The Most Sentimental Love Affair……

Cao yang…...Shen Yang, who was relatively sensitive to the character yang, had a somewhat strange feeling? But none of the others thought much about it. Yang Tianchi nodded understandingly and turned back to ask the girl’s name.

Upon learning that the girl was called Yan Jiaqi (严家其), everyone felt that it looked like a man’s name; according to Yan Jiaqi, her name was previously written differently (严佳琪), but she was always sick as a child, and at one point some bigshot declared that she needed to adopt a man’s name in order to stabilise her soul.

Yang Tianchi asked, with interest: “Then after changing your name, do you still get sick?”

Yan Jiaqi chuckled: “Although it’s not good to promote feudal superstitions, since changing my name I’ve caught very few colds.”

Yang Tianchi was awestruck by the power of metaphysics and couldn’t help but sigh with feeling. Then he remembered that Yan Jiaqi and Su Hanyang had come together and asked, curious: “Were the two of you acquainted before?”

Yan Jiaqi glanced at Su Hanying and shook her head: “No, we only just met at the entrance.”

Shan Yang saw that Yang Tianchi seemed relieved and thought to himself that Yang Tianchi seemed to also regard Su Hanying as a rival. After all, Su Hanying’s looks were too striking; even the shy Long Nu was unable to stop herself from checking him out several times.

It was just that Su Hanying wasn’t very talkative; during the ice-breaking segment he seldom spoke unless someone turned the conversation to him. His silence gave Yang Tianchi the chance to show himself, and he quickly engaged in close conversation with Yan Jiaqi while Shen Yang and Long Nu strove hard to communicate.

At five minutes to twelve, the last female guest made a late arrival. She stood in the entrance panting, her speech coming in bursts: “S-Sorry, there was a traffic jam; A City is really too crowded……”

“Don’t worry, you’re not late.” Shen Yang took the initiative for once, because this girl really suited his eye -- short chestnut-brown hair, a small face, big eyes. The key point was the constant smile on her face; when she laughed there were two dimples, which was really sweet!

“It’s always crowded in the city. I was afraid of being late, so I woke up at six and could only make do with crumbs for breakfast.” For some reason, after Shen Yang finished speaking, the girl’s expression froze for a moment, and Yang Tianchi sent him a complicated look.

The guests had all arrived, and several of them sat in a row.

The third girl introduced herself as Duan Weiwei. She started by looking around, pausing at Su Hanying for a moment, then shifted her attention and said in a sincere tone: “Jiaqi-jie, you’re so beautiful.”

Yan Jiaqi’s eyes flashed. “You’re also very beautiful,” she said, with a slight smile.

Duan Weiwei waved her off and pouted cutely: “Noo, aren’t you mixed?”

Yan Jiaqi paused, her voice tinged with a hint of meaning: “My great-grandmother was British.”

Self-deprecatingly, Duan Weiwei said: “No wonder your features are deeper than ours; the bridge of your nose is so tall, your eyes are big, and your face is super small. Compared to you, I’m just a moon face.”

Yan Jiaqi grinned: “Big faces are auspicious.”

Duan Weiwei choked and plastered on a smile.

It might have been his imagination, but Shen Yang thought he felt a surging undercurrent.

No, he wasn’t wrong! The atmosphere suddenly turned strangely stagnant!

At this point, Shen Yang had a sudden flash of enlightenment, gaining faint understanding from Yan Jiaqi and Duan Weiwei’s conversation; in hindsight, he discovered that he seemed to have made a faux pas? Weren’t his words of comfort to Duan Weiwei earlier kind of mocking her, like, “Why didn’t you get up earlier if you didn’t want to be late?”? Thinking back to her reaction, she probably misunderstood……

Shen Yang was full of regret, but the moment had already passed, and it would be even more weird for him to go back and make a point of explaining himself. He could only wordlessly light a candle for his own poor EQ.

Then he heard Duan Weiwei say: “This Mr Su is rather unusual.”

Shen Yang looked up and say that Su Hanying only nodded lightly -- forget making a polite response; it was even a tad cold and distant. Yet perhaps because of Su Hanying’s solemn expression and natural bearing, he didn’t seem gauche.

Shen Yang even felt that it was precisely this type of response that suited Su Hanying’s character.

Duan Weiwei’s smile fell slightly; she was a bit disappointed, but a second later she once again showed an easy smile: “Hey, shall we go and look at the rooms?”

“Sure.” Shen Yang, who was trying to restore his good impression, hastened to support her. “We can move our luggage to the bedrooms on the way.” He was the first to rise, wanting to help the girls, but reality proved to be a slap in the face.

