I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?

Since the original story was nothing special, it was easy to recall the approximate contents instead of remembering the names of the characters.

And once I rehashed the rough plot, not only the monsters, but also the things I had thought were strange lined up in my head again.

Ian, Jacob. And monsters.

Ian and the monster, who did not appear in the original story, and Jacob, who appeared in the original story, but appeared at a different time.

The things I questioned every time they appeared.

Of course, since I was in the original story from the beginning, it might be natural for these things to happen.

However, that means that these things are happening because of me turning things around and causing differences from the original story.

“What is it? What.”

I blinked my eyes slowly.

My mood sank in an instant.

I don’t know what changes brought about this result, but it was an unchanging fact that this happened because I changed the original story.

Haa.

I sighed heavily and stretched out both hands to lightly press down on my face.

If I had been calm, if I had shut up and followed the story, I would have been able to end everything by dying alone.

I’ve been messing up things for nothing and creating a dangerous situation.

Anyway, useless.

Sleep was completely gone. Even though I couldn’t sleep, I was sleepy, but even that feeling had completely disappeared.

The only things filling my head right now were the things that happened after I came to this world.

First of all, I apologized to Brother. I pushed his engagement to Princess Ariel and broke off relations with Mia.

I went out to the square to help the kid, and when I came out with Aiden, I even jumped off the tower. After that, Ian came to my house, Jacob was ahead of the time and approached me, and I pressed Aiden to become a wizard.

What has changed so much? I only have memories of a life getting dragged around……. No, that wasn’t the point right now. Among these many incidents, it is important that there is something that caused the monsters to appear.

However, even though I thought long about it, I couldn’t guess the cause at all. At first glance, nothing seemed to have anything to do with monsters……. It wasn’t a quiz where I could guess what I didn’t know.

As I was full of worries, the sun rose. I sat alone on the bed with the blanket askew, watching the sunlight filtering through the curtains.

“I don’t know anymore.”

Even if I try to think……. I don’t know.

In the end, unable to come to any conclusion, the day with confusion began.

“Miss!”

Before full daylight, I pretended to be asleep in case someone came to my room to wake me. I was able to take pride in showing the best performance since I had played a person with amnesia.

“Oh, did you not sleep? You look tired.”

It didn’t make the cut for others.

I waved my hand at the worried Jane with her wide eyes and sat up. Looking in the mirror in front of the dressing table, it was clear that the color of my face was not good.

Oh no……. I couldn’t even bring up asking my family to go out to play today.

I wasn’t the sort of person who would tell others to go out with me because my complexion wasn’t good. If I say let’s go out, no one will because they are worried about me.

I was so excited in the carriage yesterday that I made a plan, but it’s so pitiful that this had happened.
“Jane.”

“Yes, Miss.”

When I called her while looking blankly in the mirror, Jane approached me with a worried expression still on her face.

“I need to put on makeup today. Brightly.”

***

Accompanied by the sound of rattling cutlery, my family only glanced at me.

I wanted to talk about going out together, but it seemed I couldn’t even open my mouth out of anxiety. Hey, it’s already been four months since I became Selena, but I still haven’t gone out to play with my family……. Everyone is so timid in this matter.

I looked over at the family members who couldn’t speak and chewed on the salad casually.

But, the child must be raised to be strong. If other people always tell you what to say, eventually you won’t even be able to open your mouth.

Well, it’s my family, they’re only timid for me.

“You see, Selena. The whole family decided not to attend the ball today.”

Brother was the first to summon up courage. He rushed his comment with a nervous face.

I let out a small exclamation and nodded my head, as if I knew nothing.

Brother must have gathered more courage as I actively listened, and he continued naturally……No, he continued with a slightly awkward smile.

“So we were thinking of going on a picnic together to the lakeside in the capital…….How about that?”

For an instant, all sounds in the dining room stopped.

This was because even my parents, who mechanically moved their bodies to look at me, stopped moving.

I stopped moving my hands in line with the trend of the current dining table, rolled my eyes and looked at my family, and finally stopped and looked at Brother again.

“Good.”

“Oh my.”

An indisputable joy emanated from Mother. The exclamation that jumped out was not of Mother’s will, but the way she covered her mouth with both hands in surprise was very lovely.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a picnic. Yes, Selena. Do you have anything you want to eat? I’ll have the chef prepare it for you.”

“Yes, Selena. Oh, and do you need anything? If there is anything to bring, Brother will take care of it.”

