What to Do When I Become a Koi and Fall into the Male God’s Bathtub

 He Ruge exited the game and logged into Penguin to ask 8 Legs about the circumstances under which the bloodline patterns would heat up besides encountering a natural enemy.

     8Legs: “Under normal circumstances, it should only warn you if you encounter a natural enemy. However, you’re a koi (monster), and your bloodline pattern may have other capabilities I don’t know about.”

     8Legs: “Speaking of which, are you really a writer for Jinjiang (JJWXC)? Why do I feel like you’re always living life on the edge? Your bloodline pattern is warning you every single day.”

     Although He Ruge presented an attitude of ‘merely wanting to understand more about bloodline patterns’, the way he asked the questions (was suspicious, and) as long as 8Legs thought about it clearly he could (guess that they were situations) He Ruge encountered in reality.

     Ruge: “……I recently considered raising a big cat.”

     8Legs: “Goddamn, comrade.”

     Ruge: “If the bloodline pattern consumes too much energy, is it detrimental for the body, such as making your legs feel weak?”

      8Legs: “You’re still in your awakening period. It’s best not to consume too much energy. However, every monster is different. It’s like staying up late. Some people can pull consecutive all-nighters and no matter how late they stay up late, they can still feel vigorous and alert. Meanwhile, there’s others who pull consecutive all-nighters and then suddenly fall dead. Do you understand what I’m getting at?”

     Ruge: “Understood, thank you.”

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     No wonder he would randomly get soft legs and feet at every turn these past few days. He Ruge took a sip of his Goji berry tea and melancholically returned to writing. Some time back, after he posted that one 20,000 character post, his readers started criticizing his 10,000 character posts for being short.

      Sure enough, it was easy to transition from frugality to luxury, but difficult to downgrade from luxury to frugality.

     He Ruge estimated that with a progress of 10,000 characters a day, the (novel) would end around the end of next month.

     Additionally, his birthday was also at the end of next month. Finishing this novel would be his best birthday gift for himself. Before writing this novel, he was filled with uncertainty about the future and didn’t understand what he had been working towards his entire life. But now, every word he typed daily made his blurred future just a tiny bit clearer.

     After completing his morning update, He Ruge logged back into the game. Because 8Legs said that consuming the bloodline pattern’s energy could potentially cause self-harm, He Ruge planned to visit Room B6 the next day or the day after tomorrow. During these two (break days), he would enjoy his time and raise cubs (the little monster) happily.

     With a bottle of nutrient solution in hand, He Ruge pushed open the door of Room 104 and made eye contact with the little monster standing by the door.

     The little monster was already very, very tall. His overall height was as high as He Ruge’s lower jaw, and his body length was greater than three meters. If he laid down, the bedding could no longer fit (his huge body). The little monster worked hard (to sit on the bedding), and because of his upright posture, his tender white belly was exposed. His appearance was similar to a cub’s as he tilted his head slightly upwards while squatting by the door waiting for He Ruge.

     Indeed, he was still a cub.

      His large size was due to the rapid growth effects of the gene altering solution injections. He had only been released (from room B6) for less than half a year, and every time he did something bad (like making trouble for the other staff at Starry Sea Orphanage), he was sent back to sleep.

     No one had ever liked him, nor sang him a song, told him a story, fed him candy, or touched his head. No one ever told him that he was smart and deserved to be liked.

     This was Xi Guican’s missing childhood years.

     A combination of all the negative emotions during his brief and lacking childhood.

     Little Xi Guican liked his Zerg wings, so the little monster also liked the Zerg wings. The grown up Xi Guican liked He Ruge, so from the beginning, the little monster liking He Ruge was already set in stone.

     However, the dumb little monster didn’t understand that the emotion in his heart was ‘like’. Even the grown up Xi Guican took a while to understand his feelings of affection. How could the dumb little monster understand that the tenderness and happiness in his heart was fondness? 

     He was simply a heartless monster.

     The little monster even believed the emotions surging in his heart belonged solely to “Xi Guican”.

     “Miao Miao, you’re waiting for me again,” the young man lowered his gaze and said softly. His snow-white hands were akin to white lotuses blooming in the air, his long fingers like slender petals. That pure white flower stroked the top of his head.

     The little monster suddenly realized that white was just as beautiful as red, and while staying by He Ruge’s side, his mind was no longer occupied with only kill, kill, kill, but rather just He Ruge.

     His mind was filled with He Ruge.

     After four more injections, he would become very strong and would be able to destroy this dreadful place. When everything was reduced to rubble, he would put He Ruge on his back and joyously carry him off to watch the stars.

     Perhaps he could properly discuss with Xi Guican to allow him to be with He Ruge for half of the time, while Xi Guican could have the other half of the time. If He Ruge could always be with him, then he was willing to be He Ruge’s Miao Miao forever.

