

The sounds of turning pages could be heard in Yan Shuang’s mind as the entire plot of the book washed over him like waves.

The story basically went like this–

Qin Yubai, a man who has a perverted, obsessive desire for his completely non blood related half-brother Qin Qing, accidentally discovered that Yan Shuang bore a striking resemblance to Qin Qing after taking off his glasses. And Yan Shuang, as a poor and naive university student, fell completely into Qin Yubai’s trap without even knowing it. He ended up owing a huge amount of money thanks to Qin Yubai’s schemes.

When Yan Shuang was trapped with his debt and had nowhere left to go, Qin Yubai put on a show and appeared in his time of need, using the master-servant contract to request Yan Shuang to be his servant for a year.

Yan Shuang had no choice but to agree to Qin Yubai’s request and signed the master-servant contract.

The main point of this master-servant contract was that Qin Yubai had complete, unequivocal control over Yan Shuang’s body and time. 

Thus, Qin Yubai [redacted] Yan Shuang in a hotel that very day in a scene that was very emotional and angsty.

Yan Shuang couldn’t help interrupting, “The plot of this book is way too archaic!”

System: “This plot was randomly generated.”

Yan Shuang: “…” Fine. Seems like retiring won’t be easy.  

They must’ve deliberately arranged for him an archaic book like this that’s been buried for who knew how long since he was about to retire. Shame on the Transmigration Bureau for being so stingy with pensions!

However, a mere taste of the past was far from enough to prevent him from retiring.

Consider it done!

Yan Shuang: “Continue.” 

After a period of time, Qin Yubai became dissatisfied with [redacted] Yan Shuang in a hotel. He brought Yan Shuang back to the Qin manor as a servant, making the white moonlight he could never obtain and his lover share a room.

Qin Yubai couldn’t quell his desire for Yan Shuang’s body, so the two of them shamelessly [redacted] in all sorts of locations across the Qin manor. Out of some perverted desire, Qin Yubai’s favourite place to [redacted] with Yan Shuang was actually Qin Qing’s art studio.

And this Yan Shuang’s physique settings were also quite evil. Basically, it hurt the first time, felt good the second time, and became an addiction the third time.

After having his boundaries crossed again and again as he lived with Qin Yubai, Yan Shuang couldn’t help but fall in love with this wealthy and domineering man. After the contract ended, he willingly became Qin Yubai’s secret lover. 

In Yan Shuang’s eyes, he and Qin Yubai’s HE was only one marriage license away.

But in Qin Yubai’s eyes, Yan Shuang was worth nothing at all.

One time, after he [redacted] it with Qin Yubai in Qin Qing’s art studio, Yan Shuang’s legs gave out and he fell onto the easel, crushing one of Qin Qing’s unfinished paintings.

Yan Shuang was very ashamed and apologetic. But before he could even apologize, Qin Yubai slapped him. 

Then Qin Yubai abruptly broke one of his hands.

Yan Shuang’s hand was so mercilessly broken by Qin Yubai, even when his body still bore fresh marks of the man’s love for him. He was even stripped naked and thrown into the ice-cold basement by the man, left to fend for himself.

After a series of humiliations by Qin Yubai, Yan Shuang finally learned the truth. He was just a substitute for Qin Qing.

Yan Shuang: Oh-ho? 

After this incident, Yan Shuang was driven out of the Qin manor and started living in a condo owned by Qin Yubai.

The following parts were suffused with all kinds of 18+ mental and physical abuse.

The turning point of the story happened when Yan Shuang ended up with a high fever of 40 degrees after a sadomasochism session in the rain.

Qin Yubai received a call from the manor while staying by Yan Shuang’s side. The butler told Qin Yubai that Qin Qing didn’t have much of an appetite tonight. He seemed to have a cold. 

After a momentary struggle, Qin Yubai chose to not go back and remained at Yan Shuang’s place. He also took the opportunity to enjoy Yan Shuang’s beautiful, fevered body.

The next day, Qin Yubai was hit by a sudden realization after waking up in Yan Shuang’s bed.

Yan Shuang only had a 40 degree fever, but Qin Qing might have a cold! He actually didn’t go home to see Qin Qing for the sake of a little substitute!

