It Seems There is Light

Shi An stalled and looked back at Yan Liang.

“The book,” Yan Liang pointed toward the room, “Is in…Aunt’s room.”

Shi An did not move, his fingers tightened slightly on the door handle.

His expression was so blank that Yan Liang was a little alarmed.

He couldn’t say that Shi An had any obvious changes, but it always made people feel that after Jiang Yuan’s death, his whole person was silently depressed.

He fell so lightly and quietly that he could hardly cause any ripples.

The only obvious change was probably that he often spent a long time in a daze, as if he was still cruising in a long dream.

Shi An’s temperament was light and indifferent. In the period after the Olympiad, Yan Liang tried his best to be relaxed and cheerful. It seemed that it was not difficult to make Shi An laugh.

But every time he laughed, it was as if he did not know why he was happy, then he faintly smiled, and then there was an inexplicable blank space on his face.

He didn’t know why he was laughing, and he didn’t know why he suddenly didn’t want to laugh.

Yan Liang felt distressed by this expression.

“We won’t read it,” Yan Liang reached out and pulled Shi An’s wrist. “Don’t read it, don’t read it. Let me tell you, it’s just a book, and it says…”

Click.

Shi An used his other hand to open the door lock.

Jiang Yuan’s room remained the same, but her breath still seemed to fade away day by day, just about to lose its trace in the empty silence.

Shi An subconsciously reached back and grabbed the hem of Yan Liang’s shirt.

Yan Liang hurriedly covered the back of his cold hand with his palm.

The middle compartment drawer of the book shelf was creaked open, and the old hardcover notebook was lying quietly in the drawer.

This was a very common style of beige leather book. It was very old, with yellow and soft edges and obvious creases.

Shi An held the book, and his memory came back a little.

He remembered what was written inside.

It was Yan Liang’s name over and over again.

Suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, he held the book to his body and stalled his movements.

“Don’t you want to open it and take a look?” Yan Liang leaned over to Shi An, and gently touched the hard cover. “I was reading this at that time.”

“At that time, I was really…”

Distressed to death.

Shi An sat cross-legged on the ground, still not moving.

Yan Liang looked up at him with confusion.

Shi An’s face had little expression, but the tips of his white ears slowly reddened.

“…”

Shi An propped himself up on the floor with one hand, slowly moved to the opposite side of Yan Liang and lifted the book up: “You…don’t read it anymore.”

He realized afterwards that Shi An seemed to be shy.

Yan Liang couldn’t move his eyes and was embarrassed to stare again.

He felt his cheeks burning, so he raised his hands to his cheeks, squeezing his face up on both sides.

Shi An bent his legs and put the notebook on his knees, covering his face.

The room was very quiet, there was only the sound of pages turning.

The sound of the pages flipping lasted for a short while and then stopped. Shi An still maintained the position of blocking his face with the hard cover copy but he had stopped moving.

His pause lasted so long that Yan Liang felt slightly uneasy.

“Shi An?”

Shi An didn’t answer him. His face was hidden behind the pages of the book, so Yan Liang couldn’t see his expression.

Yan Liang felt that was more and more wrong. He frowned slightly, hesitating whether to pull the hardcover notebook directly.

The quiet air infinitely amplified all the subtle sounds and Yan Liang suddenly heard an unusual, very light huffing sound.

His heartbeat snapped heavily as he said, “Shi An?!”

Shi An’s fingertips on the hard leather trembled slightly, as if he was trying to hold back something.

“Shi An?!” Yan Liang gripped the upper end of the hardcover and pulled the book away, “What’s wrong with you?

Shi An seemed to have lost all his strength. He instantly let go of his hand following Yan Liang’s force.

Before Yan Liang could see his expression clearly, he suddenly turned his back to Yan Liang.

The boy’s lean shoulders trembled slightly, and the beautifully shaped butterfly bones resembled wings that hadn’t had time to spread out.

Yan Liang glanced down at the hard copy and his eyes widened a little.

