Savage Divinity

Carrying a wooden box swaddled in blankets, I make my way towards Akanai’s suite on the inner wall with Mafu and Aurie in tow. Abandoning me to visit his sweetheart, my quin heads into the stable with the day’s catch, three large fish taken from a freezing cold river. It's tough being a bachelor, my poor quin already works so hard to keep fat but now he’s working even harder to court Mila’s quin Atir. Three fish doesn’t seem like much, but considering he ate five and fed Aurie two, Mafu is damn good at solitary hunting and I wish him all the best.

Plus, Pafu and Suret’s pups are getting too big to cuddle and I’m gonna need replacements soon. I wonder if there are regular otters around? They're less cool, but still adorable...

While trudging up the long staircase with Aurie, we come across a familiar bald head pacing just short of the hallway to Akanai’s suite. Grim and dour as always, Gerel notices my approach and gives me his best disapproving glower. “You’re late. Move little man, you don’t keep people like them waiting.”

“Hey buddy.” He hates it when I call him buddy but I don’t like being called ‘little man’ either, so we’re even. “It’s a family lunch not a war council, nothing to get all worked up over.” Stopping just to be contrary, I give Aurie a subtle cue to greet Gerel. Always happy to please, my big kitten latches both his paws around the amber-eyed warrior’s waist, chest rumbling in delight as he waits for head scratches. Immune to Aurie’s charms and prodigious weight, Gerel pats the big cat twice before pushing him away, gesturing for me to hurry along. Just to be polite, I ask, “You eat yet? You should join us, it beats hanging around out here until we’re done.” We aren’t the best of friends but he’s helped me a lot over the years, working to train both my original and new retinue without asking for anything in return. He didn’t even take his fair share from Yo Ling’s island, merely taking a handful of uncut gemstones for all his trouble.

At my suggestion, Gerel does something completely out of character, visibly blanching as he recoils in abject terror. After shaking his head repeatedly, he steadies himself before smoothing his shirt and clearing his throat, pretending the past few seconds never happened. “No need,” he says, refusing to look me in the eye. “As you said, it’s a family affair. I’m happy to wait here.” After a short pause, he adds, “Please convey my gratitude to Sarnai.”

“Why not convey your gratitude yourself? Seriously, it’s just up the hall.” Seeing his anger at being pressed, I shrug and give up. “Suit yourself. I’ll ask someone to bring you a plate.” Weirdo. Why’s he so scared of having lunch with Baatar and Akanai? I guess it could be a star-struck sort of deal, sometimes I forget my family are the bigwigs of the People. Still, I’d never have expected Gerel to be the adoring type, especially since he challenges Baatar to a fair fight every spring even after the Iron Banner Company disbanded. I'm looking forward to watching Baatar beat the crap out of him again. Truth be told, as imposing as he is, I’ve never seen Gerel win a real fight, only spars. For a guy who calls himself the number one talent of his generation, he sure gets beat up a lot.

Then again, who am I to point fingers?

The door stands slightly ajar and Aurie runs in to greet his second favourite person in the world, Li Song. With a chorus of grumbling mewls, Aurie taps his nose then Li Song’s hand, as if asking her to make the pain go away. Clapping his hands, Husolt smiles with glee and roars in delight. “About time lad, some of us have busy schedules unlike yourself.” Winking to show he’s joking, he licks his lips and asks, “What’s in the box? You cook us a treat?”

“Nope. Spoils from my hunting trip. Behold, the newest members of our family.” Unveiling the box with a grand flourish, my rabbit reveal is met with mixed reactions. Tali shrieks in delight and rushes in for a closer look, but wary of mama bun, I caution her to stay at arm's length. Baatar, Alsantset, and Charok smile and nod, all more than happy to humour my obsession with collecting pets. Rolling their eyes, Akanai and Mila wear the same disapproving/amused half-grimace while Husolt and Li Song share a disappointed sigh, a father-daughter pair of rice buckets suffering as they wait for lunch.

