Savage Divinity

I love waking early.

I don’t mean early as in the wee hours of the morning, but early as in before I’m expected to wake. It’s counter-intuitive, but I’m happy to trade a few minutes of sleep for some much needed snuggle time with all my sweet floofs. Well, not all of them, because there’s no way they’d all fit in my bed, so in the interest of fairness, I’ve been rotating them through a snuggle schedule. Today’s lucky contestants are Flopsy and Quake, both curled up together in the crook of my arm as one grey and white mass. Mama Bun is here too of course, stretched out across my chest and alternating between soft bunny snores and smacking her lips, dreaming of a delicious meal as she so often does. Aurie as per usual is laid out over my legs, sprawled out in what looks to be the most uncomfortable posture ever, while Roc roosts in a pile of laundry he claimed for himself, all heaped together atop the nightstand sitting right next to my bed.

Quiet bunny snuffles, rumbling kitten wheezes, and faint birdy whistles fill the room, and for a few sleepy, blissful minutes, all is right in the world.

Then reality rears its ugly head and reminds me that the banquet is tonight and this might well be the last comfy morning of my life, which pretty much ruins the whole peaceful atmosphere.

Between the minor anxiety attack and my pressing need to use the chamber pot, I reluctantly slide Mama Bun off my chest and ease myself out of bed. Despite my careful efforts, my sleepy animals come awake and greet me with sleepy stares, adorable yawns, and captivating stretches. Much better to concentrate on those than looking around for the Concealed Warriors standing guard, but even as the thought strikes me, my eyes scan the bedroom and pick out six hidden individuals scattered about in various shadows. Although I can’t identify them in any way, I know from experience that two are Sentinels, two are Imperial soldiers, and two are former Aspirants, because none of those groups trust the others to guard me on their own, which means I have to put up with having a hidden entourage of at least six people everywhere I go.

I really, really, really hope that this constant surveillance is a recent development, because the alternative would leave me with no choice but to curl up and die of shame. Forget pooping, I used to masturbate like every other day. It’s the hormones I tell you, they’ve got me in a constant state of frustrated arousal.

It takes a monumental effort of will to use the chamber pot without bursting into flames, and only because I brought in my wooden, outdoor bath dividers to give myself the illusion of privacy. The move was more controversial than expected, as it sparked off a heated and informative debate about the dangers of a hidden blind spot represented to both me and my Concealed guards. I already knew Concealment wasn’t true invisibility, but rather a means of affecting the perceptions of nearby observers. What this means is that when I look at a Concealed individual, my eyes are perfectly capable of seeing them, but my conscious mind doesn’t register their presence, even though my unconscious mind does and keeps me from bumping into them. This works on more than just the visual level, as it filters out sounds and smells as well, and true masters of Concealment are said to be capable of fooling even the sense of touch and Chi.

This last point was of particular interest to me, because before my newfangled anti-Concealment vision kicked in, I used to wave my arms around like an idiot when searching for Concealed assailants in enclosed spaces. What’s more, it explains how others check rooms for Concealment, by simply expanding their Domains to do a quick sweep. This whole time I’ve been envisioning Domains as spheres, but in reality, they’re actually shaped like the Martial Warrior’s bodies themselves, as if someone drew an outline of themselves and then enlarged it. Not by too much, as Domains generally extend from ten to thirty centimetres in all directions. They can be much smaller, like with BoShui, whose Domain barely extends past his skin, but it’s rare to see one that goes beyond one metre in radius.

Which is not at all what I expected, since my short-lived, wooden-roofed Domain was the size of a large bedroom. I have no idea what to make of that, and seeing how I was pretty traumatized at the time, I’m ready just to chalk this all up to faulty memory.

