The Kiss From Hell

It had been an overly eventful day. It wasn’t until late at night that John finished his assignment and became free. He didn’t return to the dormitory until after ten o’clock. His classmates were busy focusing on the entrance exam, to the point of not leaving the library, so the building was quiet overall.

“I’m tired…”

Quietly muttering to himself, John tapped his heavy shoulders while opening the dormitory door. As expected, the room was empty. He didn’t need to check to know that Valentine was in the library.

John was never weak, but no matter how hard he pushes himself, Valentine seemed to be like a spring that never dries. Valentine exercises every day after his regular class, and then studies until midnight. If Valentine wasn’t so concerned about John’s sleep disorders, he would be up all night in the library.

John felt sorry for not knowing that, but Valentine himself seemed not to care. Anyway, at this level, Valentine became the top student, and it was clear that he would easily enter any university he wanted.

“Sigh… I’m tired.”

John buried himself deep on the sofa and groaned. He started feeling ill at lunch, maybe because of all the running around he did. He felt uncomfortable, and the area around his belly button pricked up. John left his hazy gaze on the ceiling.

“…I have to wash up.”

But his whole body became numb, as if gravity was heavily pushing down on him. John blinked slowly, as he couldn’t overcome the rush of drowsiness and then closed his eyes. Falling into a rabbit hole that turned into a nightmare.

I have to wake up.

John, trapped in a nightmare, looked around and breathed out fear. As if he was going to be trapped there for eternity, and the thought paralyzed his brain. It was time for John to somehow get out of the darkness. All of a sudden the oxygen escaped from his whole body. Gasp. He grabbed his neck with both hands, but he still couldn’t breathe at all.

‘Uck, kuk…!’

While John struggled like that, his legs slowly sank into the sticky darkness. The swamp’s abyss, whose bottom was invisible, opened its mouth to the fullest, revealing his upcoming fate of being eaten.

“…”

John, who had painfully hardened his whole body, widely opened his eyes. It was all dark around him, he raised his upper body. His heart beat like crazy, as if it were going to rip apart.

“…Haa… ha…”

As soon as his reason slightly returned, a heavy sense of fear struck John this time. He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but now, he was left alone in the dark. As soon as he realized this, his whole body trembled. The shadowy darkness smelled of death. John looked around with wide eyes.

“Va… Valentine.”

His mind was blank, only one person’s name came up over and over again. John recited the name like a prayer.

“Did you wake up?”

John slowly jerked his head. Only then did he look at Valentine, who was lying next to him.

“You don’t have to get up.”

John’s arm was caught by Valentine’s outstretched hand, and his body fell back on the sheet. The familiar body temperature wrapped around John’s back finally made him breathe properly. Leaning against the sheet, John blinked while shivering.

By the way, I’m sure I fell asleep on the sofa earlier, but now I’m in bed. Valentine… Did he move me here? Due to his unstable mind, John couldn’t think properly, but he gradually calmed down.

“Did you sleep well?”

Valentine leaned over John. As John shook his head under the pressure of his back pressing into the mattress, Valentine buried his nose on the back of John’s neck. The high tip of the nose tickled John’s skin. John breathed briefly and opened his stuttering mouth.

“What time is it now?”

“Two in the morning.”

“When did you get here?”

“Recently.”

He wasn’t alone. Feeling relieved, John groped for the sheet and grabbed Valentine’s hand. It was an unconscious act to completely escape from fear. Holding his hand tight, John mumbled quietly.

“I thought you weren’t here. I thought I was alone.”

“…”

“I haven’t… had a shower yet, so I’m going to wash up.”

“John, you can’t sleep without me now?”

“Huh?”

John asked back in response, not answering the question. He couldn’t see Valentine’s expression, but John could tell that his voice was lower than usual. For some reason, the atmosphere was unusual. John, tossing and turning to remove the pressure off his back, soon gave up and gave a helpless response.

“It’s not like I can’t sleep at all, I know that.”

“…”

“But I don’t like it… What happened now too.”

“So, did you have a good dream?”

“What’s even a good dream? Anyway, step aside, Valentine…”

“What kind of smell is this?”

Valentine smiled a little and whispered in his ear. At first glance, it was a light tone, as if it were a joke, but had a sharp tint in it. It was when John, who didn’t understand his question, said back stupidly.

“…Uck!”

A sharp pain on his neck stiffed John’s body. Valentine bit John on the back of his neck, without going easy on him. John understood the situation too late and twisted his body. John’s heart began to beat faster because of the anxiety.

“What, what are you doing?!”

“Tell me, John.”

“What are you…”

“Where did you get the smell of a fucking bastard Alpha?”

John wasn’t familiar with that low voice. The mysterious ominousness made him hold his breath. John somehow twisted his body to get away from Valentine.

“…Uhm!”

However, Valentine grabbed John’s chin. The hot tongue invaded his mouth without resistance. John tried to turn his head, but the attempt failed because of the grip on his jaw.

“Uck…!”

It wasn’t the kind kiss as usual. There was a clear purpose in the pushing and rough movement that penetrated his mouth. Whenever the tongue, without any hesitation, swept past the weak mucous membrane, thoughts scattered in John’s head. Now Valentine’s kiss was sticky, like a sexual caress.

John somehow tried to push Valentine away, but his hands were rather trapped and pressed against the sheet. Struggling, John turned his head away from Valentine with all his might. Only then did Valentine’s tongue, which had been longing for the inside of John’s mouth, back off. John breathed roughly and inhaled the oxygen he lacked.

“Va-Valentine… what the hell.”

John couldn’t move his hands and his entire body was squashed by Valentine’s heavy weight. The situation didn’t look good. John protested with a gasp.

“You- what are you doing?”

“What did you do today and with whom?”

John’s body was as rigid as a piece of wood. If he wasn’t mistaken, a hard thing was slowly rubbing against the gap between his butt cheeks. John, being a man too, couldn’t have mistaken what it was. His thumping, roughly beating heart seemed to pop out of his throat. John froze and could barely move his tongue to let out his voice.

“This… What… D-don’t do it.”

“I tried not to be childish, but that doesn’t work.”

The whispering voice was as friendly as usual, but it also felt more cold. When John couldn’t answer, Valentine continued as if he was joking.

“You shouldn’t have talked about being with Joseph earlier.”

“What?”

“Did you think about how hearing that would make me feel, pretty boy?”