So far, everyone is reacting in character but Sarnai and Lin break the pattern. Clapping a hand to her mouth, Sarnai stifles her girlish giggling while Lin’s lips twist like shes sucking a lemon, eyes narrowed in undisguised disapproval as she glares at the adorable baby bunnies. So strange, I would’ve expected their reactions to be switched, but seeing Sarnai in such high spirits is heart-warming. After switching with Baledagh, he reports the room is Spectre free before escaping back to our Natal Palace, ignoring my suggestion to stay for lunch with the family. Knowing there’s nothing I can say to change his mind, I return my attentions to Sarnai, enjoying the sight of her shoulders shaking with barely contained mirth.

It’s a welcome change from her fiery scowl or tear-filled gaze, and it’s good to know the Spectres have left her alone. They didn’t bother her while she was in a coma but the moment she opened her eyes, they swarmed her in droves like wolves descending on weakened prey. Thankfully, our little cleansing chat last night seemed to have buoyed her spirits, her eyes sparkling with life as Baatar holds her close. They rarely show affection so openly but I’m not sure if it’s because Akanai adopted Baatar and Sarnai sees herself as among family, or because she stopped caring about what other people might think. Either way, I’m happy to see them both in such great spirits, nuzzled together and sharing a private conversation through Sending as Baatar’s tail threatens to bash apart the chair he’s sitting in.

Wonderful as this all is, I’m confused by her reaction. Adorable though they might be, my fifteen baby bunnies are far from hilarious, shrinking back in fear from Tali while Tate pretends he’s too old and manly to be interested in bunnies. It won’t last long because they’re darling, trembling as they turn their backs away from so many staring gazes and bury their heads beneath mama bun’s long, white fur. Though they all share her droopy ears, only two baby buns share her colouring while eight of her babies are a mottled grey and white combination. Four are pure grey and the last one is my favourite with its beautiful golden brown coat, looking like Aurie’s tiny, rabbit-eared twin.

Even though I’m not supposed to name it yet, I’ve already decided he or she will be called Tawny One. Works for a boy or girl and if these bunnies fail then my next golden-brown bunny will be Tawny Two. It’s all about managing expectations. Best case scenario, I revolutionize the herb-hunting business and get even richer. Worst case scenario, my wildcats and bears dine on fresh rabbit for a day or two.

Keeping a wary eye on mama bun, I add the last of my dried fruit and scavenged roots to her rapidly diminishing pile of food, hoping to keep her placated for a few minutes longer. Ignoring her babies, mama bun noms away like she’s been starved for days but she’s been eating like this for the better part of an hour now. At just over twenty kilograms, I’m amazed by how much food she can tuck away. Poor girl, it’s probably due to stress from giving birth to fifteen babies. Eating is the only thing keeping her calm and I don’t know what I’ll do once she’s full. Brave to the point of foolhardy, mama bun spent half an hour headbutting my calves while we walked home, futilely trying to ‘rescue’ her babies. Eventually, she passed out either from exhaustion or a concussion and I placed her in the box with her babies. Luckily, after waking up, she seemed to have forgotten the whole abduction debacle and happily chowed down on the provided travel meal.

At least she didn’t kill herself headbutting me. From what I’ve read, it’s a real possibility. I'm guessing in a world filled with sadistic people and animals, dying quickly isn't a terrible defense mechanism.

Keeping myself between the twins and mama bun, I wave my disgruntled little wifey over to see the bunnies. She’s not exactly a hare supremacist like her daddy but it’s hard for kids not to pick up on their parents’ bad habits. Shuffling over, Lin’s frown softens as she reaches in to pet mama bun. With silky white fur and long droopy ears, mama bun looks ridiculously adorable as she thumps her feet in displeasure, alternating between pleased and angry while deciding if the touching is tolerable. Thankfully, Lin has a way with animals and mama bun eventually decides my bunny-eared wifey means no harm and returns to eating at full speed.

I wanna pet the bunny too but she reacts to my touch with unbridled aggression. I’d rather she not kamikaze before her babies are weaned so I’ve kept my hands to myself.

Giving me the coldest look she’s ever shown, Lin scrunches her nose and says, “Hubby, you should set them free, ya? They’re wild animals not pets to play with.”

“I didn’t bring them back to be pets.” Well, not only pets. “I have good reasons for abdu- err... Look, my plan...”