In order to show off his boyfriend power, Shen Yang specially chose the largest suitcase, which happened to be Duan Weiwei’s. He had originally wanted to help her carry the suitcase to the second floor, but he hadn’t thought…...to his surprise, he couldn’t even lift it up!

Were there gold bricks in it? Why was it so heavy!

Shen Yang didn’t regard himself as a weak chicken, but he seldom interacted with young women, so he naturally didn’t understand that girls’ suitcases contain things that are “useful”, “possibly useful”, and “possibly not useful”. He understood even less that when it comes to the two actions of receiving express mail and carrying luggage, even girls who usually seek help opening bottles possess extraordinary bursts of strength.

What should he do? Could he swap suitcases?

Shen Yang glanced at the camera, feeling helpless and distressed.

“Let me.”

As the voice sounded, a hand took the case from him; it had five slender fingers and felt slightly cool. Shen Yang subconsciously let go, turning his head to see Su Hanying effortlessly carrying the luggage…...and two pieces, at that.

Suppressing his admiration, he watched Su Hanying swiftly climb the stairs with a case in each hand and couldn’t help thinking of a certain phrase: Society’s Su-ge is the strong and silent type[1].

After a period of shock, Shen Yang retracted his gaze and silently picked up his own suitcase.

Aside from the shared lounge on the second floor, there were also three bedrooms: the boys were two to a room, and the girls’ was a four-person room with bunk beds and a built-in closet over twenty square metres in size. In other words, there were four beds per room, and the key point was that one male and one female guest could still join the show mid-way and enter the fray.

The group first visited the girls’ bedroom; when they pushed open the door, a vast sea of pink met their eyes. Curtains, carpet, walls…...Even on the sofa, which was miraculously not pink, there were still three pink teddy bears about half the height of a person. Shen Yang thought…...It’s super cute! But men couldn’t like pink! They’d be made fun of by others!

He suppressed his envy and kept his face blank.

The three girls all really liked this decor; Duan Weiwei even bounced in excitement. She pounced on one of the teddy bears and said delightedly: “This is the room of my dreams!”

Shen Yang quietly gave her a thumbs up. As expected of the girl I’ve got my eye on!

The girls quickly settled their bed arrangements and came along to look at the boys’ bedroom. In contrast, the boys’ room was more refreshing; the primary colour was blue, each room had a double bed, and the decor was very minimalist. But how could three people share two beds?

Shen Yang felt that interacting with Yang Tianchi was comparatively less stressful and wanted to share with him, but he suddenly heard Su Hanying ask: “What time do you both sleep at?”

Shen Yang had a habit of sleeping late and answered honestly: “One or two.”

Yang Tianchi: “I sleep at eleven.”

Su Hanying looked at Shen Yang: “I also sleep late; I’ll room with you.”

Shen Yang: “......” Fine.

Everyone put down their luggage and went up to wander around the third floor. On this floor, there was a gym, a home cinema, a games room, and a winter garden room. The garden was full of plants that Shen Yang couldn’t name, and each of them was grown just right.

After they had finished touring the mansion, they all returned to their rooms to unpack their luggage. Shen Yang hadn’t brought much; long after he’d finished arranging his things he saw that Su Hanying was still hanging up his clothes, so he asked casually: “Need a hand?”

He thought that Su Hanyang would be aloof and refuse, but he smiled and said, “Thanks”.

“No problem.” Shen Yang was dazzled by Su Hanying’s smile. He thought, this person really looks good when he smiles; no, he looks really good even when he’s not smiling, so when he smiles he’s good looking x2.

As a (self-confessed) straight-as-steel man, Shen Yang’s vocabulary was consistently lacking.

He saw that Su Hanying had already tidied up all his odds and ends, but there were still several sets of clothes inside the suitcase packed separately in sealed bags. Purely from this small detail, Shen Yang could glean the two phrases “germaphobe”[2] and “perfectionist”[3]; was it possible that Su Hanying was a Virgo?

Shen Yang, who had only scraps of astrological knowledge, unintentionally insulted Virgos, and opened one of the sealed bags without any sense of guilt. He found that Su Hanying’s clothes were all the latest fashion and low-key luxury, thus inferring that the other party’s home situation was probably very good.

The number of items in the suitcase gradually reduced, until finally there was only a delicately-packaged box left. Shen Yang instinctively picked it up and saw to his shock that it was a four-pack of underwear; he immediately lowered his shaking hand and handed it over in a rush.

As the two were transferring the underwear, the director suddenly graced them with his presence. “Have you finished unpacking?”

Shen Yang turned, facing the director as if he were his middle school dean. He automatically felt weak and said meekly, “We’re basically done.”

Director: “Then get ready to record your solo interviews; everyone else has already recorded theirs.”

Shen Yang was stunned. He recalled that the program group had explained to them in advance that they had to record solo interviews for the first episode, and couldn’t help gulping nervously.