Putting the unusual aspects of my personal experience aside, I’ve been told that while Domains naturally form in the shape of the Martial Warrior, they can be manipulated into other configurations. So long as the total ‘volume’ remains the same and stays attached to the surface of your body, you can shift the bulk of your Domain around and turn it into say... a long tendril of Chi. You can then use said tendril to sweep your surroundings for Concealed hostiles, because Domains cannot overlap and there’s a tactile response when you encounter one. Granted, this method isn’t foolproof as there are ways (which remain unknown to me and most) for Martial Warriors to avoid detection, which is why on the first day of our journey, Binesi’s sweep of my yurt found the hidden Aspirant hanging on the roof-beams, but not Naaran standing off to the side of the room.

All interesting stuff, but my ‘unreasonable’ need for privacy while pooping has thrown Binesi for a loop. See, Concealed guards usually work in pairs for multiple reasons, prime amongst them being that the drawback with searching for Concealed hostiles using one’s Domain is that the moment you uncover someone, you also reveal yourself to them, because they can easily ‘follow’ your Domain back to its source. As far as all parties are concerned, you’re all still Concealed, but unless one of you knows how to fool Chi senses too, then you might as well have giant, fluorescent arrows over both your heads labelled ‘Concealed Expert here’.

Of course, the metaphorical giant arrows are only visible to the sweeper and the sweepee, which is one reason why Concealed guards work in pairs. One does the sweeping, while the other remains hidden and ready to strike against possible revealed assailants looking to escape. The problem is, this method of detection isn’t perfect, so Concealed guards also make physical sweeps, just to cover their bases. This makes my provisional poop-room a danger-zone, because it forces my guards to funnel through a small opening while searching for hidden assassins. Super dangerous according to Binesi, so now I have to move the heavy wooden dividers into place every time I need to poop, and then move them back against the wall when I’m done.

It’s annoying, but a small price to pay for privacy. I sketched out a few ideas for a ring of curtains I can set up inside my yurt, but it’ll have to wait until we’re back in the Northern Citadel. The alternative is I learn how to Conceal myself, but that’s a whole lot of work just to poop and masturbate in privacy...

After my morning constitutional and general skincare routine, I head out in casual dress robes for breakfast, since wearing fancy clothes to meals is a recipe for disaster. As per usual, Pong Pong is nowhere to be found, likely already splish splashing away in the tiny pond he shares with Ping Ping, Sir Inky, and the quins. I’m still not sure if I want to bring Pong Pong with me to the big banquet tonight, because I’m worried the Legate will spot him and wonder why this tiny turtle has a ginormous Natal Palace. Problem is, I can’t exactly leave Pong Pong at the manor, because if things go south at the banquet, Jorani and Ral have orders to book it out of the Citadel with all my pets in wagons. Since Pong Pong refuses to reveal himself to anyone besides Lin-Lin, Taduk, and Mom, all of whom will be at the banquet with me, this means that in the event of an emergency, there’s a decent chance Pong Pong will be left behind.

I suppose that’s it then. I gotta bring the little guy with me to the banquet and hope the Legate’s Natal Palace peeking skills doesn’t extend to piercing through Concealment. Maybe I can keep the tiny turtle tucked away in a pocket somewhere, with a whole stash of fresh shrimp, but then I’d hafta worry about him pooping all over me...

Despite my early arrival, everyone else is already more or less ready for breakfast, save for Charok who is still slaving away in the kitchen, and Luo-Luo who is still busy doing... whatever it is she does to get ready every day. Hell if I know, because as far as I can tell, she doesn’t usually wear makeup, yet somehow manages to look gorgeous all the time regardless. “Morning everyone.” Cracking the door open just enough for Aurie to get through, I use my foot to keep the bunnies at bay while I slip into the dining room and close the door behind me. Usually, I’d be more than happy to let them hop around my feet while the whole family eats, but the most recent addition to our happy little family has yet to acclimate to her new surroundings. “Good morning Princess,” I croon, moving a little closer to the snarling weasel-bear propped up in Song’s lap. “Aren’t you looking adorable today?”

