I Just Crave for Your Pheromones

Mu Hanfeng's hand around Tong Che's back paused slightly, he pulled back slightly, and looked down into Tong Che's eyes, "Is it okay?"

Tong Che's eyes were still wet, and he instinctively didn't want Mu Hanfeng to see them. He lowered his eyelashes and blinked rapidly, and was about to nod and say, "Of course," but before he could open his mouth, Mu Hanfeng said, "If you don't want to talk about it now, you don't have to. I’m not in a hurry. I will always be there to listen."

He nodded and shook his head again, saying in a small voice, "I'm willing to tell you now."

Mu Hanfeng was stunned for a moment, and soon his eyes became softer. He gently touched the scar on Tong Che's wrist again, and said seriously, "Okay, I will listen."

"Actually my family... is not complicated," Tong Che organized his words and started, "In a word, it's my...their idea of valuing A over O is still deep-rooted. "

He probably originally wanted to say "my parents", but later changed it to "their".

After all, in Tong Che's mind, he had already disowned these parents.

"The two of them were also the most common AO union," Tong Che said in a light tone, slowly going on, "working in the same company, both of them ordinary employees, but still had some so-called ambitions in their hearts."

"Except," Tong Che's words turned, a moment of mockery passed under his eyes, and his tone was two shades colder, " their ambitions were not for themselves, but they wanted to inflict them on their children."

Tong Che's father, Tong Ning, had always wanted to pursue a career as an official all his life.

Tong Che's mother, Sun Yi, on the other hand, felt that she could start her own business as a big boss and that money was king.

Tong Ning attributed his failure to become an official to bad luck, while Sun Yi felt that she was an Omega and that was why she could not become a big boss.

Both of them did not look at themselves to find the reasons, and never thought about whether they are fundamentally incapable.

After failing to realise their own ambitions, they blamed external conditions and shifted their "hope" to their children.

Both Tong Ning and Sun Yi wanted to have an Alpha.

In today's society, although ABOs have had their rights equalized for many years, each, however, had their own strengths. In the political and business world, there are still mostly Alphas. On the contrary, in the art world, Omegas were the majority.

And for people like Tong Ning and Sun Yi, even if there were many talents in the art world, they were not worth their eyes.

Tong Che was born when the two of them were full of "expectations".

Today's medical tecjnology was so advanced that it was not necessary to wait for differentiation to determine the gender, but rather it could be predicted at full term, with very little error.

Originally, this technology was developed to allow parents to understand their children earlier, so that they could give them a more compatible education as they grew up.

But being used by people like Tong Ning and Sun Yi, it gave them the opportunity to have a second child as soon as possible.

Why do they want to have a second child as soon as possible?

Of course it was because the first child, Tong Che, would later differentiate into a "useless" Omega.

"What a ridiculous thought!" Mu Hanfeng was so angry that the veins on his forehead were popping out. He hugged Tong Che tightly and said seriously, "Tong Tong, you must not listen to their nonsense. You are very powerful, more powerful than most people."

His Tong Che, who composed his own lyrics, sang and danced, acted and drew, was such a great all-rounder, yet he was still described as "useless"

As for not being able to do business? That only means that Tong Che was not interested in this.

In Mu Hanfeng's opinion, his little boyfriend was the best in the universe, no rebuttal accepted!

Tong Che showed a little dimple. Probably because Mu Hanfeng was there, the past that he once thought he would never be able to tell was now easy to tell.

Not only did he speak out, but it seemed that his emotions were no longer affected.

He was even able to amuse Mu Hanfeng in turn, his ears turning red as he whispered, "I...I also think I'm very good. I could find a boyfriend as good as Teacher Mu."

Mu Hanfeng was stunned and his anger instantly dispersed. He only felt the tip of his heart sour and go soft. He gently touched the scar on Tong Che's wrist, and he couldn't help but feel a little bit of fear in his heart.

Fortunately… fortunately, Tong Che persevered, and fortunately Tong Che did not give up so early.

Otherwise, he would not have had the chance to meet such a good, good little cat.

Tong Che leaned back into Mu Hanfeng's arms again and continued to speak, “My brother is two years younger than me, and as they wished, he was born with a much stronger physique than me. After the test, it was 99.9 percent. It meant he would differentiate into Alpha when he grows up."

Two years old was too young for Tong Che to remember much, even when his brother was born, he actually didn't have a deep impression.

What Tong Che can recall of his childhood can probably be traced back from the age of four and beyond.

And from the moment he had memories, all images of family-related events were not happy.

There were too many unhappy ones, and Tong Che had no intention of recalling them one by one, let alone telling them all to Mu Hanfeng, which would cause him heartache. So he only picked one or two at random.

"I seemed to have just turned six years old at the time," Tong Che recalled. "I was about to enter the first grade of elementary school. At that time, the two of them were going on a business trip to the suburbs of Yangcheng City for a week. They didn't want to take me with me, but after all, I was too young. They were afraid that I might starve to death so, they took me with them."