When looking at the notebook for the first time, Yan Liang turned to blank pages. He thought Shi An didn’t write from the last page, so he simply missed Jiang Yuan’s handwriting.

[Xiao An]

The old woman’s writing was sharp and beautiful, and her line of writing filled the page of paper.

[A young man’s heartbeat

is the moonlight of a lifetime

Xiao An

If you like,

Then just like them]1If I were to literally translate the raw, it should be: if you like, then just like. Since it’s not mentioned in the raw, I just added ‘them’ to make it grammatically correct.

Yan Liang’s fingers gently brushed over the subtle indentations of the paper.

No wonder the book was in Jiang Yuan’s room.

Yan Liang leaned forward, and his warm palm covered the back of Shi An’s neck, gently holding it.

Shi An tried to suppress his sobbing. As soon as Yan Liang’s palm touched him, he held his breath for a moment.

Yan Liang sighed in his heart and stretched his palm forward.

Shi An’s tears just passed through his fingertips.

Like a tiny fish, it swam over quietly, leaving his finger cold.

Shi An turned sideways, avoiding Yan Liang’s hand, before lowering his head to carelessly wipe his tears.

“Wait, Shi An, don’t rub your eyes,” Yan Liang walked around Shi An and carefully took his hand away, “Don’t rub them, I’ll go get a tissue.”

Resting his forehead against his knee, Shi An, with a soft nasal voice, said, “I’m not crying.”

“…”

“Okay, not crying,” Yan Liang brought over the tissues from the bedside table. “Your eyes got a meteorite, okay? Don’t rub it, let me wipe it?”

Shi An still didn’t look up: “It’s okay. Ten seconds.”

“Okay, ten seconds.” He was like a wounded but still stubborn little animal, not getting close to people. Yan Liang sighed and gently smoothed Shi An’s hair with his fingers.

After almost half a minute, Shi An lifted his head.

The mist was still lingering in his amber eyes. His skin was white, and the crimson at the end of his eyes faded very slowly, beautiful and conspicuous. Even the tip of his nose was faintly red.

Although he had little expression, he still gave the illusion of being bullied.

Yan Liang carefully closed the heavy hardcover notebook, fingers gently stroked the old book cover.

Every time the finger wandered over the cover page, Jiang Yuan’s cloud-like eyes became a little clearer.

Yan Liang couldn’t help feeling sad, and the corners of his mouth slumped down childishly.

“It’s okay,” Shi An hugged his knees and spoke to himself. “She said she’d always be there.”

“She said she’d always be there.”

“…I miss her.”

“I’ve never thought about someone so much.”

“Actually, I didn’t want you to go that day.”

“I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“The house is so empty.”

Shi An’s eyes fell somewhere in the void as he leaned back against the foot of the bed, away from the warm light of the floor lamp, leaving only a half-lit, half-dark shadow.

“Don’t go.” Yan Liang clasped Shi An’s wrist, pulled him forward, and sat him in the orange light. “I’ve been there, too, Shi An. You believe me, we’ve been there.”

The light dimmed into different shades of light in Yan Liang’s dark pupils, dipping into the beautifully contoured peach blossom eyes.

Shi An’s red-tinged eyes curved gently at the end.

Yan Liang’s expression was abruptly serious, and both hands wrenched up Shi An’s shoulders, “..Shi An.”

“…En?”

His expression was too serious, and Shi An was taken aback. He straightened up a little bit without realizing it.

Yan Liang lowered his eyes to Shi An’s light-colored lips.

“…I, I…”

He averted his eyes and his Adam’s apple moved up and down.

“Can…Can I..”

“Can…”

“Can, can kiss you?”

“…”

“…”

“Ah?”

Shi An’s eyes widened a bit and a watery glow swayed at the bottom of his eyes.

Never noticed before, Shi An seemed to be really.

Easy to bully.

Yan Liang took a deep breath and inserted his fingers into the soft layer of hair at the back of Shi An’s head.