My vision of herb-hunting rabbits wins me no points as Lin shakes her head, though she doesn’t stop petting mama bun, enamoured by her soft, fluffy winter coat. “Daddy won’t be happy. You know how he gets when it comes to rabbits.”

Taking a line from Ulfsaar, I reply, “Every creature has its purpose. Teacher will overlook my heresy once I bring home armloads of Spiritual Plants thanks to my long-eared friends here.”

Finally succumbing to curiosity, Tate joins his sister in staring at the bunnies just as mama bun finishes her meal. Moving in a blur of light, mama bun darts out of the box to explore her new surroundings, stupidly believing her babies to be safe in their ‘den’. Spotting Jimjam crouched and ready for action, the suicidal mama bun charges the threat and headbutts Jimjam. Reacting in a far less spectacular fashion compared to his brother, Jimjam flinches in surprise while staring at this curious, threatening aggressor, trying to decide just how to proceed from here. With a loud "Nooo!", Lin scoops mama bun into her arms just as Jimjam decides he wants a taste, confusing the poor wildcat even further.’

‘Food or friend?’ he seems to ask, staring about in bewilderment.

Escaping from Lin’s arms in a heartbeat, mama bun thumps the ground in a show of dominance before carelessly deciding the confounded Jimjam isn’t a threat and moving on. Leading Lin on a merry chase, mama bun sends Banjo, Baloo, and Sarankho packing before picking up where she left off earlier, ‘viciously’ attacking my bruised calves for reasons unknown. With instincts like this, I’m surprised bicorn rabbits are still in existence. Already Jimjam and Sarankho have had enough and are looking at mama bun like their next meal, but thankfully the first command I taught them was ‘leave it’.

Goes to show that strength isn’t the only defining factor for survival. Like I’ve said before, quantity has a quality of its own.

Seriously, fifteen babies in one litter? My non-existent vagina aches in sympathy.

Finding no success in her attempts to calm mama bun, Lin pouts and pleads, “Do something before she hurts herself. These poor babies need their mommy.” Patting my sweet wifey’s head, I pull her in for a hug. “Don’t worry, she’s a tough old bun. Gave Aurie a big old swat and then nearly broke my nose with the follow up. It took half an hour of solid headbutts to knock her unconscious, so why don’t we let her tire herself out while we eat?”

“Fortune favours the bold and the foolish, though there is a fine line between the two.” Jerking in surprise at the unfamiliar voice, I find the veiled Guard Leader sitting beside Sarnai at the table. How I didn’t see her until now I’ll never know, since a woman covered head to toe in black silk is hard to miss. After several seconds of looking my general direction, she brings her cup behind the veil to sip her tea before saying, “This creature possesses a body stronger than normal and is on the cusp of forming a Spiritual Heart. No doubt it’s eaten many Spiritual Plants over the years.” In a smug tone, she adds, “Taduk will have a fit when he finds out.”

It takes a second for her words to sink and my eyes widen in panic. “Shhh! You should use Sendings for dangerous information like that, what if someone overhears?” Even if it’s a rabbit who has yet to form one, people will kill for a Spiritual Heart. I have enough enemies as it is, thank you very much. I don’t need more reasons for people to want me dead.

Sorry mama bun. Once your babies are weaned, it looks like you’re going into a stew.

With a dainty snort, Guard Leader dismisses my concerns. “Anyone strong enough to eavesdrop in my presence will care nothing for a Spiritual Heart the size of a grape. Take good care of the creature, it might well be the strongest bicorn rabbit in existence, first among trillions.”

...Well fuck. Do I have to? Mama bun’s not even affectionate, she still trying to pulp my calf into mincemeat.

As if reading my thoughts, Alsantset Sends, “Do as she says, it’s the least you can do after being so rude during your trip to Sanshu. We will speak about your poor manners once lunch is finished.” Clapping her hands, she says out loud, “Enough tarrying, I fear grandpa’s belly will devour itself should we delay any longer.”

Beaming at being called ‘grandpa’, Husolt thumps the table in approval. “Good grandchild, the only one looking out for these old bones.” Pinching Mila’s cheek, he teasingly adds, “See how proper and filial little Alsantset is? You could learn from your niece.”