Aside from the vicious snarl, rumbling growls, and steady stream of saliva dripping from her narrow, fanged jaws, of course. Dressed in a frilly, flower-embossed garment which leaves her furry belly exposed and a yellow ribbon daintily tied about her neck, Princess the weasel-bear is a darling creature with a ferocious temper and pungent scent. The odour isn’t exactly unpleasant, just... powerful and somewhat overwhelming, but it scares the bears and wildcats something fierce and sends the quins and bunbuns into a vicious, violent frenzy. Song’s been working on integrating Princess with the other animals, but it’s not going so well. In fact, the whole reason Princess is wearing a dress is because we have to somehow smuggle her into the banquet tonight, since much like Pong Pong, Princess trusts no one besides her favourite person.

If someone asks, I’ll say Princess is a hat in training. God that would be so adorable to have her stand on my shoulders and perch on my head. This sucks. I wanna pet her floofy belly and those cute, clutching paws, but Princess is a biter and I’d rather not feed her any fingers. Granted, losing chunks of myself to new pets has become something of a running gag by now, but this is as good a time as any to break the trend of floof-on-Rain violence.

After failing to pet the adorable weasel-bear a few more times, I glance around the room and find Mom and Alsantset staring off into space with a faraway look in their eyes. They’re still ruminating on whatever Insights they found while meditating in Taduk’s bamboo grove, who is conspicuously absent from the dining table since he’s taken to sleeping in now that there’s no Spiritual Herb garden to obsess over. Mila, Yan, and Lin-Lin are also sleeping in, as is per usual, but we’re joined by Grandpa Du and his recently adopted grandson, Kyung, with the latter sitting in stoic silence while the former plays silly word games with the twins. Though cramped and busy, the small dining room still feels a little empty with so many people missing, but I suppose it’s for the best. There are really only five empty seats left once you account for Charok and Luo-Luo, and we like to leave two on either side of Song so Princess doesn’t devolve into a snapping, slavering mess, so at most, we can really only fit one other person at the table.

With no one to really talk to, I pass the time comforting my poor, trembling floofs, all of whom are pressed together in the corner behind me, as far away from Princess as they can possibly get. Honestly, I don’t know why they’re so scared, since the weasel-bear has yet to do more than snarl and snap, even when Mama Bun landed a clean headbutt on the poor girl’s dangling butt. From what I can tell, Princess is more scared of everyone else than we are of her, so it’ll be a while before the sweet floofs all get along.

Hearing her arrive long before she reaches the door, Luo-Luo hums a merry tune as she glides into the dining room and shuts the door behind her with baffling ease, as there isn’t a single intruding bunbun to be found. Beaming beautifully as she makes her way around the table, she greets everyone with a lyrical and informal, “Good morning everyone,” before taking her seat beside me, as the twins have claimed the chairs on either side of ‘great grandpa Du’. “How are you this fine morning, Lord Husband? I trust you slept well?”

“I did, yea.” Small talk, ugh. “...how about you?”

Reaching back to pet Jimjam, Luo-Luo’s smile grows even brighter. “Like a baby, until this one woke me to demand I share my pillow. I swear he thinks he’s a little person, entitled to sleep tucked under the blankets like everyone else.”

...Dammit that sounds adorable. Why doesn’t Jimjam do that around me? “Cute.” Now what do we talk about? “So... what’s on the agenda for today?”

I’m terrible at this, but Luo-Luo takes the awkward segue in stride. “Nothing too pressing, thank the Mother. We’ve already met with most of the important players yesterday, so today is for less influential factions and unlikely allies. No need to worry Lord Husband, I made sure we would have plenty of time to prepare before the banquet tonight. After breakfast, you’ll only have a short break to play with the Guardian Turtle before our first appointment at...”

