My Upgrades Are Invincible

"And who is this... Oddly dressed man." A loud voice drawled out as I helped myself to the fried chicken the house elves managed to teleport in front of me when I was looking around the room.

I knew almost instantly that the voice belonged to the pale man with shiny almost greasy hair to be Snape and I honestly resent him saying I was the one oddly dressed.

"Excuse me Professor, Ape I am following the general clothing worn by the vast majority of the civilized world." I was currently wearing a nice comfortable set of blue jeans and turtleneck sweater that clung to my body and outlined my muscles and I was feeling hot from the excess fabric due to my Pure Body skill.

"You are dressed like a muggle within a wizarding school... And my name is Snape, not ape..." He grumbled and the students quieted down and were obviously listening in to our confrontation.

"Ah my honest mistake. It's just the way your hair is shining in the candlelight reminds me of the long hairs of gorilla as it beats at the cage separating it from its betters." He slapped the table and the whole feasting hall went quiet.

"Headmaster what subject is this young man going to be teaching..." He hissed and I could see the visiting heads of the visiting schools watching the drama with glee while Dumbledore was obviously putting on a disappointed expression, but I knew for a damn fact that the man probably set this up to begin with to test me.

Dumbledor shrugged and for a second, I honestly, he was just going to say, 'Fuck it I don't even know.' But I was surprised when he stood up and rang his spoon against his crystal chalice as though everyone wasn't paying attention to the drama. "I have a most auspicious announcement which is to announce a new required class for all students to undertake during the day and that is Physical Education." He said cheerily and I could see all a number of the fatter students look at each other in pure horror at there headmaster's words.

Dumbledore then turned to Kakaroff and Olympe the heads of the other schools. "I hope my fellow heads of schools will push their students into some physical training as being fit will help your champions during the trials to come." The duo shared a look and had to acknowledge being able to get a bit more distance from a dragon, better swimming, and being able to run a long distance would help within all the planned events so they nodded.

"Yes, zat will be fine Dumbledore." Olympe the head of Bauxbatons said in heavily accented English, with Kakaroff muttering about his students wouldn't need it but could just treat as a warmup.

Hmmm you know what... I am going to bully these poor students a bit. If they just want to force a job on me but then again, it's possible Dumbledore actually thinks I want to work with him long term, but I want to be out of here within a week or so.

"Good then that means you are experienced in dueling correct." Snape sneered and even Dumbledore looked a bit constipated at how direct Snape was being.

"Headmaster could you please create a dueling platform or allow us to take this outside as I imagine Snape's hair is going to catch fire with how angry he looks." I said conversationally.

I could see the moment Dumbledore just said screw it basically and waved at the doors. "Very well we all got a bit of food within us so we may as well have a show between skilled combatants."

His words seemed to have snapped Snape out of his aggressive mindset hearing how even Dumbledore called me a strong combatant, so he seemed to look me over again and noticing the way I was holding myself steeled himself for the coming battle.

"Go ahead onto the grounds as I know you two will cause a large mess should you be bound to merely a dueling ring not to mention I won't be able to divert all the spells or effects sent everywhere but outside all the students can sit within the Quidditch seats which are heavily warded from spells.

'Oh, joy I get to fight under the views of hundreds, that's new...' I thought rolling my eyes and then my whole aura changed, and I turned from the joking young man teasing his coworker into a man who killed and slaughtered tens of thousands of monsters over the last half year or so.

"Snape don't play with me or it will be over before you know it..." I said as I walked out of the main hall and followed the way me and Dumbledore walked in from outside.

"Why are you so rude to Snape." A voice hissed at me, and I couldn't help but laugh seeing Hermione Granger trying to give me a glare of disapproval.

"Hey Hermione get off his back. Plus, Snape's a git." A ginger that was obviously Ronald Weasley said with the very child of destiny Harry Potter following up with his ginger friend grinning at me within the first day of coming to Hogwarts called Snape for being a greasy git.

"Well little miss I don't like hypocrites for one and secondly I am honestly afraid that one of those floating candles are going to drop some hot wax onto his hair lighting it on fire which would spread instantly across the whole staff table with how flammable it is." I replied seriously making her blink in shock at my blunt words

"Now excuse me kiddies I have one of Moldyshort's death munchers to beat some respect into." I said offhandedly making Harry blink heavily in surprise and the other members of the trio to freeze as my words translated within their minds as I walked forward leaving them in the dust.

I made sure to avoid the running golden trio as they tried to catch up to me by simply flying up onto the quidditch field posts which surprisingly hadn't been taken done for the Triwizard tournament. It took a few minutes for the rest of the students from all three schools to fill out the various seats within the stands.

Finally, the man of the hour walked onto the field and stared at me obviously confused as to how I got hundreds of feet into the air and was sitting so causally within the middle ring.

I sent Dumbledor a light wave to get his attention and to not worry as I jumped out of the ring and I could hear a lot of the girls within the crowds screaming out in shock as I plummeted several dozen meters down and with a loud crash, I made a three-point landing destroying the soft ground I landed on and almost twisted my ankle at how soft the quidditch field was.

"Interesting... No wonder Harry survived falling so many times in this death trap of a game." I verbally noted and with a flash of light my sword appeared in outstretched right arm witch twitch outwards and as I walked towards Snape, I made my sword drag across the quidditch field and make black and purple sparks shooting everywhere making people exclaim at my way of using magic.

"Thats a fancy way of using a summoning charm... No, it was closer to apparating the item from elsewhere, correct?" Snape asked boredly and I shrugged as it was honesty none of his damn business.

I heard a voice clearing itself making me look over and saw Dumbledore standing in one of the seats with the rest of the school's staff and the visiting staff members putting the Death Stick to to his throat and amplifying his voice.

"Welcome students of Hogwarts, Drumstrang, and Bauxbatons, here we have two very skilled combatants and on the right is Hogwarts potion master Professor Snape." Slytherin's burst out in loud cheers to show their support along with a few Ravenclaws joining in to show some support, but the other two houses actually booed at him making McGonagall yell out though her words didnt carry far enough for me to hear through the dim of the students and Dumbledors following words.

"And on the left is the new teacher who was able to subdue a whole team of Auror's without getting hit once by a single spell!" He said hyping people up, but I noticed one crucial factor and a couple students and staff members did as well.

Fucking Dumb as a door, doesn't even know my name...