Ah, that wouldn’t do. Yan Shuang caused his pure love for Qin Qing to waver. He had to end his relationship with Yan Shuang! 

However, Qin Yubai was reluctant to do so.

Even he couldn’t tell if he was reluctant to part with Yan Shuang’s wonderful body or the man himself. In any case, the only one to get hurt during Qin Yubai’s internal struggle was Yan Shuang.

So the duo’s abusive relationship continued on for a while.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Ofjnlcu ybat bo atfw fztjerafv, wfcajiis jcv qtsrlmjiis. 

Pc atf fcv, Hlc Teyjl kjr jyif ab qeii tlwrfio yjmx yfobgf ojiilcu boo atf miloo. Lf vfilyfgjafis ibra Tjc Vtejcu lc j kjufg ab Al Tjb, rbwfbcf ktb tjr jikjsr yffc lcafgfrafv lc Tjc Vtejcu.

Mbg Tjc Vtejcu, tf pera kfca ogbw atf jgwr bo bcf rmew ubcu ab jcbatfg.

Ji Yao was interested in Yan Shuang for the same reasons as Qin Yubai.

Because Ji Yao– He also likes Qin Qing! 

Yan Shuang couldn’t help but ask at this point, “Can I apply to be Qin Qing?”

System: “There is only one missing character in this book. And there are too many transmigrations into white moonlights to begin with. This book is meant to be a Renaissance of sorts.”

Yan Shuang: “…Fine, go on.”

Compared to Qin Yubai, Ji Yao was even better at playing the game. 

He wasn’t satisfied with taking Yan Shuang as a substitute only physically, he needed the curtains to match the drapes.

Since Qin Qing was a painter, he made Yan Shuang give up his literature major and transfer to the Department of Fine Arts.

Since Qin Qing could play the piano, he made Yan Shuang practice piano day and night.

Basically, Yan Shuang had to be able to do everything Qin Qing could. 

Like he wanted to forge Yan Shuang into the perfect substitute.

And as Yan Shuang became more and more like Qin Qing, Ji Yao’s attitude towards him also became better and better. This caused Yan Shuang to subconsciously fall prey to a little delusion.

Was this person ever so slowly falling for me? 

Of course, that– was impossible. 

Soon, cruel reality crushed Yan Shuang’s naive fantasy.

Qin Qing developed kidney failure.

At this point, Yan Shuang could probably guess where the story was headed.

The classic kidney digging! 

Yep, Ji Yao ordered Yan Shuang to donate a kidney to Qin Qing.

–If necessary, both of them.

As the holy mother type slag shou in this novel, Yan Shuang actually wanted voluntarily to donate a kidney to Qin Qing after learning that he was sick. But Ji Yao was afraid he either didn’t mean it, he didn’t want to, or he would become jealous of Qin Qing. He drugged Yan Shuang before sending him to the operating table.

This drove an irreconcilable wedge between the two of them. 

Yan Shuang paid a kidney as the price to end this abusive relationship.

Then, the surgeon who had operated on him and Qin Qing, Qi Feiyun, slowly got close to him.

Because while he was performing the operation…Qin Feiyun! Fell! In! Love! With! Qin Qing! At! First! Sight!!

Yan Shuang: I can’t even anymore.  

Of course Qi Feiyun was reluctant to touch such a fragile darling like Qin Qing.

Therefore, as a medical genius, Qi Feiyun brainwashed and hypnotized Yan Shuang while treating him. By the time Yan Shuang was discharged from his hospital, he had completely become Qi Feiyun’s doll with all his past memories wiped.

He would do anything Qi Feiyun asked of him.

Yan Shuang: ? 

Do surgeons have that sort of skill in their repertoire? 

Then, Qi Feiyun began to explore the limits of what being human was with Yan Shuang.

He never treated Yan Shuang as a human at all.

After all, Yan Shuang was nothing but a substitute for Qin Qing to him. 

Finally, at this time, scum gong #4, who didn’t love the white moonlight, appeared– He was Qi Feiyun’s neighbour, Sheng Guangming. Like his name suggested, Sheng Guanming was a righteous man. He saw what was happening to Yan Shuang and quietly rescued him while Qi Feiyun was out.