As Luo-Luo lays out my schedule for the day, I inwardly groan at the prospect of another long day of socialization and politics ahead. My first full day in the Central Citadel was spent dancing to the Legate’s tune, so I figured it’d be harder for him to jerk me around if I padded my schedule with events, but I didn’t expect Luo-Luo to set such a frenetic pace. There’s no helping it of course, because if I visit one ally, like the Ryo’s, I can’t well snub my other allies, like the Yo’s and other merchant partners I’ve helped make richer, which means a lot of travelling around to shake hands and smile with everyone who’s anyone. I had tea with Chen Hongji to congratulate him on his recent promotion, bought lunch for Tam Taewoong, Wu Gam, and several other friendly junior officers I became acquainted with in Sinuji, and hosted a ‘small’ dinner party with Taiyi ZhuShen, Taokang Geyan, Lishan Suzhen, and the other Healers who checked my health in Sinuji, which meant paying a restaurant an exorbitant fee to reserve the entire building for the night.

And those are just the highlights. There were so many ‘impromptu’ and ‘fortuitous’ meetings, I can barely keep it all straight, and all in one, painfully long day. Honestly, I enjoyed the first day more, when I was almost stabbed and poisoned to death. At least I had time to nap during the opera and got to verbally slap a stranger in the face...

As Charok glides in with breakfast, Luo-Luo and I break off our conversation to collect the bunbun invaders hopping at his heels. Truth be told, I probably didn’t even have to help, as all of them happily follow Luo-Luo back out into the courtyard, drawn there by her emotive singing which is oh-so-pleasant to the ear, as well as the handfuls of treats she so generously doles out. If this were an animated movie, she would undoubtedly be cast in the role of pure, kindhearted princess, which is just... rage inducing. I want to be the musical princess beloved by animals...

Of course, seeing her so happy and carefree causes my primal urges to rise up once again, before I stomp them back down into the abyss. “So yesterday was for meeting important people, and today is for not important people,” I begin, while leading her back into the dining room and leaving the bunbuns snacking in the grass behind us. “So... if they’re not important, why are we visiting all these nobodies?”

“Oh Lord Husband, you shouldn’t call them that, even in jest.” Smiling as she gently swats my shoulder in reproach, she explains, “Four grams can repel a thousand kilograms, so long as it is applied correctly. While the people you are meeting today have little influence on their own, gather enough of them behind you, and even the Supreme Families will think twice before acting, or at the very least they can help deal with your lesser enemies. Soldiers against soldiers, generals against generals, this applies to politics as well as it does to war. What’s more, this will also help restore your tarnished reputation, as rumours and hearsay are easily ignored, but most find it difficult to refute the truth standing before their eyes, hale and healthy as can be. Since you must be seen, why not use this opportunity to garner good will and influence? Many of these people have been overlooked and will not be in attendance at the banquet tonight, but they will see that you took time out of your busy schedule to meet them and give face, which will be remembered, appreciated, and reciprocated.”

“Ah yes. Face.”

My dry tone earns me a muffled snort from Mom and disapproving glances from Luo-Luo and Grandpa Du, as well as a withering glare from Kyung which may or may not just be his default expression. I think I’m getting the hang of being a functioning member of society, but I’m still not entirely sure what I did right back at the opera house, even after spending several hours chatting with Luo-Luo, Grandpa Du, Mom, and Binesi regarding the matter. I sort of get it, but I’m still not confident enough to say I’m wholly socialized, but then again, I’ll probably never want to be.

Leaving it at that, I sit down for a hearty breakfast and go over everything Luo-Luo just said, trying to force myself to understand and eventually fall into the same mindset. It’s harder than I thought it’d be, because it still feels strange. Essentially, I’m going out to ‘buy’ support and influence by giving gifts and face, which isn’t a bad thing because there’s nothing wrong with blatant nepotism. That’s just alien to me, not because it’s happening, but because we’re being so... obvious about it, with cash and valuables aplenty. I’m pretty much bribing people to speak fondly of me, and I’m doing it in an open and aboveboard manner, which is just another way in which I don’t understand the culture.

