Psychological Control

I woke up in a daze, to the ringing of my phone. I had worked late into the night again last night to complete the cv's for the Survivor section. I fumbled around and half propped myself up from the bed, a slight chill to my half-naked upper body from the gradually turning cooler weather.

The ringtone didn't seem to be the one I'd set as my wake up alarm, but instead it was the default ringtone of that phone. Who would be calling me early in the morning?

"Hi, Brian!"

I took the phone away from my ear and glanced again at the name displayed on the screen. Chris, yes, but why did the voice ringing out of the receiver belong to Jonathan?

"Jonathan? You're...filming for Chris?" I said as I pressed the phone back to my ear again, getting up from the bed sharply and walking to the bathroom as I did so.

"Yeah, and Chris said he hadn't spoken to you in a while and was afraid you wouldn't answer the phone." Jonathan's voice on the other end sounded excited. "That sultry look on his face, you dumped him?"

I didn't really like dealing with Jonathan, but his position in the fashion industry was one that I, a newcomer to the industry, couldn't afford to offend. So, if I could make friends with him and even get a job or two by making a faux pas, why not?

"No, we're not that kind of relationship either. It's just that school has just recently started and I'm a bit busy adjusting to it." I made it look like I didn't care what he was calling about and just politely replied.

Even if I had ulterior motives for the exchange with him, I didn't want to make them so obvious. The falsehood, the desire to capture, this approach is not limited to ambiguity between men and women, it is also a good tactic in the business world.

"Well, why are you so cold to everyone?" Jonathan didn't seem to care about the previous conversation, it was just a casual way of bringing it up. "You should know the final winner of America's Next Top Model by now, right?"

I was squeezing toothpaste on myself with my phone between my shoulders and raised an eyebrow at his question, "I didn't actually know, but I probably guessed it when I heard you ask. It's Alice, isn't it?"

"......" There was a half-hearted silence on the other end of the line before Chris's voice suddenly came through, "Do you have so little faith in me? Why didn't you guess it was me?"

I heard Chris's voice sigh with relief and replied, "Because I can guess that what GUESS needs these days is a female model, and of the top five posted on the website, she's the only one with the most power. You're working with Jonathan to end the America's Next Top Model contest?"

Chris had a moment of silence before saying, "Yes, the shoot ended a week ago. It just so happened that the magazine Jonathan was shooting creative design for had a fashion shoot to do, so they gave me a lift to do a backdrop." No sooner had his words fallen than his phone was snatched by Jonathan.

"What a backdrop, to put it so harshly. That's right! And we've just arrived in San Francisco and we're getting ready to shoot over here. Brian, aren't you coming to see your friend?" Jonathan said in a particularly positive way.

"Oh? Is there a spot for me to be a backdrop too then?" I said in a teasing tone, "After all, I've had a hard time getting in touch with our noble and charming creative director, so maybe he can give me my first magazine shoot?"

Jonathan on the other end of the line laughed at my words, and it seemed that he didn't mind a bit of just the right amount of banter for his preferred type. Maybe because it would give him the illusion of flirtatious flirting? Mike the Ice Cream Man, whom he had admired earlier, had been too serious in his face for him to lose interest after his elimination.

"Oh, our clever Brian! Of course, even a one-shot is there if you can arrive at the shoot in two hours!" Jonathan said happily, "A scheduled model is sick pushing this job, so why not make it cheaper for our Brian?"

It was obviously good news, but the way Jonathan called up to me made me cringe uncontrollably. David was obviously a corpse buried under those layers of concrete long ago, but the way he addressed me still couldn't be rubbed out in my mind.

I forced myself to laugh out loud, lifting the corners of my mouth to make the words come out with a little chuckle. "Ha, thank you then Jonathan. The address of the studio? I'll be on my way over there."

Just as I stepped into the studio, the décor struck me as overwhelmingly familiar, clubby. Not far away, Chris, dressed in a less formal and less casual outfit, and Jonathan, who was explaining the theme of the shoot to three or four other female models, both saw me at the same time.

Jonathan gave me a wave as a greeting and then asked his assistant, who was standing by, to take me to change. Chris, however, came running straight at me with gusto.

"Brian!" He called my name, wearing a smile that was rare to see on his face. He rushed up to me and tried to come up for a hug, but had a moment of inability to fit in and stopped awkwardly.

Looking at the little wolf who was almost domesticated, I didn't mince words and went straight up to give him a hug. "Two weeks no see, how's it going?" I asked as I followed the camera assistant to the dressing room to change, while I spoke up.

Chris seemed to feel happy just standing next to me as he nodded nervously and said, "With the little bit of visibility from America's Next Top Model and the experience Tyler and the guys taught me, I've at least been able to run a lot more shows than I was, and I've also gotten a lot more work on print shoots."

"That's good." I complimented in a genuine tone, smoothing the insecure coyote's fur. "There will be more opportunities in the future, it just gets a bit tiring to model as a full time job."

