I'm a Villainess, Can I Die?

As I stroked my arm, I felt something wet on my palm. I wondered if my hands were sweaty, so I rubbed my palms on the blanket and touched them again, but I still felt a dampness.

I didn’t think it was sweat.

To determine the source of the dampness, I got out of bed and lit a nearby candlestick.

The flickering candle danced dangerously alone in the dark room.

My attention was distracted by the shadows of the candles that filled the room, but then I came to my senses and looked into the sleeves of my forearms.

As expected, the clothes were a little wet.

It was a little too much to say that it was wet, but wet with dew is also expressed as wet.

Maybe just a drop or two, I ran my fingers through the gray spots on my white pajamas several times.

“This…… what.”

What is this?

Looking at the clock, it had been about four hours since I started sleeping. It meant that if I was wet somewhere before I went to sleep, it should have already dried up and left no traces.

However, it still was moist, as if it had just been dampened.

Did…… I drool. It seems I drool a lot when I’m tired…… By the way, usually when I drool, somewhere gets wet, but it isn’t normally wet drop by drop like this?

However, what would explain this right now if not saliva or sweat. So, outside intrusion?

What nonsense.

Before I go to sleep, I lock the door and sleep. Jane, my exclusive maid, had the key to the door, but Father and Mother were the only other people who had keys.

That means even Brother doesn’t have a key to my room.

I quietly turned around and looked at the windows of the room, but the curtains were all still, assuring the windows were closed.

Anyway, this was the second floor, and each floor is quite high, so breaking in through the window was close to impossible.

Considering the options, saliva was the most reliable.

Right, I might have drooled a little.

When a person breathes in a staccato of ‘hoo, haa, hoo, haa’, won’t their saliva drip and flow?

With such nonsensical self-consolation, I somehow came to a conclusion……. Strangely, I couldn’t completely stop feeling a corner of my heart being uncomfortable.

* * *

“Miss, are you not feeling well today?”

“Yes…….I’m a little bloated.”

During lunchtime, after rummaging through the stew a few times, I got up from my seat.

Oh, it’s a pity. Food should not be left behind.

Still, I couldn’t help it. I had no appetite and it felt too uncomfortable.

I felt that if I forced more food any further, I would regurgitate everything.

It is better to leave what I ate than to spit it out.

I moved and sat down on the bed.

I couldn’t lie down straight. If you lie down when you feel unwell like this, the sour gastric juices will heat and curdle your insides.

I leaned against the headboard of the bed and pounded my fist on my tight chest.

Jane glanced at me, then moved her gaze to the tableware I left behind.

An expressionless worry escaped from the drooping corners of her lips.

Such a good Jane.

It has been several days since this life has started. For several days, my stomach was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t eat properly.

At first, I called a doctor, wondering if it was because of a cold, but the doctor said it was unlikely a cold.

It was not cold, but anxiety. When the mind is tired, the body refuses to eat.

Oh, I swear there’s nothing in this mansion, so I’m getting anxious?

The dog next door will laugh.

Of course, there is no next door.

It was tiring to even hit my chest, so I lowered my hand and stared blankly into space.

All the while, I was still feeling uncomfortable. My stomach was empty, but the inside was sore. I was hungry, but I had no appetite.

What a crazy physical condition.

I stretched out my arms and looked at my skinny forearms. My thin forearms had become even more bony because I hadn’t eaten for the past few days.

Fortunately, it was autumn.

If I wore long sleeves, it would be covered.

If I face my family on the way, with my limbs exposed, they would most likely be worried.

I didn’t want to add a load when they were busy.

“What did the Doctor say?”

Jane had moved all the dishes to the tray and approached with the medicine on the bedside table and asked. It wasn’t bad to hear her worried voice.

Me liking when people worry about me is just like a child who wants attention.

I reached out and stared at the round dark green pill that was handed to me, then popped it into my mouth.

The medicine that is good for the body is bitter, but this medicine was a little too bitter. It also looked like a bunch of green algae.

“Ugh. It doesn’t seem like a cold. I thought it might be anxiety.”

After swallowing the pill and answering Jane, Jane naturally handed me the juice.

It was the moment when I had the most appetite among my days of no appetite. The juice to clean my taste buds that were sick after eating medicine.

I gulped down the juice, but the tingling sensation on the tip of my tongue did not completely subside.

I thought I needed to have a serious talk with the doctor after I finished the medicine. I must insist strongly that this drug didn’t seem right.

“Have you visited Priest Ian? If you keep not eating like this, you will get sick.”

“I go to him every day. I am able to have dinner thanks to the priest?”

From the day my body started to get sick, I have been going to him something like every day. Going every day was like taking attendance…… I thought about it, but what could I do?

First and foremost, people have to live.

It was only after receiving divine energy from Ian every evening that I had the strength to eat.

And with dinner like that, I lasted until dinner the next day.