Bribes are supposed to be under the table, so that even if everyone knows they’re happening, no one has any specific examples to point at. That’s just how business works, or at least, that’s how I thought it worked. Instead, we give bribes in the open here, so people will know and remember. This way, if someone doesn’t fulfill their end of the social bargain, then everyone will see them for the ingrates they really are, or something to that effect.

Whatever. If Luo-Luo says this is the way things work, then I just have to trust her. She’s not making it easy though, since she claims we’ll have plenty of time to prepare for the banquet, but the nature of bit players is that there are a lot of them, so I don’t see how it’s possible to visit so many people in one day. I’m not left wondering for long though, as the ‘how’ becomes immediately apparent as soon as we arrive at our first appointment, who turns out to be one of the many smiling faces standing on stage behind Yo Shi Woo the first day we arrived. Coached by Luo-Luo on the way over, I greet the man warmly, introduce him to Mom, hand over a gift, and excuse myself immediately after on Luo-Luo’s silent prompting. Apparently in those few seconds we met, she somehow gleaned that the man was staunchly opposed to taking a stance, so there was no point wasting time with him, so we set off for the next name on the list.

Since I have no idea what I’m supposed to be watching for, I eventually just go through motions in every meet and greet, but even this is mentally exhausting without the added burden of trying to follow Luo-Luo’s logic during her constant updates on where we stand. The politics of tonight’s banquet are almost impossible to grasp, because it’s not as simple as us against them, or even me and the Legate against the world. At least that’s what Luo-Luo tells me, and I’m inclined to agree, except I don’t really have a valid reason to trust anyone thanks to my innate paranoia.

Eventually, after a frustrating back and forth, Luo-Luo finally broke it down for me in terms I could understand. Tonight’s banquet isn’t about me, nor is it even about the inherent value of Imperial Status bestowed upon outsiders, not really. It’s about some Imperial dick-measuring contest in which we are merely a small part of, and we have no idea what the overall argument is about. Instead, I should concentrate on my own goals, which is to show that not only am I still deserving of my title as Imperial Consort, but that I am also deserving of the respect my lofty title entails. Others are not so convinced, because if I were truly considered an Imperial Scion, then why was I railroaded by the Justicars and sent to Sinuji to die? Was it a plot to get rid of a disgraced cripple, or a ploy to lure my enemies out from hiding? Is the Legate firmly in my corner, or was I merely the victim of Imperial Clan politics? If it’s the latter, then this means it’s safer for most factions to stay away from Imperial politics, because the costs of an Imperial Title would then far outweigh the benefits since accepting one means placing yourself at the mercy of your backer.

Essentially, it’s better to be the big fish in a small pond than move out to the ocean and be little better than a bottom-feeder.

There’s also the minor matter of ensuring everyone believes I am on the road to recovery after shattering my Core, but that’s neither here nor there, according to Luo-Luo. I still think it’s pretty damned important, but she says that the Legate’s support or lack thereof would render anything I do on that front completely useless. Even if I were frail and unable to stand, if the Legate were to publicly support me, then nothing else matters. Conversely, my performance at the opera theatre and tea house would mean nothing if the Legate openly snubs me, because a potential recovery in the future means nothing if I’m killed today.

Fun fun fun.

All this means that while I’ve been trying to draw lines in the sand between allies and enemies, Luo-Luo’s been putting together a sprawling mental flowchart of factions and motives. Nian Zu supports me because he believes it’s the best move for the Empire, but if it becomes more reasonable to sacrifice me and the People for stability, Luo-Luo believes he would do it in a heartbeat, and I can’t argue with her logic. Yuzhen is in similar straits, but I believe she’ll support me so long as Gerel supports Baatar, which puts her firmly in our corner. Problem is, she might not agree with how we go about things, so it’s entirely possible she does something with good intentions that ends up inadvertently screwing us over in the long run, though what this might be, I haven’t the slightest clue. Then there’s Shuai Jiao and Ryo Dae Jung, who are in the Legate’s pocket, not mine, and it remains to be seen where the Legate’s true allegiances lie, so I can’t count on any of them either. Last but not least is the Yo family, who will remain my allies so long as it is financially profitable to do so, and their loyalty is only guaranteed so long as said profits remain extravagant. Otherwise, I could easily see Yo Jeong-Hun selling me off to the highest bidder, though I doubt Yo Shi Woo would ever do such a thing.