It’s weird to think of Baatar, Mila, and Li Song as siblings. For starters it means I’m engaged to my aunt, a concept which I find highly erotic. It's like incest without the risk of deformed, sickly children.

Incest? More like Wincest.

Distracting mama bun with some leafy greens, I leave her to terrorize my pets and hope Jimjam or Sarankho settle the issue for me, but it doesn’t seem likely. I trained them too well and they’re treating mama bun like an inquisitive, annoying toddler, with extreme indifference. Glancing around the table, I’m gladdened to see so many smiling faces, though Taduk’s absence and Guard Leader’s veiled visage ruins the atmosphere. I understand why my teacher isn’t here, he probably lost track of time while doing Runic research, but why is Guard Leader here and, more importantly, why does she eat with the veil on? I bet she’s hiding a disgusting deformity underneath and Taduk is helping her treat it. Can’t think of another reason an expert like herself would stoop to guarding my sweet little wifey.

After feasting on a sumptuous meal and belatedly remembering to send something to Gerel, I lean back for a post-gorging stretch and enjoy the foreign sensation of personal space. Tali and Tate are busy crowding Baatar and Sarnai while Lin’s been on her best behaviour today, acting all proper and ladylike. To top it all off, my pets are all too busy avoiding mama bun to come begging for food, leave me free to enjoy my meal in peace and quiet. She might be a dumb, floppy-eared, flea bag whose existence will paint a target on my back, but mama bun has her uses.

Tsk, look at me using all these speciest slurs against rabbits. Guess I’m a closeted hare supremacist. Then again, I still don’t know how to differentiate hares from rabbits. Maybe I should get a pet hare to pacify Taduk’s inevitable outrage, but oddly enough, I’ve never seen a hare before. I’ve run into plenty of exotic animals like terror birds, jatuyas, ursagons, carnugators, saurophages, and garos, but no hares. Then again, if Taduk is to be believed, the hares in this world run through the clouds and feed on flesh, so I’m not sure if I even want to see one, much less keep one as a pet.

...Ah who am I kidding? I’d keep a wolf or tiger if I could, so why not a hare? As long as it’s cute and friendly, I’m keeping it. I might have a pet hoarding problem, but if all my pets are clean, well-cared for, and don't maim anyone, is it really a problem?

Once lunch is finished and all pleasantries at an end, people begin leaving in ones and twos. Sarnai and Baatar are first to go followed by Husolt and Mila heading back to work. Intending to leave with Li Song for our daily group spar, Akanai asks me to stay behind. Taking it as their cue to leave, the room empties except for Akanai, Guard Leader, myself, and mama bun who wanders the room marking her territory with scentless poops and stinky pees. If it wasn’t for Guard Leader’s presence, I’d be worried this was a haranguing from Akanai for bringing this tiny little poop machine into her home.

I shouldn’t be surprised. Forget trials and tribulations; The true way of the world is food goes in, poop comes out.

Since neither one of these powerful women seems ready to speak, I busy myself cleaning up after mama bun, much to the little fur bag's dismay. Ignoring her attempts to batter me into submission, I patiently wait for someone to tell me what’s going on while scrubbing poop and pee off the stone floors, eternally grateful for mama bun’s dislike of carpets. I’ve been spoiled by quins, they’re so picky about where they do their business they house-trained my other pets.

Hey, maybe Pafu or Suret will eat mama bun. Then I don’t have to worry about taking care of a walking, breathing, Spiritual Heart.

After long, stifling minutes of silence, Guard Leader loses the challenge of who can keep quiet longer. “I still think it better to exile him. This boy brings nothing but trouble.”

...Wait, what? I’ve been in danger of exile?

“This boy,” Akanai replies, her tone curt and to the point, “saved your youngest Disciple.”

“Hmph. A weakling for letting himself be influenced so. I’d be better off without him. Exile him too.”

“Without Rain, we would not have known until things were too far gone. History might have repeated itself with Gerel at its head.”

“It still might. We only have the boy’s word they’ve been cleansed. He could be wrong or worse, lying.”