“Wait, Valentine…!”

John’s desperate cry dispersed in the air in vain. Holding John’s wrist in one hand, Valentine’s other hand went to his pants. The hand that dug into his underwear at once, grabbed John’s penis without hesitation. John’s eyes flashed white, when he felt the touch of another person for the first time in his life. His neck twitched.

“Ugh…!”

A smooth tongue touched John’s ear, and he could feel the hot breath panting against his skin. As Valentine licked the ear, John’s body shook and bounced like a fish thrown out of the water. Not missing the opportunity, Valentine began to slowly move his hand holding John’s dick.

“…Uck …Va, Valen…”

His back was twisted and the muscles all over John’s body became stiff due to the strange pressure. John struggled to escape somehow, but he couldn’t come to his senses because of the first stimulation he had ever felt. There was a sense that this situation was wrong, but that was all. In Valentine’s hands that were moving with a clear purpose, John could only gasp and rub his cheek on the sheet, not evening thinking about properly rebelling.

“S… stop….”

From the testicles to the tip, John continued to breath roughly, as the hands were stimulating him. Every time the large hand swept along his dick while firmly squeezing, his lower abdomen tightened and blood flowed to the waist. As John’s reason began to disappear, an erection appeared. While his head became more heated, he felt a chill.

“You must be feeling good.”

Before he knew it, Valentine smiled while squeezing John’s fully erect dick. At first glance, the voice was calm, but under it there was a strange sense of heat.

“Ha… ugh…”

Every time Valentine’s hands moved up and down, John’s vision blurred. John panted, struggling to catch his breath. John clenched the sheet and his lips. However, whenever he swallowed a groan, Valentine used more force, and in the end, a steep gasp escaped his mouth because of a mixture of pain.

“My hands, they’re slippery.”

The fluid flowing from the tip of the glan made a squishing noise in Valentine’s hand. A wet finger rubbed through the wrinkles under the glan, rolling the testicles like balls between his fingers. John could only see the stars, as he felt pleasure in the perineal part. Even though his heart was burning because of the shame, he groaned at the aggressive pleasure.

“Haa, hah…”

At some point, Valentine had released John’s hands. However, John only gasped and used them to grasp the sheets. As John dropped his head in the pleasure of reaching the limit, he licked up Valentine’s neck.

“Uh…”

John’s shoulder trembled again, at the sensation of strongly sucking Valentine’s neck strongly. A slight groan added to the volume of rubbing between their hips. The breath on his neck was burning hot.

“Ple… please… Now just, just sto… p.”

John was just about to push Valentine off because he couldn’t bear the feeling anymore. Suddenly his pants were dragged down, along with his underwear. A hot and hard chunk of flesh touched the gap in the thighs that was forcibly opened. John’s back was stiff. He was so emotional as he didn’t know what to do. Valentine buried his penis between John’s thighs and smiled quietly.

“John…”

Valentine grabbed John’s ass tightly. He began to move his waist slowly, squeezing his penis with John’s. Whenever the thick dick moved repeatedly through the usually tight flesh, the frictioned area heated up.

“Now… because of you, I feel dizzy.”

With an unsteady breath, Valentine pushed one of John’s knees. A huge cock slipped between the gaps of John’s buttcheeks. The large cock poked against the tight testicles and overlapped them, brushing against the firm erection.

“D-don’t, don’t…”

As if he couldn’t hear John’s feeble refusal, Valentine held on to his thigh. Valentine sighed languidly, as if the pressure felt good. Valentine, who enjoyed the tightening sensation, soon began to move his waist roughly.

“Ugh! Uck! “

John trembled, pressing his lips against the back of his hand as Valentine moved. His groin became hot, as if it were on fire because of the genitals that were rubbing against the inside of his thighs. The fluids from each other’s genitals were mixed in a mess.

“Uck! U… uh…!”

As John twisted his head sideways, Valentine bowed his back and kissed him, as if he was waiting to do it. Every time Valentine licked the inside of his mouth, which John couldn’t even shut properly, saliva spilled down the sheet. John knew that he shouldn’t be doing this, but his brain seemed to have melted all over. John was helpless, unable to come to his senses by the torrent of joy.

“John, look at me.”

With John under him, Valentine smiled. John blinked his blurred eyes and raised his gaze.

“Can you say my name?”

John’s body jumped from all of the pleasure that filled his body, as Valentine pressed him down. Valentine whispered leisurely, biting lightly on his trembling cheek.

“Then I’ll make you plead.”

“U-uck…”

“Quick.”

“Va… Val-valentine…”

Having let out his name, Valentine kissed John’s red eyes, as if Valentine said that John had done well. Unconsciously, John’s forehead and eyes were all sweaty. Instead of torturing John, Valentine squeezed his dick from underneath until John cumed.

“…Ugh…”

John’s mouth burst into exclamations. He was twitched by the excitement that swarmed him like a tsunami, and Valentine’s palms were wet with semen. As expected, Valentine tightly gripped John’s thighs, gripping them so hard it hurt.

“…”

The silence flowed where the joy was blowing.

John, who had been hanging helplessly, covered his eyes with both hands. He thought that he had lost his mind when his reasoning came back. A belated feeling of shock paralyzed John, as he thought of what they had just done. He didn’t have the courage to face Valentine.

The rumbling sound of the cloth disturbed John’s ears. The distant step came closer again, and a wet towel touched John’s groin. Despite the direct irritation, as that area was sensitive, John couldn’t even move his lips, which were shut tightly. Valentine touched John’s cheek, after he roughly finished cleaning him up.

“How long are you going to stay like that?”

“…”

“Look at me, John.”

John held out as hard as he could, but it was in vain, as his hands were removed. Valentine looked down at John, who was blushing more than usual. Disheveled hair, dreaming eyes, and rosy cheeks. Added to how beautiful John looked when he was begging, his face shone brightly in the dark.

John, on the other hand, felt unspeakably miserable and twisted his head with a tearful expression. Valentine looked at John’s face at close range. The body scent was sweet, as the distance narrowed between them.

“What’s wrong with your face? You look like someone who’s been through something bad.”

Valentine smiled and placed his forehead against John’s while staring at him, unable to hide his bewilderment. Valentine stuck out his tongue when John’s lips opened. As the red tongue licked inside his lips, John pushed him away.

“Don’t do it.”

“What?”

“…This, all of this.”

“Why?”