Unless the price was something stupid high, like so high even I would be tempted to turn myself in for the reward. At that point, I’m not sure I could even blame him for stabbing me in the back, assuming we ever reach such a point...

Further muddying the waters is the fact that there aren’t just two sides to this conflict, but six, at least insofar as I am concerned. There’s my side, the Legate’s side, and the four other Imperial families make up the remaining sides, and if that’s not complicated enough, we don’t know who’s representing the other sides. We think the Situ Clan is working for the Yang family, but only because the manor I met Jixing in was owned by one of the Situ Clan’s allies. It’s entirely possible Jixing commandeered the place knowing we’d tie it to the Situ Clan just to lead us astray, and that his true cat’s paw is Colonel General Mitsue Juichi, except we have no way to prove or disprove this either. All we know is that Imperial Families would see Mitsue Juichi as a tempting target to work with, and that the old fart has publicly accused me of faking my infirmity, which somehow means I’m responsible for the deaths of Mitsue Hideo and his father, Mitsue Hiroshi.

Honestly, the leaps of logic some people go through are astounding. Mitsue Juichi claims I faked being a cripple and convinced the Justicars to send me to the front lines, just to trick Hideo into going along with me, whereupon I then somehow lured a million-strong army of Defiled to Sinuji so I could quietly murder Hideo and his father while everyone was too busy to notice, all because I’m somehow jealous of the dude Dastan beat in a spar on stage. Like... what the fuck am I even supposed to say to that? I didn’t even know Hideo was in Sinuji until a few hours before battle broke out, and Mitsue Watanabe, Juichi’s son, was the one who put Hideo on the wall beside me. If Juichi wants someone to blame, he can start by blaming himself for being a shitty Mentor and a shittier father, because fuck him and fuck his couch.

Okay, so I’m a little mad about the false accusations and would like to wring the old bastard’s neck. So sue me.

This is how complicated things are with my strongest and closest allies and enemies, so my brain sort of glossed over the rest of Luo-Luo’s explanations. All I really got out of it was that she sees the world through a complex and convoluted lens, and consistently places calculated costs and profits above matters like friendship and morality.

Which is just oh so sad...

The worst thing is, my part in tonight’s banquet isn’t even the main event. I’m just a side note, with my death as a means to slap the Legate in the metaphorical face. The Five Imperial Families are butting heads over something and using the outer provinces as their sparring stage, but Luo-Luo has no idea what they’re fighting over or why they’re doing it out here. All we can do is gather our allies and act accordingly when the time comes, but my true allies are few and far between. Even my enemies aren’t all that obvious, Mitsue Juichi, the Situ Clan, and Ishin family aside, because like I said earlier, there are six sides to this conflict and I have no idea who’s working for whom. Have they all gathered under the same Imperial banner, or are they each working for a different Supreme Family? Who knows. Not me, that’s for sure.

And you know what scares me the most? Even if the Legate paints himself as my staunch ally and places all his pieces to support me, we still might not be the strongest faction. You’d think that with three Colonel Generals and two Marshals, we’d be miles above everyone else, but while I have many individually powerful and influential people on my side, they only represent a small fraction of the power their respective provinces can draw upon. Conversely, Southern Marshal Quyen Huong, Warrant Officer Dienne’s uncle, represents the interests of the entire Southern Province, and as of two hours before the banquet, has yet to reveal where he stands in this game of Imperials. If he’s working with an Imperial Family who’s staunchly opposed to the Legate, then I have no idea how things will turn out, but I can only assume not well. As if this weren’t enough, MuYang’s informants are reporting that the southern representatives have all refused to meet with anyone and everyone, which is why I’ve thus far been unable to meet with Broken Blade Pichai and pick his brain for information on recovering from a shattered Core.

