I Loved You In Order To Survive

He already knew the answer. 

He just wanted Lily to confirm it with her own mouth.

The slowness of her reply made it seem like she had no intention of telling a foolish lie. Giles waited patiently for her. 

He had nothing but time.

“From the beginning… Did you know everything?”

“Answer me. Is that your real name?”

“If I admit it, will you kill me?”

She seemed resigned. Lily was staring at the pistol hanging from Giles’ waist.

“That is not my decision. Our leader will decide on how to dispose of you.”

“I didn’t think that this would happen in my lifetime.”

Lily muttered to herself. She was so thin and ungainly that he couldn’t tell if he was interrogating a noblewoman or a vagabond.

“I’ve never been treated as an aristocrat. I thought I’d live like that until the end. Only at the end of my life do I see people treating me equally. Better than starving to death in loneliness.”

Giles sensed unfamiliarity in Lily’s reaction. All the aristocrats he arrested were evil and tried to maintain their pride to the end. As if to show that the lineage of nobles was something special.

Of course, all of them begged for mercy, but Lily was the first to accept death so meekly and without resistance.

“I interrogated the maids who worked here, and they told me a few things.”

“You mean my story?”

“I heard you know how to play the piano.”

“It is true.”

“Did you play the piano in the next room?”

“That… I could only use it when we had guests, and I usually played smaller pieces.”

“Your family members were also interrogated.”

Lily wasn’t sad nor surprised. Giles was also unsurprised by her reaction. One minute of her story was enough to tell that Lily wasn’t happy here at all.

“Is it true that they tried to starve you to death?”

“Yes. It’s true. As you can see, they failed.”

“…How long has it been since you had proper food?”

“There’s no point in telling you. I’m going to die anyway.”

Tears rolled down Lily’s cheeks. After looking at her for a moment, Giles called out for his men.

It wasn’t long before men’s footsteps echoed through the empty hall. 

Wibner, the nearest subordinate, appeared.

Wibner asked out loud as soon as he saw Lily.

“Who the hell is this woman?”

Lily looked at Giles with wet blue eyes.

“She’s just a nomad. I found her lurking in the house.” 

“What made you break into this place? I searched all over, but all that’s left is dust and dead rats.”

“Looks like she needs a place to sleep. Wibner, do you have any food?”

“Food?”

He shrugged his shoulders and replied.

“There is oat bread.”

“Bring it.”

“But that’s my lunch.”

“I’ll give you money so you can buy something else. Can’t you see this woman’s face? She is starving, on the verge of death.”

“Why don’t we put her in the car and take her with us?”

“Wibner, bring it.”

He went back without further reply. Soon after, the rest of his subordinates arrived, and they asked the same question as Wibner.

“Was there anything special?”

“Yes, our comrades took it all and left. Is this woman a nomad?

“It’s as you say. She was sleeping in an instrument case because there was no furniture.”

“Oh my. Are we going to take her?”

“She won’t listen. For now, it’s best to leave her here.”

“But if she stays here, she will starve again!”

“So will you forcibly drag someone who doesn’t want to go?”

“If necessary, I will, but…”

“She is a woman who has nothing to do with our mission. A nomad must maintain a nomad’s life.”

His subordinates no longer disagreed. As they wandered through various regions, they encountered nomads from time to time. Contrary to their assumptions, nomads did not show much interest in the city.

They had to catch nobles, not rescue outcasts.

“The inspection is over. Go back to the car and wait. I will be there soon.”

“All right.”

The sound of footsteps receded. Again, only the two of them were left in the narrow space.

Giles handed over the oat bread his men had given him. Lily seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then she snatched the bread from his hands.

With her black hair messily undone, she hurriedly ate the bread, no different from a vagabond. Even if she said that she was once an aristocrat, no one would believe it until they saw concrete proof.

Meanwhile, confusion crept into Giles’ mind as he observed Lily.

Giles just saved Lily.