Sheng Guangming was your typical good person person. He used his soft warmth to heal Yan Shuang, and the amnesiac Yan Shuang in turn slowly fell for Sheng Guangming.

Sheng Guangming was straight at the beginning, but after bumping into a protagonist shou like Yan Shuang, he was unsurprisingly captivated by Yan Shuang’s beauty as time went on. The two of them fell in love with each other and lived a happy life for a while with plenty of papapa.

Just as Yan Shuang thought he could finally have his HE, Qin Yubai and Ji Yao somehow turned up at their doorstep. After Sheng Guangming found out that Yan Shuang had been ‘kept’ by the two men on the eve of their wedding, he had a mental breakdown. 

Yan Shuang was too unclean to be with him.

So Sheng Guangming abandoned him too. After repeatedly being stimulated like this, Yan Shuang finally remembered everything and had a mental breakdown as well. In despair, he decided he didn’t care anymore and went to get drunk at a bar. He was so dirty anyway so he might as well have fun.

In the end, Qin Yubai’s butler Wei Yichen jumped out to pick up the slack.

Wei Yichen, who had been a silent observer this whole time, ‘didn’t mind Yan Shuang’s complicated past’. He was willing to give Yan Shuang a home, as long as Yan Shuang fulfilled a small request of his– donating his corneas to Qin Qing, who was about to lose his sight. 

Yan Shuang: “Can I…”

System: “No.”

Fine then. 

Fearing that Yan Shuang would decline and to up the ante, Wei Yichen also revealed a shocking secret! 

–Yan Shuang was actually Qin Qing’s long-lost, blood-related little brother!!

Yan Shuang: “…” Of course that’s the case. 

In order to save his ‘poor’ big brother, the kind-natured Yan Shuang donated his corneas without hesitation.

Qi Feiyun was, once again, the person doing the operation. 

Yan Shuang: …You know what.

He’s a medical genius. Don’t ask. 

And that’s how the book ends.

Yan Shuang, a blind man lacking a kidney, was discharged from the hospital. The person who came to pick him bowed his head and kissed him. He had a familiar scent about him, but Yan Shuang could no longer tell who it was. 

Yan Shuang was rendered speechless at how this super duper abusive scum gong novel actually had an open-ended ending.

He took a deep breath after going through the entire plot. “It’s fine as long as I reach the ending, right?”

System: “Yes. The completion of all relationship plotlines and achieving the original ending will be considered completion of the book.”

Yan Shuang: “How many OOC points did I save?” 

System: “0.5 points.”

If you failed the retirement world, you would have to start from scratch with the newcomers. Of course, all the pension you have accumulated thus far would also be confiscated.

In the previous worlds he’s transmigrated into, Yan Shuang had always 100% completed his task no matter how demanding his role was. He endured hardship after hardship because his seniors said the difficulty of the retirement world was off the charts. If you didn’t have a bit of OOC point saved up, it was near impossible.

The seniors were exactly right. The retirement world really was disgustingly difficult. 

“Use them.”

“Alright. Employee, you may modify one of the character’s tags.”

Yan Shuang’s five personality tags appeared before him– Poor, kind, soft, stubborn and studious.

He could only change one word. 

Each of the five tags had their own disgusting connotations.

But one of these Yan Shuang hated with a passion.

“Change poor to…” Yan Shuang deliberated for a moment, “Poor breasts.”

System: “…The fixed attributes of the character cannot be changed.” 

Damn it, is the Transmigration Bureau really this poor?! 

Every time. Every single time, his character has the attribute of poverty!

Fine then. Since he can’t change being poor, Yan Shuang could only turn his sights to the second attribute that would hinder him from grinding the plot.

“Change kind to…” 

“Employee, this is a secondary fixed attribute which can only be modified to a limited degree. You may modify the original characters by no more than three strokes.”

Yan Shuang; “…” The Transmigration Bureau is a bastard, right? Right? 

He worked so hard to save up 0.5 points, but what’s with all these restrictions? What was he supposed to do within three strokes? Was this an elementary school Chinese exercise??

However, this problem wasn’t enough to stop Yan Shuang, who was dedicated to retiring. 

After repeated contemplation, he said, “Add a water radical beside kind.”

System: “…Acknowledged. The character tag ‘kind’ has been changed to ‘resilient’.