Valentine tilted his head, showing that he really didn’t know. Whether he really didn’t know, or pretended not to, Valentine was nothing, but despicable to John. However, John’s face turned hot when Valentine’s words followed without any objection.

“You liked it? You jumped up as soon as I touched it, moaned all the time, and got all fucked up.”

“S-shut up!”

“You don’t feel it, right?”

“What?”

John knew he was getting caught up in Valentine’s face, but there was no way he could do anything. It was time for John to answer unconsciously to a sullen question and curse himself. Valentine, who had his nose on John’s neck, took a long breath. Then Valentine whispered in a quiet voice, almost like a sigh.

“You’re covered with my smell right now, as if you’re saying that you’re mine.”

“Don’t say that…”

“Don’t think rubbish, John. If you’re in a good mood, that’s what matters.”

“…”

“Now that I’m here, you can sleep well. It’s been a tiring day.”

A big hand covered John’s forehead. Valentine patted John’s head several times with a gentle touch. John stared at him and stretched his lips.

“This way… don’t try to get away with it.”

“Shhh, it’s already three in the morning. I’m going to bed.”

John couldn’t protest because Valentine’s lips were sticking to him every time he tried. The strands of thought were scattered helplessly, as if his brain had stopped working due to the feeling of exhaustion after the assessment.

Stranded by Valentine’s whole body, John had to hear him whisper like a lullaby. Most of it was trivial chatter about what had happened at school today, so it wasn’t something worth to pay attention to.

John’s eyes, which had been in his own thoughts with a complicated mind, began to fall asleep. The low whispering voice slowly became drowsy, as if it were an order. Forgetting, John thought absent-mindedly.

What the hell are we doing…

John tried to sort out his thoughts somehow, but his eyelids drooped due to the uncontrollable confusion. Soon after, the darkness approached him. Unlike before, it was soft and not threatening.

* * *

John has been suffering from severe pain for several days. Rather than being for something in specific, it was because he was already in a physically and mentally unbearable condition.

John refused Valentine’s recommendation to go to the hospital because he didn’t want to be treated with just a cold. John wasn’t willing to spend the night alone in the hospital. But even if he took it lightly, John had to stay in bed without going to class for a few days.

Valentine blamed himself when he saw John suffering from anxiety. Valentine didn’t feel guilty from his actions, but because he didn’t notice John’s physical condition in advance as his guardian. Therefore, despite John’s dissuasion, Valentine returned home immediately after the regular class to take care of him. When John, who fell asleep unconsciously, opened his eyes in surprise, he felt a soft gasp.

In fact, John was very angry with Valentine. It was because John was belatedly displeased with the fact that Valentine ignored his will and acted arbitrarily. Behind it was the feeling of guilt and the confusion of doing something he shouldn’t have done, but John turned a blind eye to it.

But turning a blind eye didn’t make it alright. Sometimes, the memory of the day shook John without notice. The breathing in his ears, the weight of pressing his entire body tightly, and the heat of the hand that captured him. When such things came to mind, John felt a little short of breath.

Fearing Valentine’s thoughts, John chose to remain silent. Valentine also treated John casually, without mentioning anything about what happened. Somehow, they seemed to have the same routine as before.

John felt a strange feeling when he saw the calm Valentine, but as time went by, the anger of his complicated emotions faded. John felt a bit skeptical about Valentine’s evasive nature, but there was no way he could do anything. John just felt even more helpless.

“Are you up? How are you feeling?”

It was on Sunday morning when his condition had finally returned to normal, John overslept more than usual. Just in time, Valentine came into the room and handed him a mug. Picking up the steaming chamomile tea, John mumbled a small yawn.

“I feel better now. Thank you.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mn, I think I don’t have a fever anymore.”

A large hand swept his bangs back and covered his forehead. With a moderately good temperature, John unconsciously leaned his head into the palm of Valentine’s hand. Valentine rubbed John’s eyes lightly with his thumb, as if he were dealing with a child. The sensitive skin quickly turned red, as if John had cried. Valentine narrowed his brow slightly, while looking closely at John’s face.

“I think you’ve lost weight.”

“Really? I don’t think so.”

John was sick and couldn’t drink water properly, let alone eat. Due to that, his face looked sharper and more emaciated than usual. The wet, green eyes were clear and patient, the red eyes, sharp nose as well as the swollen lips on the pale face left a strangely grim impression.

“I’m sure. Let’s go eat something delicious when you get better.”

Valentine sighed as he looked into John’s face. A large hand touched his cheek, as if to soothe him.

“Why was it so painful?”

“Who knows… I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I don’t know why.”

“Are you stressed out about the entrance exam?”

It wasn’t such a serious test, so he didn’t have to get stressed. But John, who couldn’t be completely honest, smiled awkwardly and pushed Valentine away. The distance was too close and he was concerned about all of the touching. Yet, it was difficult to face Valentine in this way.

“I need to wash up for now. I haven’t had a good shower in days and I feel uncomfortable.”

“Can I help you? “

“What?”

“Cleaning you up.”

John’s movement stopped and he sniffed his shirt because it seemed like he had body odor. John, who remained silent for a while, soon twisted his lips. He was aware that he was overreacting, but it was also true that Valentine was insensitive.

“Forget it.”

“I want to help you.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Don’t be so heartless. Come here, John.”

The blue eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief, and suddenly Valentine rose from his seat and pulled John up. The force of pulling without notice caused John to stumble and fall. His feet that couldn’t touch the floor properly, twisted and his center of gravity collapsed. John, who hit his jaw on Valentine’s shoulder, had to swallow the painful groan.

“Valen…!”

In an instant, his shirt was rolled up and came off. Caught off guard, John stared at Valentine, with a gawky look on his face. Cold air swept over the exposed bare skin. John realized the situation when he saw his shirt in Valentine’s hand, and froze.

“What are you…!?”

However, the words he said were scattered before they were completed in a proper sentence. Shaa. Valentine, smiling, threw his indoor sweater over their heads. The blond hair in the morning sun was messy and left a sparkling afterimage.

The lightweight fabric fell on the carpet. Valentine swept his hair up with ease. Even in small movements, his strong muscles moved delicately, creating shades over the smooth skin. The wide, solid upper body seemed like an elaborate sculpture, and Valentine himself seemed to know it well.

“Let’s clean up together.”