Director: “Who’s first out of the two of you?”

Shen Yang was at a loss and looked to Su Hanying, who shut the closet door. “He’ll go.”

“Fine.” Shen Yang hadn’t the slightest mind to resist; he even rejoiced that the other party had made the decision in his place.

After he entered the solo interview room, the director said, “Don’t be nervous, just introduce yourself casually, talk about your attitude toward romance or why you came to this show, what sort of expectations you have and so on, speak freely, anything goes.”

Shen Yang took a deep breath and sat down stiffly. Looking at the people and equipment crowded together opposite him, he had the ridiculous notion that it kind of resembled a criminal undergoing an interrogation.

“OK, start.”

Following the director’s command, Shen Yang forced a smile and recited in a monotone: “Hello to everyone in the audience! I’m the guest Shen Yang, Shen is written -- ”

“Cut!” The director furrowed his brows. “This part will have subtitles when it’s broadcasted, so you don’t need to be too particular when you speak; relax a bit……” He saw Shen Yang’s perplexed blink and felt a faint headache come on. “Forget it, just say whatever.”

Shen Yang pursed his lips, gathered himself again, and said, “Friends in front of the television -- ”

Director: “It’s an internet broadcast.”

Shen Yang: “......”

Retake!

“Hello, friends, my name is Shen Yang, and I’m very happy to have been invited to join “28 Heart-Pounding Days”, the station’s new special interest variety show. I was originally hesitant to join this show because my personality is relatively introverted, and I’m not good with strangers -- ”

“Cut! You’ve broken character!”

“......”

His intended fierce burst of courage crumbled away with every retake. After repeating himself over and over again, Shen Yang finally stopped being nervous. Exhausted, he began: “Hello everyone, I’m Shen Yang, and I’m very grateful to have the opportunity to participate in the show “28 Heart-Pounding Days”. I’m still young, and the most important woman in my short life is my grandmother; I came to this show because I hope to find another woman who can become important to me. If I can meet her, I’ll love her, cherish her, respect her, and trust her. Every morning I would greet her, prepare breakfast for her, and send her to work or school. I wouldn’t disturb her when she’s busy, and when she’s resting I’d make her happy…...”

The more Shen Yang spoke, the more grandiose he became; his mouth was producing industrial-grade sugar.

“......She’d be on all my desktop backgrounds; all my close friends would know her.” By this point, Shen Yang was channeling the spirit of a Casanova; it was as if his mouth were filled with honey. “If she likes romance, I’ll become a bard; if she likes simplicity, I’ll be her Mr Snail[4]. I’ll help her photoshop her pictures; I’ll empty her shopping cart for her…...I will be faithful and devoted; I will neither leave her nor forsake her; I will always, always love her.”

By the time Shen Yang finished speaking, the director’s jaw had almost hit the floor[5].

“......Did you come up with that whole speech on the spot?” The director didn’t dare believe it; he felt like the young man in front of him had become a completely different person,

Shen Yang said shamefully, “No, I actually read a lot of novels for it.” Since he knew he had to record a solo interview, he’d of course prepared for it; he’d just forgotten it temporarily due to his nervousness at the start.

“What sort of novels?” The director was very curious; he was a middle-aged man producing a dating show, and the primary cause of hair loss for him was the question of how to rouse the hearts of the young men and women that made up his viewership. Effective learning materials were indispensable to him.

Shen Yang hesitated: “Do you know what the country’s biggest website for female-oriented online fiction is?”

The director: “Huh?”

“It’s that one…...The most sentimental love affair is in Jinjiang Literature City![6]” Shen Yang confided to him in a small voice: “I charged five-hundred dollars to my account there……”

The author has something to say:

I took up arms for Jinjiang; I shed blood for Jinjiang!

T/N: Shen Yang has a fairly traditional mindset re: gender / sexuality at first but it kind of just reads like he’s trying really, really hard to convince himself he’s a cishet guy.

[1] 社会__，人狠话不多 / A meme from 2017-ish mimicking the concepts of bragging about somebody being big in society + speaking with actions rather than words

[2] 洁癖 / clean freak

[3] 龟毛 / literally “tortoise hair”, possibly from the phrase 龟毛兔角 (“tortoise fur and rabbit horns”); describes a person who’s picky or has high standards

[4] This is a reference to the folk tale, “The Snail Girl”, in which a farmer saves a snail who then turns into a girl who does all his housework to thank him (they get married). A “Mr Snail” is the male equivalent of the snail girl, aka a good guy slaving away happily for his loved one.

[5] 瓜都掉了, “dropped all [his] melons” with reference to the slang term for being an amused onlooker, “eating melons”

[6] This line used to be used as a tagline for JJWXC