Perhaps the silent atmosphere earlier was never there, as evidenced by the fact the excited family members began to chatter non-stop with smiles of joy on their lips.

No, this isn’t some kind of kindergarten picnic……Does this mean that they were so devoted to a picnic with their soon-to-be 20-year-old daughter?

Well, but this exhilaration wasn’t bad, and the family seemed to be enjoying it, so I answered every question.

A picnic lunch is a sandwich with cheese and meat.

All I needed was a small drawing book and a pencil in case I wanted to sketch the lakeside.

However, when I replied that I had already brought the things and there was no need to take care of it, Brother immediately showed a sad expression.

The gazes directed at me intertwined with each other in a noisy atmosphere. Smile at this person, then burst into laughter at that person.

The scenery in the carriage Lucas talked about yesterday must have been exactly like this.

I must have made plans for the day just as I had imagined, in an atmosphere that was just as exciting.

Maybe it was because the atmosphere was so heated, even my heart started beating fast. Heart beating and chattering noises.

There really wasn’t anything I didn’t want to hear.

Okay, let’s cancel our thoughts last night.

To be exact……. I decided to fix ‘If I had been calm, if I had shut up and followed the story, I would have been able to end everything by dying alone. I’ve been messing up things for nothing and creating a dangerous situation.’

If I had behaved like the old original story, my family wouldn’t have been so excited to see me. They would have continued carefully and riskily showing their affection.

Also, Brother who was smiling so happily right now wouldn’t have been able to get engaged to Princess Ariel.

I know how much the two love each other. Without who loves more, who loves less only loving each other fairly or overflowing.

The reason they broke up in the first place was Selena…… According to the original story, Lucas would be next to Princess Ariel, and Brother would have become a lonely supporting character.

I felt sorry for Lucas, who has been pushed out of the lead role, but it wasn’t that bad.

So, even though the situation was a little different, in many ways it was better now.

Yes, if somehow I determine what changes brought about this reality……everything ended up good in the end?

I was lost in my thoughts, but in the quiet atmosphere, when the excited conversation between my family had ended, Father spoke to me.

“Then, let’s depart at 12 o’clock. You don’t know how beautiful Lake Lysen in the capital is. I really wanted to show it to you, Selena, so I’m glad we get to go like this.”

Father’s higher-than-usual voice told me how happy he was.

That’s right, such a pleasant face, let’s not regret it after all.

Great job, Selena. Great job, me.

The family finished their meal in a lively atmosphere and went back to their rooms to prepare for the picnic.

Oddly enough, my steps seemed lighter than usual.

After watching my family disperse, I belatedly headed to my room. Unlike my family’s steps, which seemed infinitely light, my legs to the room were very strong.

It was because the accumulated tiredness from yesterday clung to both ankles.

So, this is why sleep is so important. After reviewing the importance of sleep again, I returned to my room and picked out my clothes.

Not me, but Jane.

I roughly nodded at the green dress Jane had picked out for me, and sat down on the bed.

Jane’s eyes are trustworthy.

For the rest of the day, I thought I should leave the preparations for going out to Jane and get some sleep. I didn’t have the confidence to go to a picnic in such a physical condition.

It wouldn’t be strange if my legs gave out while walking, and I fell.

As I was about to bury my face in the pillow, I remembered that I was wearing makeup and turned to face the ceiling.

“Are you going to sleep, Miss?”

“Yes……. Wake me in an hour.”

“Yes, Miss.”

Perhaps I looked extremely tired, Jane answered and quietly left the room.

A cool breeze blew through the crack in the window Jane had opened.

Oh, good. Bright, warm and cool feeling.

Unlike last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I closed my eyes and fell asleep shortly after.

I dreamed while taking a nap with my tired body. The dream from one day when I talked with Jane after going to the tower.

‘Jane, do you know how to be happy?’

Thinking about happiness, I decided to ask Jane how to do it. It was because Jane smiled like she was having fun no matter what she was doing.

Not the service worker smile that Aiden had before, but a genuinely happy smile.

‘How to be happy…… ? Well. I guess it’s hard to explain……. Oh, come to think of it, I think I heard somewhere that laughing makes you happy.’

‘Don’t you laugh only when you’re happy?’

‘Isn’t it like the chicken or the egg that comes first?’

There was something strange about the analogy but also convincing. Come to think of it, I think there was a title called ‘blessings come when you smile’ among the dramas that the grandmothers in the hospital room liked.

If so, shall we pretend to be deceived and laugh once more? It’s good to think that, but it’s not easy to put into practice.