There was one more thing that Tong Che didn't say -

It was the first time in his life that they had ever travelled as a family of four, and certainly the only time.

From the time his younger brother was only half a year old, Tong Ning and Sun Yi would take him out to travel whenever they went out on vacation.

He, on the other hand, was simply left in the care of a neighbour.

Only that time when he was six, it happened to be summer vacation, and the neighbours were all out on a trip too. So no one was around to watch him.

At only six years old, little Tong Che was still very simple-minded and was happy to be taken by his mum and dad on the rare occasion.

Looking back now, there was nothing to be happy about from that whole trip.

Tong Che skipped this part without talking about it, he only said, "That day on the road, we passed a big billboard, I can't remember which senior was on the ad at that time, I just remember that I looked at it and told them that I wanted to be like that person in the future, to be able to be a big star and have my picture reflected on the big sign too."

Anticipating the reaction that Tong Ning and Sun Yi would have, Mu Hanfeng's grip on Tong Che's hand subconsciously tightened.

Sure enough, he heard Tong Che laugh mockingly and then said, "Their reaction at that time was ridiculous. They didn't even try ti admonish me, they just gave me a look, at that time, I still couldn't understand but felt very uncomfortable, and said, "Sure enough, just like an Omega. "

That look, which Tong Che couldn't understand at the time, is still crystal clear when he thinks about it now.

It was outright mockery, ridicule, and even contempt.

Mu Hanfeng heard the anger leaping straight to his head, he closed his eyes and did his best to suppress it, picking up a lighter topic, "So Tong Che wanted to be a big star from early on."

Tong Che nodded and pursed his lips with some embarrassment, and after a long time, he smiled and said softly, "Actually, when I think about it now, it was a coincidence that they abandoned me because it gave me the chance to realise my dream."

Tong Che thought that if they had really raised him until he was eighteen and had grown up in that kind of environment, there was no guarantee that he would still have the same determination to go all out and do what he wants.

The thought that had been hovering in Mu Hanfeng's mind since he arrived at the orphanage was finally confirmed at this moment.

He felt a suffocation in his chest, and could hardly breathe. He clenched his hands tightly and slowly released them. Finally, he asked in a hoarse voice, "When did they...?"

Tong Che paused and replied softly, "When I was thirteen."

To be precise, it was the third day after his differentiation at the age of thirteen.

He was not at home at the time of his differentiation, and fell unconscious when something went wrong. He was then saved by some kind person, and found himself waking up in a hospital ward where there was no one else.

The kind samaritan who saved him was not there, much less his family.

He got himself out of bed and out of the ward. He was found by the doctor who insisted o another examination, which he was reluctant to do because he did not have the money to pay for it. Only to be told by the doctor that someone had already paid for all his medical treatment, including the examination.

In the past ten years, Tong Che had of course tried to find that person, but the world was too big. Just Yangcheng city had a population of tens of millions of people, and he didn't know anything except the words that person had said, so how could he find him?

The only thing he could probably do was to pass on the goodwill he had received.

The doctor examined him and told him that his body was basically healthy again, but the only problem was that he had a pheromone disorder.

The doctor told him that the condition could only be controlled with suppressants. Luckily, the good samaritan had charged a lot of money to his hospital card at that time, so the doctor prescribed the rest of the money to suppressants for him, which were enough to last about a year.

At that time, Tong Che, a teenager who had just differentiated, came home with a big bag of suppressants and learned that two whole days had passed since he ran away from home before he differentiated. On the way, he couldn't help but think what kind of a scene he would face back home.

He wondered if Tong Ning and Ye Yi would be anxious, if they would cry and laugh, or if they would scold him severely.

But then he thought about it and decided that a scolding was most likely, and the first two were probably the kind of treatment his brother would have received if he had been missing for two days.

But Tong Che did not expect that he would not even be scolded when he actually came home.

Tong Ning Ye Yi and his "good" brother, the three of them were all shocked to see him come back from outside.

For two days and two nights, they did not even know that Tong Che had been out.

They had already got used to their family of three, to the fact that Tong Che was a superfluous, air-like existence.

And the house was a mess, with suitcases of all sizes spread out on the floor, and a single word from Ye Yi decided where he would belong in the future.

Ye Yi and Tong Ning both had to transfer to live in Haicheng because of a job change. A month earlier, they had given notice and they had started to contact schools in Haicheng for Tong Che's younger brother’s transfer process.

Of course, it was also this time that they decided to completely give up on Tong Che and send him to an orphanage.

Even now, Tong Che still remembers the last words Ye Yi said to him at the entrance of the orphanage.

She said, "It's hard for mum and dad to earn money. So we have to save it and spend on the useful child."

At that time, Tong Che wanted to question her, "On what basis do you conclude that I am useless?!"

But in the end, he didn't utter a word, turned and ran into the building.

It was only three days feom the time he differentiated to the time he was sent to the orphanage. When Tong Che recalled this experience now, he felt that it was more dramatic than a drama script and it was also really heartbreaking.

It was so heartbreaking that he couldn't bear to tell Mu Hanfeng.