"Heh, and presuming to think of modelling as your full-time job? All you do is strip and seduce men!" Without waiting for Chris to reply, a sharp, mean male voice suddenly interjected into our conversation.

"Shut up, Anthony!" Chris shouted angrily like a coyote defending his territory. "If you don't want to show any quality, then don't just open your mouth. Protect the environment will you?"

I turned my head and saw the man Chris had called Anthony, who was standing up with a glass of water from a water fountain off to the side. A face that was more feminine and sultry than a Hollywood actress, but the malice on his face distorted the luscious face, and the burn in his eyes stabbed me straight in the face.

Anthony Brooks, if I remember correctly, Wikipedia tells me he is Jonathan's current boyfriend. By profession, he's also a model. Even posed as he is today, he is still as gorgeous and compelling as ever. It makes me offended that the fire is released.

No wonder I came up with the strange analysis of the relationship between the two of them from the fetish that Jonathan gave me as a photographic subject in the hard photo shoot for the competition in the first place.

Jonathan's admiration for Anthony's beauty, and the restrictive controls he places on Anthony in order to maintain his own mental fantasy of beauty, may be pushing people too far. Perhaps Jonathan had an unshrinkable responsibility for Anthony becoming this way.

After all, compulsively raising someone to be dependent on others in order to grow like a doddering flower not only fuels insecurity, it can also drive someone into depression. It's not so bad when you can still be angry at someone for being jealous.

I looked at Anthony with an expressionless face as he looked even angrier than Chris, then he suddenly raised his finger to my face and cursed in a loud voice, "Hmph, a bitch who likes to steal other people's men and dare to do it without being called names? Well, if you're going to get involved, I don't mind if you both get the fuck out of here!"

His finger was almost poking me in the face, and the stench of corruption lingering on his fingernails made me cringe. But before I could say anything, Anthony's hand was struck down hard by Chris.

"YOU!!!" Anthony let out a soft cry of pain, and looking at the back of his hand, which was stamped with red marks, he raised his hand in anger and was about to throw the glass of water in his other hand at Chris' face.

Seeing this, I gave Chris a strong tug on his hand and made him fall backwards towards me to avoid the glass of water. The water would have stained Chris' costume and probably cost him a fortune, not to mention ruining Chris' makeup and delaying the shoot. I wasn't about to let something like that happen that might make a bad impression on the photographer's mind.

But the water was in Anthony's hand and in the end it didn't get spilled.

"Who did you say you were going to double-cross?" Jonathan's low voice came from behind Anthony, and Anthony's hand was caught by Jonathan, spilling water all over the floor.

"Didn't I tell you to stay home and be nice? And don't speculate freely about my relationship with other models! Chris did, and now Brian is doing the same. You'll do as you're told, wasn't that the deal?" Jonathan showed a forcefulness rarely seen with other people.

Anthony, who had been flailing under his hold, surprisingly shrivelled up all of a sudden. I suddenly felt a little sorry for him. Unlike my taming of Chris, I had only soothed Chris' psyche and made him less solitary and prickly. But it was amazing how what Jonathan had done to Anthony could change a man to such an extent by osmosis.

It looks like it's just not possible for Jonathan to not want Anthony these days. Because Anthony wouldn't be able to live without him, I guess. Obviously such a beautiful face again.

I watched sadly as Anthony cursed and turned away, taking another cigar out of his shirt pocket and lighting it as he went.

"I'm so sorry, Brian." Jonathan said as if nothing had happened, "I've made you all look ridiculous. Anthony didn't used to be so jealous, maybe seeing your beauty Brian has given him a crisis? Hahahaha!"

Chris still hadn't gotten over it, but seeing as Jonathan was now the boss, he just kept his head down and kept quiet. All I could do at this was look at Jonathan and pull up the corners of my mouth and smile. "What a thing to say, isn't your lover Anthony on that famous list of the most beautiful faces in the world? How can I be considered beautiful compared to him?"

It was never wrong to be polite and polite, and sure enough Jonathan's face returned to a smile. "Brian you're too modest, your beauty is completely different from the type that Anthony has... the urge to... come on, go and get changed! We can't afford to delay our shooting schedule any longer!"

Yes, Anthony and I were two completely different extremes, but the incoherent part of Jonathan's remark sent a nasty chill down my spine. Whereas Anthony's beauty had a sense of style, Brian's face was more on the cold side of refined elegance. I really don't understand why Jonathan has suddenly changed his tastes.

Perhaps in the eyes of an artist, beauty is beauty and there is no category distinction?

But I can sort of see why Jonathan didn't ask his lover to shoot this time for the nightclub theme. With his lover's looks, taking this type of photo would have immediately given the photo an erotic flavour. Instead, the look I brought to the table was the same guilty pleasure that sells when you are a jazz dancer.