I laid down slowly. Sleep was the most effective way to keep my little stamina.

This is why animals seem to hibernate in the winter. Very wise. As expected, animals are better than people.

“Are you going to sleep, Miss?”

I nodded slowly at Jane’s question.

“Yes, I need to get some sleep. Will you wake me up later before dinner?”

“Yes…… Miss.”

I closed my eyes and soon heard Jane leave. And, I soon fell asleep.

“Miss, you need to eat.”

At the end of the dreamy mind, someone’s voice broke in.

Is that Jane? It must be Jane. Earlier, I asked her to wake me up before dinner.

When I opened my eyes, the blurry shape of the maid came into my view. But that was it. I refused to wake my hazy mind. I had to close my eyes again as my heavy eyelids kept drooping.

“I…… will….… sleep…… today…….”

I answered in a sleepy voice. Jane gave no answer.

However, I fell asleep again without even bothering about that.

* * *

Foo, foo. The quiet, regular sound of breathing echoed through the room.

“Miss.”

Her maid stood next to the sleeping Selena and stared down at her while quietly calling Selena.

However, the sleeping Selena did not hear her call and only tossed and turned slightly.

Time passed.

The maid’s lips curled up as she looked down at Selena with a serene face.

Soon the maid reached into her chest and took out a small vial.

A vial with a clear, colorless liquid dripping from it.

Smiling, the maid slowly stretched out her hand and brought the vial close to Selena’s mouth.

Drip, drip, drip.

Three drops.

“Because this is enough for the black flower to bloom.”

A small whisper echoed through the room, and the maid hid the bottle in her sleeve again.

Then she slowly turned around and opened the door with a quiet movement.

However, the maid could not leave the room immediately.

It was because the moment she opened the door, someone was standing over there.

Tall, radiant silver hair, strange purple eyes.

“…… I came to see Selena.”

Lucas.

Lucas looked at the woman in front of him before turning his attention to the room behind her.

Apparently, the person he wanted to meet seemed to be sleeping.

The exact date of the subjugation had been set.

Exactly two weeks from today. He was going to tell her about it……. no. In fact, it was just an excuse. He came to see Selena’s face in his tiring daily life, but the person in question was asleep.

What timing.

Lucas rubbed his sore back and took a step back so the maid in front of him could leave the room.

“Did she eat before she slept?”

After making sure that the maid closed the door, Lucas asked the maid with a kind face.

However, the maid did not answer. She just stared blankly at him with unfocused eyes.

What is it?

Just as Lucas thought the quiet maid was strange, the maid’s head moved from side to side.

“I’m…… busy…….”

The maid answered with a nod, stammered and then turned away.

An insincere answer and careful eyes..

Other nobles would have scolded her for being arrogant, but Lucas just raised his eyebrows and went about his business.

‘Black hair, blue eyes.’

Mulling over the maid’s features.

* * *

“Huh.”

I awoke breathing heavily. It was that dream again.

A dream in which someone keeps muttering ‘gerousdan,’ ‘gerousdan.’ This time Selena didn’t come out, only her voice came out……. Listening to that sound alone in an empty space……. It would have been better if Selena had grabbed me by the throat. I slowly got up and sat down.

I need to calm down a bit today and go back to sleep. I ate nothing so I felt like staying up all night…….

“Uughh.”

I quickly covered my mouth.

Fortunately, nothing came out. After all, there has to be something that goes in so that something could come out.

It just seemed to be nausea caused by the regurgitation inside the stomach. The nausea that started once did not stop.

And after the continuous retching, a cough that scratched my throat followed.

Sickness, nausea and cough. There was no worst cycle.

My sensitive throat was hot and itchy.

Like it would burn. I covered my mouth in unbearable pain and groped my neck with my other hand.

The skin on my hand was damp. It wasn’t just the neck. After the nauseous feeling subsided a little, I could see that my whole body was wet here and there.

It was just astonishing that the human body could sweat this much.

Well, when Eunji had a seizure, she sweated like this……

Eunji’s pale face came to mind. And, gradually, my memory went back to a few months before Eunji’s death.

Even though she couldn’t even eat food, she constantly vomited from an empty stomach, and struggled with headaches and joint pains.

Yes, the way she died.

I slowly got up from my seat with my mouth shut.

And, the night I had this nightmare. Then…… I suddenly started feeling unwell…… As I did that night, I lit a nearby candlestick.

‘Ger…… ous…… dan…… ger…….’

An ominous red light flashed in my head. At the same time, the voice in the dream made a noise in my head.

A precariously dancing candlelight shadow filled the room, and I removed my hand from my mouth in slow motion. My palms were damp.

Of course. I had retched like that, yet even if there was nothing to throw up, there would have been saliva.

Yes, I’m sure.

Gulp. The sound of my swallowing echoed throughout the room.

Eventually, I slowly lowered my head and checked my palms again.