Everything about this sucks and I hate it, but there’s nothing to do except keep on keeping on. Thus, after a long day of social interaction, it’s a staggering relief to get back to the manor where I’m greeted by Lin-Lin’s sweet smile and airy flying tackle. After twirling her about a few times, we collapse into the grass and lay side by side in the courtyard, laughing as the bears, wildcats, bunbuns, and that one quin pup Grandpa Du keeps smuggling in all rush over to greet me. Much as I miss bringing them around everywhere I go, I can’t say I hate the warm reunions, because there’s nothing like earning the trust and loyalty of an animal.

Unlike humans, animals are open and honest about their feelings. You’ll know if an animal likes you, and they’ll definitely make it known if they don’t.

“Hi hubby.”

“Hi wifey.”

Passing Blackjack over so he can greet me with a kiss, Lin-Lin asks, “Where’s Luo-Luo rushing off to?”

“Oh, don’t mind her, she’s worried an hour isn’t enough time to get dressed for the party.”

“Eun-Eun is the same, she’s been fussing over Yan-Yan and Mi-Mi all day, bringing out so many different dresses, ribbons, and jewels just to settle on the ones I picked out beforehand. So silly, ya?”

“Exactly. You’ll all look beautiful no matter what, so why work so hard?”

“Really? You think so?”

“I know so, wifey.” Kissing her just above the eye, I nuzzle her cheek and smile while Mama Bun squeezes herself between us. “All of you are beautiful all the time, and you need not change a thing.”

Beaming prettily at the compliment, Lin-Lin tweaks my nose and giggles. “You’d make a great toady for Mi-Mi or Yan-Yan, like those silly, poofy dum-dums who are always following behind some smug blockhead. You could wear one of those headbands with the really, really long feathers, ya? Only one feather though, because you can’t have more than your blockhead boss.”

“I’ll happily be toady to your blockhead, wifey.”

“Noooooo! You’re the blockhead, blockhead.”

After a bit of back and forth about my sweet wifey’s day, I bring her hand to my lips and rest my head against hers. “You know the plan for tonight?”

“Yup. Stay with Daddy no matter what.” Tilting her head to smack me with her hare-ears, Lin-Lin scowls and says, “Don’t worry so much hubby. You just be you, and everyone else will be them, and whatever happens will happen, ya?”

“Wise words from a wise woman.”

Biting my wrist which is so conveniently located nearby her mouth, she scrunches up her nose in a huff. “I mean it hubby. You can worry all you want, but it won’t change what other people are gonna do. So just relax and do your best, then we’ll get through the rest together.” Snuggling into my shoulder, she points at the door and says, “In a few hours, you’ll probably stumble in slightly tipsy after a fun and yummy banquet, then curl up in bed with Mama Bun wondering why you worried so much.” Giving me a light kiss on the cheek, she grins and adds, “Besides, if they really want to kill you, they’d wait until later, like on our way back to the Northern Citadel again, ya?”

...well, she’s not wrong.

“What would I ever do without you, wifey?”

“Be all mopey all the time, instead of sorta mopey some of the time.” After sticking out her tongue with a smile, Lin-Lin seamlessly transfers into telling me all about how the floofs also moped all day while waiting for me to come home. It’s heartbreaking and adorable all at once, and I love every minute of it until Eun comes out into the courtyard with Song, Mila, and Yan in tow.