It was just like when Mu Hanfeng told him about his past at that time, there were also many sentences that carried over.

It was not that he was unwilling to open up his heart, but it was just that the past was gone, and telling it would only add to his boyfriend’s sadness.

Therefore, Tong Che skimmed over the fact that he had problems when he differentiated and was rescued. He also skimmed over the fact that he found out that they were already preparing to leave as soon as he got home, and only told Mu Hanfeng the result, "They shifted their family to go to Hai Cheng and..."

Tong Che paused for a moment before finally saying the last words, "Sent me here."

Mu Hanfeng noticed his use of the word, " their family."

Obviously, Tong Che had long ago cut himself out of that "family".

Mu Hanfeng took a deep breath, exhaling the suffocating air that had been bottled up in his heart, and hugged Tong Che even tighter, "Okay, you'll have me from now on."

His head was buried Mu Hanfeng's neck, breathing in the faint scent of the ocean on his body, and felt his heart and soul, which had been affected by the past, easing up again little by little.

It felt so good.

He met Mr. Mu and it all got better.

Having said that, what followed was much easier to say.

At that time, Tong Ning and Ye Yi left without leaving a single penny for little Tong Che.

Luckily, someone had donated a lot of money to the orphanage at that time, so he was barely able to get by on matters concerning suppressants for the next two years, until he was 16 years old.

But Tong Che was frugal and dared not use them once a week. He would usually judge according to his physical condition and endure as much as he could.

But this process of endurance was bound to be extremely painful.

Tong Che looked down again at his wrist that was covered in scars, skipping over the deepest one and pointing to other wounds that were shallow in comparison and would not be fatal, "These were all basically left at that time."

In order to endure the pain caused by estrus, he uses another more acute and extreme pain to cover it up and distract his attention.

Mu Hanfeng rubbed his fingertips over the scars, and his heart seemed to be squeezed.

He had seen Tong Che with his own eyes when he was in false heat, and knew how hard it would be without the suppressant.

But he didn’t expect that on top of that pain, there could be even more pain.

He imagined Tong Che, curled up in the corner of the balcony, so hot and weak from the heat, but still holding a knife and cutting his skin, forcing himself to stay awake and endure in such a cruel way.

Mu Hanfeng felt a heavy pungency rise in his throat again and was about to vomit blood.

But in the end, he just suppressed the blood in his throat and asked, "Can't it be cured?"

"Not too easy," Tong Che explained with a smile, "It's mainly because it took too long and the best time for nerve repair has been missed."

His hand had been beaten by Tong Ning when he was a child and he even fell ill.

Then he started cutting himself over and over again, cutting deeper and hurting his nerves.

Then later, when he started going out to work at 16, he never got the time to take it seriously.

It was only when he started working as a trainee at the age of 19, when life got a little better, that he thought about getting treatment, but it was already too late.

Seeing that Mu Hanfeng was quiet and his expression was dark and unclear, Tong Che loosened his tone to coax him, "In fact, it’s not a problem now. It’s just that I can't eat with it, can't lift my shoulder or lift with my left hand. I'm just a lot more delicate. However, don't I have you here?"

Mu Hanfeng knew that Tong Che was trying to relax him, so he restrained his expression, sighed helplessly and responded, "Well, if you're delicate, you're delicate, and your boyfriend will pamper you."

But even though he said that, Mu Hanfeng still made a note to let Yun Su find the best neurologist tonight, and by the way….

Mu Hanfeng lowered his eyelashes, and by the way, he also had to inquire about how Tong Che's pair of so-called parents and younger brother were doing now.

When he heard Mu Hanfeng say this, Tong Che obviously relaxed a lot and burrowed into his arms again. But he remembered something. He turned his head and suddenly bent down to look carefully at the base of the wall next to him.

Mu Hanfeng noticed and asked him, "What's wrong? What are you looking for?"

Tong Che was a little embarrassed and straightened up after taking a look, explaining, "I used to carve words here before, but I just remembered that the place was repainted a few years ago, so now it's no longer visible."

Mu Hanfeng thought for a moment and suddenly said, "Do you still want to carve them now?"

Tong Che froze, his ears flushed red, but he still nodded honestly.

He had read in a book back then that said if you carved your wishes on the wall, they would come true.

He was in his youth and had only read that poem, so what he carved was -

“I want to see the sea and I wanted to meet my beloved.”

Now, it had come true, and perhaps there will be a chance to see the sea with his beloved later.

Knowing full well that the book was just for making people to feel better, Tong Che was still a bit stubborn and wanted to carve his heart's desire once more.

So he took out the folding knife that Xiao Qe had surrendered earlier, bent over and carved a new wish on the corner of the wall, stroke by stroke -

“I want to have a home with Mr. Mu.”

After carving, he turned his head to look at Mu Hanfeng, his lips moved, but he didn't know what to say.

Mu Hanfeng didn't say anything either, but just reached over and took the knife in his hand. Underneath the small line of characters, he carved four words with a look of concentration and seriousness--

“I will definitely do it.”

“It is a wish, and also a promise.”