“Or he could be right and hold a weapon against corruption.” Sipping her tea, Akanai looks calm and in control, and although Guard Leader is veiled, her fidgeting betrays her anxiety. Does she really want me gone so bad? I knew the People weren’t happy with me but I didn’t think things were so dire.

Finding my voice, I ask “No one can overhear us?” Once I receive confirmation, I continue, “Is this because I was Tainted?”

Akanai hesitates for a split second, not long, but enough to be meaningful. “In part,” she replies, without divulging any more.

“By your own admission, you were a hair’s breadth from becoming Defiled.” Guard Leader chimes in and I can imagine the cold stare behind her veil. “You saw firsthand what will happen if word of your Taint spreads. The Empire will hunt us to extinction. If you truly cared about your family, you would leave now and never return. Whether you go south to live in seclusion or west to die fighting the Defiled, whatever you do, your family will be safer for it.”

“One step from Defiled?” After repeating her words, I stroll to the window and stare out before turning back. “Now I’m one step from death. Except like before I choose not to take that step.” Belatedly worrying she might shove me out, I move back to the centre of the room, with mama bun’s constant headbutts interrupting my stride and taking away all my gravitas. Stupid rabbit, learn to read the room. “The Spectres are a plague and I their victim. Yes, I came close, but I did not take that last step, nor do I believe I ever will.” Nor will Baledagh, not while I’m still in existence.

Sighing softly, Guard Leader shakes her head. “You say you chose, but I believe otherwise. You were saved by a fortuitous encounter. The Purge pushed you to the precipice and you ached to rebel, to smite your foes and impose your will no matter the cost. Had you the means, you would have killed the Shrike and damned the consequences.” Stroking my cheek in an oddly tender gesture, she whispers, “Your resolution and conviction make you dangerous in more ways than one. You humans shine so bright, like a candle on its last flame. You care so little for the future because you will not live to see it, but we must look farther.”

Unbelievable. “You think I was wrong to oppose the Purge? You believe inflicting pain and suffering on thousands of innocents the right thing to do?”

“A drop in the bucket compared to the lives lost should the Defiled find a foothold in the Empire.”

“They have one now don’t they? They took the Western Province.”

“Then the lives lost if the Empire turns on the People.” Sighing once more, Guard Leader turns to Akanai. “You see? He is stubborn and insubordinate, antagonistic and dissident. He’s already risked our safety for the lives of powerless strangers, simply because he believes he is right. He’s a danger to us all and must be dealt with before it is too late. You think he will sit idly by once he comes into power of his own? Already he is poised to rise to prominence, winning noble families to his side through his actions and training warriors loyal to his cause instead of our own. Mark my words, this one is a harbinger of chaos and disorder, a dangerous firebrand in a world filled with tinder. Exile him and be done with it.”

Akanai’s silence lasts an eternity as I hover between disbelief and outrage. Guard Leader’s accusations hit too close to home for comfort. I never thought about how my actions put everyone in danger. Though it felt right and just, by opposing the Shrike and the Purge, I came dangerously close to putting the People in direct opposition to the Empire, something which I can only imagine would end in tragedy. If it wasn’t for Yuzhen’s mediation or the Shrike’s insane attempt to take me prisoner, the whole debacle might have blown up in my face. Akanai’s always going on about retreating to the mountains but they only serve as a deterrent to the Empire’s armies, not a barrier.

Maybe I am selfish and stupid, too wrapped up in how things should be to accept how they are. A drunken taunt from my lips directly led to a massive conflict between the People and the Society. My actions during the Purge, no matter how well-intentioned, put everyone I know in grave danger.

Who’s to say I won’t do it again?

Guard Leader is right. The Bekhai are better off without me.

Before I can drum up the courage to speak, Akanai breaks the silence. “I have nothing to say. Exiling him is your decision, not mine.” Stepping over to stand beside me, she wraps an arm around my shoulder and smiles before continuing. “Know this: Rain is my grand disciple and grandson. Exiling him is the same as exiling me and the rest of my family. Make your choice woman. My grandson has an appointment to spar.”

I always believed I lucked out finding a family who loved me.

I didn’t know the half of it.

Chapter Meme