Something even more shocking happened while the embarrassed John stood firm. Valentine threw off the pants and underwear that he was wearing, without taking his eyes off John.

“…You.”

John was shaken by the tightening of his heart. In a bright place, Valentine’s naked body was in front of him, which John had never imagined to face in this way. But it wasn’t only because of him that John was surprised. It was because the huge cock stood tall, pressing against the belly button with an erection. It was beyond John to look at the upright dick showing off its enormous volume.

“I’ll wash you, John.”

With a stark look on his face, Valentine smiled bitterly. Then he slowly swept up his crotch. As a result of the movement, the body, which was bulging, flinched like a living creature and raised its head.

“Mn? John…”

It was John who was intimidated, even though it was Valentine who was standing as himself. He slowly approached John with his eyes squinted. John unconsciously stepped back, but his attempt to distance himself away from Valentine was unsuccessful. It was because the outstretched hand pulled his arm. The grip on the wrist was strong, and the body heat was very hot. Valentine pulled around John’s waist. The moment each other’s bodies were in close contact, John’s heart pounded.

“What should I do?”

The distance between each other was so close, John could see all of Valentine’s features up close. He stuck out his red tongue and licked his lips slowly. Valentine whispered in John’s ear, who had forgotten to breathe and had hardened.

“I got this horny seeing you like this.”

John’s face turned red in an instant because of what Valentine had said. Waking up late, John turned his head in a hurry, as his heart couldn’t take it. Badump, badump. His heart pounded hard, as if it were going to jump out of his chest. John felt like fainting, as his whole body was tingling. A voice, which was as confused as his mind, flowed past John’s lips.

“You c-crazy, you’re…”

“What am I crazy about, Older Brother?”

Valentine deliberately used the word ‘Older Brother’ which he doesn’t usually use. John, who felt ridiculed, glared at Valentine. Then, Valentine slowly rubbed John’s waist, as if he had been waiting. The texture of the huge dick was felt through the thin pajama pants. John groaned silently without even realizing it.

“Tell me.”

The tip of his nose was woven in a short distance and his humid breath was mixed up with dizziness. When Valentine licked John’s lips, his swollen and cracked lips soon became soft. Valentine placed his lips on John’s ear and whispered quietly.

“Do you think we’ll get punished if we do this because we half share blood?”

“…Are you aware of all this nonsense you’re spitting out?”

“I’m sorry, for all this nonsense.”

“Valentine… why… to me… why are you doing this?”

At John’s bewildered question, Valentine remained silent as if wondering. But soon he answered brightly.

“I didn’t mean it. I was just going to give you a handjob. Didn’t you like it?”

“…Valentine.”

“Then, John, tell me. Why are you getting so worked up?”

John was frozen by those words. Undoubtedly, his penis was also swelling little by little, betraying his master’s will.

“…Get out of my way.”

With a trembling hand, John pushed away Valentine’s chest. However, Valentine asked him for an answer, rather than stepping back.

“Mn, John?”

Valentine’s voice on his cheek made John tremble. While John hunched his shoulders reflexively, Valentine pulled down his pants and underwear at once.

“D-don’t!”

John struggled, but as soon as his pants rolled down to his thigh, his erection raised its head, as if it had been waiting. The two genitals rubbed against each other. John lowered his head, gasping for breath. The sense of humiliation and excitement quickly disturbed his head.

“Don’t you want to admit it?”

Valentine whispered quietly to John, leaning on his shoulder.

“Actually, you want it, too.”

“…Uck.”

John breathed out of his gasp at the sensation of beating his back. His arms stretched out to push Valentine away with clenched fists. His stomach felt hot, where their genitals touched. Valentine, who caught John’s collapsing body, headed to the bathroom, helping him while hugging him. The glass door of the shower closed behind them, and hot water poured down John’s entire body soon after.

John closed his eyes, feeling the flowing water and Valentine squeezing his ass. Under the pouring water, the two naked bodies were tightly intertwined. Whether it was because of the pouring water or Valentine, John couldn’t even breathe.

“If you’re afraid to be honest, you can avoid me like now. You just stay that way.”

“Ha… huh…”

“I’ll say all of this is because of my egoism, so John, stop feeling that useless guilt…”

Let’s do what we haven’t been able to do.

At the same time, John’s body was turned around. In a mess, John supported his arms with the wall, and the pouring water soaked his dry back. Unconsciously, the shower was filled with steam and heat. John shook his head, feeling confused. He had no idea what was going on.

“John.”

From behind, Valentine pressed his body closer to John’s and pushed his thick penis through the thigh gap. When John trembled at the sensation from his groin, a low laugh was heard from behind. Valentine slowly moved his waist and kissed John’s skinny shoulders.

“…My John.”

The words he whispered flowed down the drain, before it could even be delivered to John.

* * *

John had never thought of himself as such an indecisive person, but in reality, in most situations, he was moderately firm and was on the good side. But when the subject became Valentine, the story completely changed.

John was helpless against Valentine. It was a proposition that had been clearly demonstrated by experience so far. Even so, John had never thought of being like that with Valentine, until that situation.

Valentine was the person who opened his eyes to a new world. There was no hesitation in the touch reaching out to John. The pleasure of touching the peripheral nerve to the max was a completely different level of experience from a playful kiss. It was overly stimulating, hot as hell, and sometimes even violent.

Sometimes, when John was weighed down with guilt, Valentine whispered that it was okay in his ears, like a spell. As such a relationship continued, John became paralyzed. John didn’t know how to stop Valentine. Also, captivated by Valentine’s taste, John couldn’t even think of stopping.

“Uh-hum…”

The wet sound rang in the empty art room. Two figures were tangled in the corner of the dizzy art room, with dust-covered easels, statues, and workstations. Standing face to face with John on the workbench, Valentine shared a rough kiss.

“…”

John broke the kiss and looked up at Valentine with his blurry eyes. John’s neat face was stained with sensational pleasure. A satisfactory smile formed on Valentine’s lips, as he looked closely at John’s face. Valentine breathed out a long breath and put his lips together again.

“No.”

John, who avoided Valentine by a hair’s breadth, shook his head.

“Why?”

Valentine swept John’s cheek with his nose, and chewed on his lips so that they wouldn’t hurt. As if it were hard to bear even a short moment away to share questions. His lips, which climbed up past the jaw line, kissed John’s earlobe with his tongue this time. Shaking his shoulders at the rising sensation, John could barely push Valentine’s shoulder. His delighted blue eyes saw him.