Frowning at us from high above, the stocky matron purses her lips and extends a hand to help my wifey to her feet. “Come now, miss Lin, let’s get you dressed for tonight’s event. You’ll look so lovely in your blue dress, though I still say it’s utterly scandalous to show so much leg. I thought little Yan was bold and brazen wearing those tight trousers of hers, but it seems you lot do things differently up north, like having unmarried men and women lying side by side in the grass.” Thankfully, she’s more concerned about us being seen doing these things than actually stopping Yan from coming over for nightly visits, as Central is weird about that. They’re all prim and proper in public, but all bets are off behind closed doors. Narrowing her eyes as I kiss Lin-Lin goodbye, Eun pointedly ignores me and turns to Kyung. “You look after the girls while I help miss Lin. We wouldn’t want any ruffians to take advantage while I’m not around to protect them.”

I probably should be offended, but she has good reason to warn me off. The ladies are looking lovely in their slinky, high-neck dresses, so similar to the ones they wore during new years, but brighter, shinier, and frillier. The leggy outfits aside, Yan and Song are also wearing matching jewelled hair-nets dotted with pink diamonds and emeralds respectively, while Mila’s wild curls have been tamed by Eun’s magical touch and sports a sleek, full-bodied hairdo accentuated by a lovely ruby-studded tiara.

Honestly, Eun was right to leave Kyung to guard them, because if not for him, I don’t think I could possibly keep my hands to myself. Not that I’d grope them in the courtyard or anything, but maybe take their hands or squeeze a hip or something. I’m even tempted to proposition Song, because I’d forgotten how... much she had hidden under her Runic armour, which she is currently not wearing.

Stop staring. And stop drooling.

Kyung looks snazzy too, in his high-collard, black-silk longshirt, almost like a pocket-less trench coat except the buttons go along the shoulder and under the armpit instead of straight down the front. Wide white cuffs sit at the end of his sleeves, matching the broad sash tied around his waist which holds his plain, leather scabbard in place. His long, brown hair is tied back in a neat ponytail and held up by an understated silver hair clip with a sinuous dragon etched across its surface, and to top it all off, he has a shiny gold tail ring that loops three times around his furry tail, which sweet Sarankho is currently batting about while lying on the ground behind him. “Looking good Kyung,” I say while looking him up and down, envious of how he looks so snazzy in such a simple outfit, whereas I always look like a kid in adult’s clothing no matter what I put on. “I have a white-jade token that would really complete the outfit, something to hang on your sash there. I’ll bring it out when I’m done changing.”

Kyung barely even nods in reply, but his hand shoots out to hold me back as I attempt to casually stroll past him and give Yan and Mila a quick kiss. A few more attempts end in similar failure, so I give up and head back to my room to change and grab Kyung’s new jade token. This is probably for the best anyways, as the last thing I need right now is for Mila to take my hand then forget to let go, like she did when she hugged Banjo yesterday for two hours straight. Apparently the poor guy struggled for a full twenty minutes before falling asleep, which sounds hilarious and adorable at the same time.

Seriously though, what is up with these Insights? Are Mila, Yan, and Alsantset gonna snap out of it anytime soon? I’m worried about marching into danger with them distracted like this. Then again, maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe Lin-Lin is right and nothing bad will happen tonight. It makes way more sense for the Imperial Nobles to try to kill me on my way back to the Northern Citadel, since they would’ve had the time to gather their forces here while getting ready for the banquet tonight. It stands to reason that tonight’s banquet will be a lighthearted affair with good food to be had, and by first light tomorrow morning, I’ll be on my way out of the Citadel and back home to Dad, where we’ll finally be safe and sound once more.

...So long as I’m in denial, I might as well say that the Mother Herself then comes down from the Heavens above to smite all my enemies and clear out this little Defiled problem we have brewing in the West, before bestowing me with phenomenal cosmic powers and crowning me as the Immortal God-Emperor of mankind.

If I’m gonna dream, then I might as well dream big, right?

Chapter Meme