Even knowing who she was, he lied to his men that she was just a nomad.

He was the one who tortured Beldam nobles more viciously than anyone else. He never made an exception. Men and women, even boys and girls.

And Giles had always looked straight into their terrified eyes.

There was no space for sympathy or pity. They were nobles from Beldam that Ipswin hated, and they deservedly disappeared from this land. It was Giles’ job to help with that.

Then he lied for the youngest daughter of an aristocrat and even took food from his men.

It was something he couldn’t understand himself.

Could it be because of the content of the interrogation?

Was it because the interrogation revealed that she was a poor woman who had suffered terrible abuse? 

Was that why belated sympathy arose, and he didn’t want to kill this woman?

Lily looked miserable. 

But even so, she didn’t particularly move him or make him feel special.

Then why? 

It was not too late. Even now, he could grab Lily, put her in the car, and throw her in a prison cell.

But he didn’t feel like it. 

He didn’t want to.

He wanted to save Lily…

It felt as if the power that had kept him moving had ceased. He could no longer feel the passion. Like a steam locomotive that had run out of fuel, he just stopped and walked away.

Arresting Lily seemed pointless.

She gobbled up the bread that was the size of her face in an instant. It wasn’t perfect, but it seemed to satisfy her hunger to some extent. Her face looked more comfortable.

His men were right. Today she was lucky enough to eat a large piece of bread, but tomorrow she would starve again. He didn’t think she would last long.

There was no possibility that the young lady, who had been raised only in this mansion, would survive the rough life of an outcast.

Apparently, he seemed to be thinking the same thing as Lily.

“Why didn’t you tell the truth?”

Giles couldn’t answer that question.

Instead, he responded with another question.

“Have you played the piano lately?”

Lily shook her head. The piano was an object of no use for survival, as evidenced by the Revolutionary Army leaving the piano. Playing musical instruments and appreciating art was only possible on a full stomach.

“Do you want to hear me play?”

She braced herself against the wall and pulled herself up. The white dress came down to her calves and somewhat covered her thin body.

“You gave me food, so I can give you that much in return. And because you saved me… all I can do is play the piano anyway.”

Before Giles could react, Lily went into the room where the piano was. Her gait was so weak that it looked like she was a ghost.

Giles slowly followed her out. Lily was sitting on the piano stool, looking down at the keyboard. It was clear she hadn’t played the piano for a long time from her awkward movements.

Sunlight streamed in from the window and poured over Lily’s body. She looked quite different than she did when she was crouching in the dark. Dust floated in the air. Her two hands, glowing in the light, pressed the keys.

The empty and lonely space was filled with rich scales. A majestic, slow melody consumed him. Her ten fingers, which had desperately gripped the oat bread moments before, emitted colorful notes.

The voice of the instrument, which had been low as if announcing the beginning, soon created a lyrical melody. Calm and beautiful, but not simple. It was a nocturne song that only musicians who had been professionally educated and trained could play.

Giles stood nearby, watching Lily as she skillfully played the piano. She was an amazing pianist. The large abandoned house quickly turned into a performance space for her.

Lily, in his eyes, no longer looked like a nomad. 

She didn’t even look like the youngest daughter of a Beldam noble.

She was a pianist whom he met by chance. Without ever revealing her true worth, she was destined to die alone, but when she met him, she was able to breathe life into both herself and her music…

The pianist he saved.

If Giles hadn’t found her, no, had he decided to drag her out, Lily’s nocturne would have been erased from the world forever, unplayed.

Although it was done on impulse, Giles was happy now. He was glad Lily survived. 

Screams, cries, bloodstains… 

Giles had been living in those things all along. Infantile feelings of old were revived in his dull and emotionless heart.

After struggling to survive, he finally felt like he had done something worthwhile. The fact that Lily and her music survived. 

He thought that was enough.

It was the first thing he did not by order but by will.

At the end of days, as dark as an abyss, he found a ray of light.

He fell in love with Lily’s music.