“We still have time until class.”

Valentine hugged John’s waist and held on like a child. However, John, who still had some reason, shook his head and pushed Valentine away once again.

“I’ve got to get going.”

“We’re both hard, are you really going to go like this?”

As Valentine said, both of them had an erection. Feeling troubled, John chewed on his lips. Valentine smiled lightly and leaned on John’s shoulder. Valentine fiddled with John’s waist, whispering in a sincere voice. It was a touch of regret.

“Why don’t we just skip class?”

“No. What are you going to do if we don’t go to class?”

When John came down from the workbench and asked him, Valentine answered without hesitation.

“I want to see your erection. And touch it, too.”

“…Shut up, Valentine.”

“Cool down.”

A large body surrounded John from behind. John’s shoulders were pressed down by the weight. Valentine lowered his head and bit his cheek softly, so it wouldn’t hurt.

“Okay. You go first. I’ll think about something else before I leave.”

“Another idea?”

“Because I can’t go out, without calming it down.”

“For example?”

“I don’t know… Anything that isn’t your idea.”

John smiled unconsciously as he mumbled those words, rubbing his cheek on Valentine’s neck like a child. Facing Valentine, John turned around and fiddled with his hair. John said, with his eyes on the blond hair that dispersed without resistance in his hands.

“Anyway… I’ll get going then. Have a good class.”

“Okay. See you later.”

Valentine kissed John lightly on his lips, smiled and opened his hands, as if he wouldn’t delay John. After checking the time, John left the art room. Unable to be seen together by anyone, they were in the annex farthest from the main building. John had to hurry because it was quite far from the next class. It was when John strode down the stairs, the cell phone he was holding in his hand vibrated.

Come back soon. Let’s do what we couldn’t do.

It was a message with an unusually cute emoji. John, who was laughing unconsciously, suddenly twisted his mouth. It was because of Valentine that John had acquired the energy to go on. No matter how hard John tried to think, it was inevitable that his heart would become heavy if he wasn’t with Valentine at all. Even now, the sense of shame that came to mind without any precursors, instantly tangled his mind.

“…”

The lips swollen from the stimuli, the sensation of the inside of his stomach, and the heat curled up in the center of the heart. There was a fresh awareness of what they had just shared. It was none other than abnormal and immoral pleasure. Seized by the sudden loss of his way, John blinked slowly.

No… Let’s not think too much.

Ha… Then, there was a heavy sigh through the gap between the thin lips. John shook his head, forcing his legs to stop before he knew it. There was no hesitation in moving stealthily, but the thought couldn’t fade away.

As he left the building, the cool spring air brushed his hot cheeks. The shadows of the afternoon’s sunlight stretched out from his feet. John walked mechanically and lowered his eyelids. Sharp canines, as if they were self-inflicted, prickled at the epidermis of the lips.

We can’t stay like this forever.

The time when he kissed Valentine, groped, and held each other’s genitals passed through his head. The complex feelings, which cannot be said to be mere guilt, felt heavy to the point of pressuring his heart. John’s head became distant, as if everything was suddenly rushing in.

Valentine and I… What the hell are we doing?

He knew his relationship with Valentine wasn’t normal. If someone found out their secret, everything would fall apart, they were playing a close game. Guilt and fear sometimes choked John.

But why am I…?

If Valentine came into his thoughts like that… John recalled Valentine’s smile. Looking at him sweetly and touching the most precious thing in the world.

“…”

At that moment, John felt a terrible pain rising deep inside his heart. He paused, reached out his hand and rubbed around his chest. If he did that, he would see what made him have that dull pain. However, the pain that made his heart throb only became stronger rather than less. John lowered his head with a short breath.

He wanted to know what this feeling was, but he also didn’t want to know. John forced down his anxiety, burying it deep in his heart and stepped back. It was just when he arrived at the main building, that there was a roar of laughter in the opposite hallway. Julian was walking with a group of students.

“No way!”

Julian, who was smiling with his head down to see if there was anything interesting, soon found John. Julian’s face, which had a bright smile, quickly became expressionless. He nodded slightly, as if to replace the greeting, and John also answered with an awkward smile. The distance between them narrowed, and John was just about to pass him.

“…Wait a minute.”

Suddenly John stopped walking, as his wrist was caught. When Julian, the center of the group, stopped walking, the eyes of the boys and girls, who were with him, also turned to John in unison. John looked at Julian with a strange look on his face, and looked around his friends.

“Why?”

A puzzled look turned around and reached Julian again. Despite John’s question, his firm face didn’t stretch. Julian, who was staring at John with a sunken face, as if his bright smile had been a lie until now, beckoned to his friends.

“You guys go first. I have something to talk to John for a moment.”

Julian, who had been standing firm for a long time after his friends disappeared, suddenly led John to another place. Then, he strode out of the building. John followed Julian in an unguarded moment, pulled his arm, but remained adamant.

“Julian… Wait! What are you doing?”

In the end, Julian let John go after they came quite a long way. After confirming that no one was around, Julian stepped back and crossed his arms. Unlike his weak appearance, he was stronger than John thought. Julian had strongly gripped John’s wrist, as if John would break free and run away. John rubbed his sore wrist.

“It’s weird.”

“What?”

Julian’s eyes narrowed when Johne answered, as he didn’t know the reason. With a look full of suspicion, Julian arrogantly raised his chin.

“John, do you know that you usually have the scent of Valentine’s pheromones?”

“Eh…?”

John blinked at the unexpected words. Valentine’s pheromones, he had never smelled them because no one had ever told John about it. Looking at John, who was dumbfounded, Julian laughed briefly, as if he knew John would be like that. A sharp insinuation ran past the pretty lips.

“No one would notice, because I’m sure everyone got used to it.”

“That, what do you mean?”

John also knew what an Alpha meant by leaving his pheromone on an Omega. It was a kind of a sign, saying not to touch the Omega because the Alpha was his owner. But Valentine and himself were Alpha and Beta, brothers before that. He had never even heard of Alpha leaving his pheromone on a Beta.

Can that happen if we spend a lot of time together? It was time for John to frown and fall into his own thoughts. Julian answered, as if he could hear them.

“Do you understand me? You guys were just like that from the beginning. If I hadn’t known Valentine first, I would have thought you were Alpha. I found out later that you’re Valentine’s brother… If you think about it, it was strange, but it’s even more different now.”