After using up his OOC points, Yan Shuang’s character attributes were changed to: Poor, resilient, soft, stubborn and studious.

Yan Shuang: I guess that’ll do.  

Yan Shang confirmed with the System: “Is there a time limit to achieve the ending?”

System: “No. However, the [redacted] plot mentioned in the mainline plot with each of the protagonists is an integral part of the book. It will directly count towards plot points.”

Yan Shuang: “How many?”

System: “Converted to the day: Qin Yubai 66, Ji Yao 92, Qi Feiyun 108, Sheng Guangming 52, Wei Yichen 7.” 

Ying Shuang: “By day you mean…”

System: “…Days as in the unit of time.”

Yan Shuang: “Gotcha.”

System: “Employee, you are reminded that grinding the [redacted] plot of two people at the same time is illegal.” 

“I know. What about the other plot lines and relationship plot lines? Any requirements?”

“No.”

“Then can I grind them together?”

The System was silent for a while. “Employee, you may try.” 

There was somehow a mocking tone to the mechanical voice, as if it was implying: you’ll die if you try.

Yan Shuang didn’t take it to heart. “Then let’s do it… Oh, right. Can pain shielding be used here?”

System: “It can be used, but the auxiliary performance function will also be turned off.”

In other words, you can turn off your sense of pain, but any problems you caused with the plot line by not acting as in pain as you should when you should were your problems. 

Yan Shuang: “Activate it then.”

Something like acting was not challenging at all for him. With so many physically abusive acts in the game and a lot of organ work, how was he supposed to get by without turning off his sense of pain?

“One last question. Does the money collected in this world count towards the pension?”

“Of course.” 

“Okay, that’s all from me. Let’s get started.”

“Starting Employee Yan Shuang’s retirement world. Employee, if you need to end the world, please feel free to contact this system any time. Wishing you all the best.”

As the mechanical voice disappeared, time in the book began to flow once more.

“Is there anything else you don’t understand?” Wei Yichen asked coldly. 

Yan Shuang flipped through the contract, skimming over all the rules. His eyes paused for a moment on the monetary compensation of ‘$1 million’.

That’s it? 

How many fucking years ago was this book written, ah?! 

Haven’t the sums in CEO novels already risen with inflation to hundreds of millions of dollars a long time ago??  

This must be the Transmigration Bureau’s dirty work again!

Wei Yichen noticed his gaze. “One million is enough to pay off your debt.”

Wei Yichen sneered at the cowardly boy who sold himself for such a measly sum. He didn’t feel any goodwill towards him. “People need to know their worth. You fetching this price is already being generous. Don’t be too greedy.”

Yan Shuang reached up. Taking off his glasses, he also slowly raised his head. Inky black hair scattered from his forehead, revealing an extremely stunning face. 

Snow-white skin, docile deer-like eyes, small nose bridge, slightly raised nose tip, connected by a ridge with plump and bright red lips…

An almost fantastical level of beauty rushed forward.

Wei Yichen’s pupils shrank slightly.

The resemblance really was striking. For an instant, he thought the one seated before him was Qin Qing. 

So it was like this! No wonder Qin Yubai concocted countless schemes to bury an ordinary university student with a million dollar debt.

Such a face was worth far more than a million!

“Mr. Wei,” Yan Shuang pursed his lips and said coldly, “Since I’m here to sell, I’ll sell to the highest bidder.”

Wei Yichen’s eyes were fixed on the face that was disconcertingly similar to Qin Qing’s. 

“Please pass on a message to Mr. Qin.”

“One million is not enough.”

“Of course,” Yan Shuang put on his glasses, becoming a dull, stereotypical poor university student again. “Maybe Mr. Wei can afford me if you bite the bullet…”

Red lips curled up slightly. His smile was clean, but there was a clear challenge in his eyes. “…For one night, that is.” 

[Wei Yichen’s relationship plot line has been opened. Progress: 0%]

Hey guys! To celebrate the beginning of a new year, I’m going to do daily updates for the first week. Then we’ll switch to twice weekly updates (TBD).

I’ve added some ongoing content warnings on the CG novel page. There’s also a spoiler from the author if you’d like to check it out.

Happy Holidays!