He rose slightly and moved his wrist so that Shi An’s face was tilted up before he quickly, accurately and ruthlessly stuck his lips on it.

“Hmm?”

Shi An’s body trembled in a small way, but he did not push back at all.

His heartbeat was so fast that he almost choked his throat, Yan Liang maintained this action, sweating from his fingertips.

So his lips are so soft.

Are they made of cotton candy.

Why is he so quiet.

His hair really smells good.

Yan Liang gently clasped the back of Shi An’s head, his head full of random thoughts.

He suddenly thought of the most crucial question.

Then what?

Then what??

He felt Shi An slowly pursed his lips.

Yan Liang leaned forward. This action was really tiring. He felt his chest tremble violently with his breathing.

His mind went blank.

It’s over.

What to do.

What’s next?

The cheeks and ears were burning with intensity. Yan Liang was too embarrassed to let go of his hand, but he didn’t know what to do, so he could only press Shi An’s lips and froze in a bitter stalemate.

God.

Let the lightning come down.

Meteorites are also fine.

It’s okay for Mars to hit the Earth.

Help.

The mind collapsed into a mess. It was only when Shi An struggled slightly that Yan Liang came back to his senses. He released the person in a daze and saw the corners of Shi An’s eyes getting redder and redder.

His light-colored eyes seemed to have been wetted countless times by water. Shi An turned sideways and propped on the floor, pursing his lips and panting silently.

Yan Liang looked at him, only to feel his head buzzing.

What’s going on?

He felt a bit blocked in his chest, and his breathing was unconsciously out of rhythm.

“Dizzy?” Shi An’s expression returned to its usual cool and indifferent appearance, slightly tilting his head to look at him.

Yan Liang nodded.

“Chest tightness?”

Yan Liang then nodded his head.

He heard himself asking stupidly, “Doctor, can I still be saved?”

Shi An laughed silently, as if he was trying to hold it in, but couldn’t do so. His shoulders trembled slightly.

“That’s you,” Shi An said, looking at him idly.

“?” Yan Liang cocked his head.

“Lack of oxygen.”

“…”

“Almost suffocated by you.”

“…”

Yan Liang reacted afterwards.

He pressed Shi An’s head and pressed against Shi An’s lips desperately, and he was in a stalemate for nearly a minute.

No wonder Shi An reacted this way.

So it was suffocating.

God, lighting come on.

Capitalized ‘囧’ characters.

Yan Liang lifted his hand to cover his face with a twisted expression.

Wait.

He quietly opened his knuckles.

Shi An sat cross-legged across from him, the usual cool look on his face really confused people.

So much so that Yan Liang didn’t even notice the tips of his reddened ears.

“You’re blushing!!!?”

Yan Liang suddenly had an idea2福至心灵 – luck brings wisdom, When good luck come, one has good ideas and continued to cover his face with one hand and pointed at Shi An with one hand.

Shi An couldn’t pretend anymore and glared up like he was mad, even his cheeks puffed up slightly.

He might not know that not everyone looked fierce when they glared at others.

Like a kitten with soft, fluffy paws outstretched.

Milky but fierce.3it’s basically just these two words 奶凶 (milk and fierce). It’s often used to describe a kid or a little animal. When they are being angry or fierce, they actually are acting adorable with their movement and sound. I cannot think of any words to describe in English.

Yan Liang couldn’t help but straighten up and pounce, rubbing the whole person into his arms.

It’s better to come back another time.

Wait until he had done his homework.

It was too awkward.

 

T/N: I didn’t lie when I said they’re the purest, the most innocent characters I’ve ever read lol

 

1If I were to literally translate the raw, it should be: if you like, then just like. Since it’s not mentioned in the raw, I just added ‘them’ to make it grammatically correct.2福至心灵 – luck brings wisdom, When good luck come, one has good ideas3it’s basically just these two words 奶凶 (milk and fierce). It’s often used to describe a kid or a little animal. When they are being angry or fierce, they actually are acting adorable with their movement and sound. I cannot think of any words to describe in English.