“Different?”

“It’s too dense. I might think you’ve been rolling around somewhere.”

“…Ah.”

John hardened his expression. He was caught off guard, and belatedly gave a foolish response. The tip of his ear became hot because he didn’t feel confident. John lifted up his shirt to cover his face, but of course there was no smell. Julian’s eyes, which were looking at John, were still full of doubts. John, who had no idea what pheromones were like, babbled on as if he were making excuses.

“Maybe it’s because we’re roommates, because I’ve spent so much time with Valentine.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never heard of that. And to say that…”

“…”

“…No.”

“What?”

“Actually, you…”

John awkwardly laughed at the words thrown at him. Although John didn’t listen to the backbiting, he was able to guess enough about what Julian was trying to say. 

You’re a Beta, so what do you know?

Feeling half relieved and half embarrassed, John rubbed the back of his head. Julian lowered his head and closed his mouth. The face full of depression was still elegant. After a brief silence, John asked him a cautious question.

“Don’t you meet with Valentine… these days?”

Julian reacted sharply, as if he had been slapped.

“Are you asking because you don’t know? Who are you trying to fool?”

“…I didn’t mean that.”

John, who couldn’t find anything to answer, eventually shut up. Then Julian started complaining, as if he had been waiting.

“Honestly, I don’t understand. I thought we were doing well.”

Julian raised his cat-like eyes, with his pounding heart. The big eyes were full of nervousness.

“When we even kissed, it suddenly got cold… I don’t know where it went wrong.”

John blinked with a blank look at Julian’s words. John already knew that there was something between the two. Even so, he felt shocked when Julian confirmed that. 

John’s heart sank sharply.

… Why the hell…?

John covered his mouth with the back of his hand to hide his shocked expression. John had no idea what to say, but it was hard to pretend not to see Julian, who seemed desperate, so John tried to calm down as soon as he could. He didn’t even know what Julian was talking about because of his nerves.

“Ah… I see. Why did Valentine do that…”

“Who knows, I have no idea. If I knew why, I wouldn’t be this frustrated.”

“…”

“John, you’re not seeing anyone else right now, are you?”

John bowed his head.

…Valentine and I are not in that kind of relationship.

“Mn, I’m not.”

After a moment of silence, John replied, and at the same time Julian’s face became a little brighter. The pretty face was covered with relief. Perhaps that alone made him more friendly to John. Julian had a faint smile on his mouth.

“Yes, I see. Can you let me know if you meet someone like Valentine? I don’t want to waste my time waiting for the impossible.”

“Yes… I will.”

With John’s answer, there was an awkward silence between the two. Since it seemed like there was nothing else to talk about, John was just about to say that he had to go. Julian mumbled with a little hint of hesitation.

“Thank you, John.”

* * *

He didn’t even know how the afternoon passed. John tried to concentrate in his classes, but it was hard to do so because of the sudden conversation with Julian.

When we even kissed, it suddenly got cold…

As a matter of fact, John felt that his mind was going in circles from his complicated thoughts. John, captivated by the awkward feeling he felt for the first time in his life, didn’t know what to do. He was impatient, and was really nervous. There seemed to be butterflies in his stomach.

Why does it matter to me whatever they did in the first place?

Even though John tried to think like that, he was as emotional as a boiling kettle. He knew well that he didn’t deserve it. Nevertheless, what John felt was a strange sense of betrayal toward Valentine. No, it was different from betrayal…

“Ah, damn it.”

John didn’t know why he was so frustrated about what happened in the past, John let out another heavy sigh. In the end, it was time for him, who failed to concentrate on his studies, to forget about it after throwing a pen to the desk. The cell phone rang, receiving a message.

-Are you running late today?

“…”

Recently, John felt as if something had been trying to possess him. No, he must have been possessed already. Otherwise, there was no reason to be so emotional in this way. John, who saw Valentine’s message, unconsciously rolled his lips inside and asked. He was really furious.

Valentine, how can you be okay?

Kissing… Julian.

“…Ha.”

At that moment John realized. The fact that the name of the emotion that was bothering him was none other than jealousy. Realizing the fact, John felt a momentary sense of distantness and closed his eyes tightly.

“Fuck.”

John buried his face in his hands,feeling helpless. The confused green eyes trembled aimlessly. Anyway, he wasn’t confident to face Valentine right now. It was because if John saw Valentine in this state, he would talk foolishly. John, who was worried for a while, roughly shoved his things into his bag and woke up. The place he headed wasn’t a dormitory, but a common place.

I’m sure I’ll feel better after sweating.

Thinking that way, John ran on the treadmill until he lost strength. He challenged himself, seeing how long he could go until his strength ran out. When his entire body was dripping with sweat, John felt his mind go blank. His legs were shaking, but he felt a little better. After taking a leisurely shower, John returned to the dormitory.

“You’re here.”

Valentine was already in the room. Leaning on the bed, he smiled softly at John as he read the book.

“Why didn’t you answer the phone?”

“…I forgot.”

“I told you to come, but you’re so late.”

“Sorry.”

Looking at Valentine who seemed to be enjoying himself without thinking much, John felt his mood drop again. For John, who has a lot of emotional ups and downs, he felt strange and uncomfortable. Let’s not think about useless things. John approached the closet, turning a blind eye to Valentine. John could feel the presence coming from behind, but he pretended not to know and took off his shirt.

“Did you work out?”

“Yes.”

“You smell like shampoo.”

From behind, Valentine put his lips on the back of John’s neck. John’s body tensed from the soft tongue that licked his skin lightly. Valentine took John’s shirt off his shoulder instead of stopping.

“Uck…”

Two large hands held his waist, then climbed up the sides and ribs to cover his chest. John lost his balance and stumbled as the tip of a finger intentionally touched his nipple. Valentine whispered quietly, sticking his lower body to John’s hip.

“John, I’ve been waiting.”

“…”

“What we were doing before, I want to finish it.”

“…Now, ugh…!”

John’s waist was lifted up even before the end of the speech. With John in his arms, Valentine carried him on his shoulder. Holding the adult man lightly on his shoulder like a sack, he only smiled without showing any signs of difficulty. While John’s vision was suddenly reversed, Valentine, who strode to bed, put him down on the sheet.

“…Uh.”

John tried to get up right away, but Valentine quickly hovered over John. Both of John’s wrists were held over his head before he could avoid Valentine’s hands. Tied up, John replied with a frown.

“Don’t play the same trick. It’s dangerous.”

“Mn, I won’t from now on.”

Valentine smiled round and bowed his head. Just before their lips touched, John suddenly remembered the conversation with Julian. At that moment, John instinctively twisted his head to avoid Valentine’s kiss.

The sharp refusal made Valentine look down at John. Valentine became even more upset to see that expression on John’s face and not knowing why. The facial expressions that couldn’t contain the emotions, then became cold. Valentine probably did that to Julian, too? Going crazy to that point, his lips moved uncontrollably.

“Why did you do it?”

“What?”

“Kissing…”

John shut his mouth, when he asked the question without realizing. However, he couldn’t pick up what he had already said. Valentine narrowed his brow and put strength on John’s arm. Patience seemed to be beginning to shorten due to the mysterious conversation.

“Kiss whom? You?”

“No, not that…”

John knew he had to wrap up the conversation now. However, at some point, his reason and emotions began to play separately, even at this moment. The doubts that he had kept in his heart throughout the day were steeply inflated, as if they were about to explode if he didn’t spit them out.

I just want to spit it out and make myself at ease.

The momentary impulse was dizzying, but it was also tempting. In the end, after being swayed by emotions, John answered with a small voice, taking care not to sound like he was arguing.

“Why did you kiss Julian back then?”

Valentine didn’t answer. John, who was pricked, hurriedly added his words.

“No, I’m not saying anything, but I’m just…”

“Why do you suddenly wonder?”

John raised his head when asked back. Valentine was looking down at John, with a cool look on his face. An unknown sense of pressure stirred and mixed heavily into the surrounding air. In an unusual atmosphere, John closed his mouth, and Valentine rolled up his lips, as if he was aware of his facial expression. Still cold-eyed, wearing a soft mask, Valentine asked in a softer voice.

“John, why do you keep caring about Julian?”

“…”

“In this moment, too.”

“…Valentine.”

“I don’t feel so good because you do.”

On the surface, it was the same tone as usual, but for the first time in John’s life, he felt the coldness he was facing. John felt his heart sink in response to the seemingly drawn answer. Valentine stepped aside and let go of John’s arm, which was still holding him. The blue eyes looked at him, as if asking for an answer. Feeling an unidentified misery, John moved his mouth. What he tried to hide flowed into unrefined language.

“I don’t care about Julian…”

“…”

“Whether you are still interested in Julian… that, it bothers me.”

John, who finished talking, couldn’t face Valentine, so he put his head down. John’s ears were burning with a poor and shabby feeling. John, captivated by his emotions, didn’t see Valentine had opened his eyes in surprise, nor did John see a smile as bright as a flower spread on Valentine’s face soon after.

Tick, tock.

The only thing that broke the silence was the ticking sound of the clock. It wasn’t until John could hold his silence anymore, that Valentine opened his mouth.

“You’ve never been interested in anyone.”

As John raised his head with a puzzled look on his face, Valentine gently wrapped John’s chin with his hand. The neat tip of his finger patted the thin lips lightly. Before John knew it, Valentine returned to normal and tilted his head. The flickering gaze was all over John’s face.

“Because you kept talking about Julian, I wondered how special he was.”

“What?”

“So don’t talk about him in front of me, John. I keep getting angry whenever you do that.”

“…”

“I’m jealous.”

The blunt words made the green eyes tremble. Slowly, the blush from the earlobe spread over the pale cheeks. John, blinking blankly, belatedly pressed the back of his hand to his lips. His voice trembled, as his words flowed through the hidden lips.

“W-what… That’s weird.”

But John was relieved to hear that, feeling more strange than he could handle.

John closed his eyes tightly, as he couldn’t say anything. He felt hot all over his body and his heart was pounding. John couldn’t deny that his feelings now were a clear joy. His voice, which had been tight with tension until a while ago, was now overflowing with different emotions.

Confirming that Valentine doesn’t think of Julian particularly… Was it normal? The heart stained with joy and confusion scared John all of a sudden.

“Look at me, John.”

John stubbornly avoided looking at Valentine, but as always, the winner was Valentine. His wrist was forcibly lowered, and the shaking face was revealed in detail. The pale face was flushed, and the green eyes were bigger than usual. The gap between the red lips let out a shallow breath. A bright smile spread over Valentine’s face. Taking in every bit of emotion that John couldn’t hide, he whispered.

“You’re better than Julian, so don’t mind it.”

“…”

“Just think about me and how we can have more fun.”

“…”

“Promise me, John?”

John couldn’t answer anything. Valentine slowly bowed his head. Their lips touched each other and exchanged hotter breaths than usual. John’s heart was pounding so hard that he couldn’t help gasping for breath. After a short kiss that only touched the surface of his lips, John leaned his head against Valentine’s shoulder. John’s whole body felt numb. Following that feeling, John’s voice shook. It was weak like a candle just before it was extinguished.

“This is really… This is weird, Valentine.”

“It’s not weird.”

“…”

“Nothing’s strange. We’re always right, and we’re always going to be fine, okay?”

As John nodded slowly, Valentine gently stroked the back of John’s head, as if he had done well. Valentine, who lowered his head a little more, looked closely at John. John’s face, still in confusion, was full of blue eyes shining brighter than ever. It was a blatant lust. Valentine was staring at John, as if Valentine were analyzing him.

“John, can you do me a favor?”

John couldn’t hide his bewildered expression in an untimely remark.

“What favor?”

“Can you show me how you masturbate?”

“…What?”

The sudden outburst and dizziness that had overwhelmed John until now, were gone at once. John unconsciously opened his mouth. He thought it was a joke, but Valentine’s gaze was more serious than ever. With an absurd look on his face, John gave a late reply.

“Are you crazy? That makes no sense.”

“Why? I really want to see you.”

“No way. I don’t want to.”

“But I’ve touched your dick as much as I could before. What’s the problem?”

John, who had his eyes wide open as if he was speechless, belatedly shook his head. He felt like talking to the wall.

“T-that’s different.”

“If you’re embarrassed to do it because of doing it alone, I’ll show you too.”

“What the… I don’t want to see that shit.”

“I’m dying to see it, so show it to me quickly.”

The two had a serious argument over silly topics. But as always, the winner was Valentine. In the end, John trembled in humiliation, sitting in a position he had never imagined.

Why did this happen?

John was wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt, but he didn’t wear pants. His sitting position had his legs spread out beside the head of the bed. His neck was bright red in shame.

Located between John’s legs, Valentine was lying face down and holding his chin. 

Intimidated by the glaring gaze at his groin, John showed no sign of having an erection. 

Valentine touched the genitals with his fingertips and laughed a little.

“When are you going to do this?”

“…You’re more crazy than I thought.”

“I know, but I can’t stay up all night like this.”

Valentine blew John’s dick. Due to the warm breath, John got goose bumps on the sensitive flesh. Valentine, lowering his head, touched his tights with his hands. The damp tongue licked the soft flesh inside the thigh and sucked, as if it could be adsorbed.

“Uck…”

Directly stimulated, John bowed his head, flinching. The blue eyes looked up at John from below.

“Can I leave a mark?”

Valentine asked, but it didn’t mean that he wanted John’s permission. Valentine touched John’s thighs again with his lips. John felt the sensation a little stronger than a while ago, and soon the tender flesh turned red. Valentine’s red tongue swept over the red skin several times.

“…Haa.”

John lowered his head. His eyelids were shaking. He became aroused little by little. As if Valentine was satisfied, he slowly smiled as he scanned the head-raising penis.

“It’s ready faster than I thought.”

“Shut up…”

“Even your dick is pretty, John.”

Valentine leaned his head on John’s thigh, as if he were about to watch it in earnest. Looking at it, finally his penis became hard. Embarrassed by his excitement even in this situation, John bit his lips to death.

“Touch it.”

“…”

“No matter how erotic I imagine it, I can’t without you stimulating it.”

Valentine mumbled. John put down the unwanted hand and grabbed his penis. His skin stung everywhere that could reach Valentine’s eye. Contrary to his unwilling personality, the firm erection trembled at the stimulation. Valentine gave a long sigh, as his hand grasped it and moved awkwardly.

“I think I’m watching porn. It’s so erotic that it doesn’t compare to what I thought it would be.”

“…Shut up, Valentine.”

“Show me everything from beginning to end.”

Valentine, who raised his upper body as if he had been lying down, urged John. John’s lips trembled at the blatant look of desire in Valentine’s eyes.

“…Uhm…”

He didn’t want to admit it, but Valentine’s mushy gaze made his erection grow bigger. Valentine admired John only with his eyes, without touching him at all. Everywhere Valentine looked, it felt as if it would burst into flames. John breathed out, as his whole body was hot. The trembling fingers shrank on their own, stimulating the sensitive skin.

I feel dizzy…

With his eyes closed, John slowly began to move his hand. Even with mechanical hand movements, the heat began to fade. The fluid that leaked was slippery and was all over.

“…Ha… haa…”

Unconsciously immersed, John clenched his lips with his chin raised. The inside of the thigh, where the muscles were tight, was cramped. The nerves all over his body seemed to be directed to the genitals. The brain, cells, and everything melted, replaced with the feeling of pleasure. His limbs became numb and his waist trembled.

“Ugh…”

John let out an intermittent groan, squeezing his dick up and down. Due to the repeated stimuli, the glowing glannas turned red, as if they were burning.

“Ha… shit.”

Every time his thin lips opened, he let out a hot gasp. The red tongue was revealed and then disappeared. Every groan was damp.

“Uff…”

John opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. His sight was cloudy and dizzy. The hand from the bottom covered John’s cheek. As John lowered his head because of the soft power that led him, blue eyes immediately met his eyes. It was a fluttering gaze of greed that wanted to swallow him to the bone.

“Don’t stop.”

When John unconsciously stopped his hand, Valentine crossed his hand over John’s hand. His hand moved over the other one.

“Haa, do… don’t do it, Valentine…”

John groaned at the relentless stimulus, but Valentine didn’t stop. John bent his upper body forward. The sweaty forehead touched Valentine’s back. Valentine mumbled low, fully supporting John’s weight.

“You have no idea what you look like right now…”

“Haa, uh… uck…”

“I feel like I was born to do this.”

John wanted to refute the outright harassment, but nothing came out of his mouth. John groaned, like he was crying and shook his head. The climax was coming to an end. Trying to gather his wiggling thighs, John pushed Valentine off.

“S-stop… I, now…”

“No, show me until the end.”

“Ah… it’s coming out…”

John somehow tried to get away from Valentine, but his orgasm, which missed the timing, was quick. A strong sense of pleasure was strong enough to make everything go away.

“…Uh…!”

Without missing the opportunity, Valentine spreaded John’s legs. John stiffed his whole body and tilted his head back. The wet elasticity united with hot breathing, and the pleasure exploded at the end of the penis.

“…!”

Trapped at the peak of a few seconds, John’s body broke down. It was extremely rigid. The stiff back weakened, and the muscles of the stomach loosened. When John, who had been shivering with aftershock-like pleasure for a while, lowered his blinking gaze, a look of shock passed over his face. It was because white mucus tangled over Valentine’s face.

“…”

Neither John nor Valentine said anything, as if they had lost their voice. When Valentine blinked, the semen stuck to the long eyelashes flowed down the edge of the high nose.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

John, who came to his senses belatedly, sprang up his back. His pale face turned red in a flash. John placed his face near Valentine.

“Are you alright, Valentine…?”

However, John’s words didn’t last until the end. It was because Valentine licked semen that was dripping on his lips. Surprised by his actions, John shouted in a strangled voice.

“D-don’t do it! Are you crazy?”

It was when John hurriedly tried to steal his semen from Valentine’s face, that Valentine held his tongue tightly around John’s hands and tasted the semen once again. The smooth brow narrowed down, as if he had taken bitter medicine. With a messed up face, Valentine smiled and said.

“I thought everything that came out of your body would be sweet.”

“…”

“To be honest, this tastes bad.”

John’s face heated up, as if it were going to explode. But Valentine was faster, placing his lips against John’s before John could say anything. Valentine jumped up and covered John’s face with both hands and overlapped his lips. In the reflexively open mouth, the sperm-stained tongue was crammed in.

“…Uhm…!”

Fluid and saliva were mixed in their mouths and exchanged through the tongue. The only thing left after the short kiss was the viscosity of the semen carefully running over the tongue. John was stiff due to a situation he had never imagined to experience. Seeing him like that, Valentine burst into a light laugh. With that laugh, John lost the opportunity to talk.