     He would never randomly kill again. But, if anyone wanted to hurt He Ruge, then he would shred those people to pieces. He was dumb, not as smart as Xi Guican. If they were comparing brains, he would definitely lose against Xi Guican. But in terms of fighting ability, Xi Guican might not be able to beat him.

     Thus, the two of them together could definitely protect He Ruge.

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{Please read the original translations on SurrealSkyTranslations instead of supporting TL aggregator sites. Thanks!}

     The more the little monster thought about it, the happier he became. He had a stomach full of words he wanted to tell He Ruge, and he already couldn’t can’t wait to make He Ruge happy. However,…… he was also a bit too embarrassed to say it aloud.

     The little monster pulled the bedding back to the corner with his mouth and stared at the nutrient solution in He Ruge’s hand while saying: “I was too hungry.”

     I was too hungry. So, it wasn’t you I was waiting for, but the nutrient solution.

     He Ruge pretended to be persuaded while he sat cross-legged beside the little monster and handed the nutrient solution to him.

     “What does the nutrient solution taste like?” He Ruge asked curiously when he saw the little monster drinking it. The nutrient solution seemed like a good item. If he also had some nutrient solution, he wouldn’t have to spend so much money ordering take out food.

     “No taste.” The little monster’s actions of drinking the nutrient solution stalled, and he dragged the bottle in his mouth over to He Ruge and stuffed it in his hands, “Have a drink.”

     He Ruge was just asking casually, but he unexpectedly received the nutrient solution that the little monster was almost done with. The lip of the bottle was still coated with the little monster’s saliva, and it was so sticky that (He Ruge) couldn’t bring himself to drink it. However, under the little monster’s expectant gaze, He Ruge couldn’t reject.

     Ever since the little monster’s temper became better, when he didn’t speak and just looked at He Ruge with his clear azure eyes, he was similar to the little white tiger.

     Indifferent on the outside, but warm and soft on the inside Little White Tiger.

     The Little White Tiger whom he personally delivered into the brainwashing room to have his feelings of affection washed away.

     (He Ruge) felt like his heart was hanging in midair, as if sorrow and grief had gained substance and stuffed his heart full yet leaving it bleak and hollow. He Ruge looked away and dared not make direct eye contact with the little monster. He poured some nutrient solution on his fingertips and licked it gently.

     It was cold, slightly sticky, and tasteless.

     Was this what the little monster ate every day? If a person leaned against a wall and sat in a corner drinking this cold nutrient solution, it wouldn’t be “consuming a nutrient solution, but rather the embodiment of loneliness”.

     Room 104 had no decor, nor color. There was gray ground and pale walls. No wonder the little monster, who stayed in such an environment, would wait for him at the door every day.

     He Ruge touched the little monster’s head, and the thick and warm fur made He Ruge reluctant to remove his hand. “Does Miao Miao want to eat cake, or play with toys?”

     The little monster nodded curiously, his long tiger whiskers trembling.

     There was a plethora of snacks and toys in the Love Mall, and it was an opportune time to spend money on the little monster!

     He Ruge rushed into the mall and first bought a small strawberry cake. The little monster watched a little cake out of thin air onto He Ruge’s hand, and looked around in perplexion, “Where did you conjure this out from?”

     “This was exchanged for with Miao Miao’s love.” After He Ruge finished talking, he checked the little monster’s status and was surprised to find that the favorability bar was almost full.

     [Favorability]: The Little Monster likes you very, very much, Goodwill 98 

     “You can exchange ‘like’ for things?” The little monster heard this for the first time and found it extremely novel.

     He Ruge couldn’t help but tightly squeeze his big round face and took advantage of the little monster’s shock to withdraw his hand, giving a cough as if nothing happened, “Like can exchange for like, sincerity exchanges for sincerity. I gave Miao Miao a strawberry cake in hopes to exchange for an even sweeter Miao Miao.”

     The little monster stretched out his tongue and licked his own paw, saying solemnly and regretfully, “But, I’m not sweet.”

     He Ruge sent the sweet, soft cake to the little monster’s mouth and said with a smile: “Once you eat the strawberry cake, you will become sweeter.”

     The little monster ate the small cake with one bite, chewing it twice before swallowing it down his throat. The overly sweet and greasy cream made him frown slightly. He rarely ate sweets, and the sweetest thing he’d eaten had been fruit candy, so this cake was a tad bit too sweet for him to accept.

     However, when He Ruge asked him if it was delicious, the little monster looked at that gentle face and subconsciously nodded.

     Consequently, a new strawberry cake appeared beside his mouth. This time He Ruge also asked him to eat slowly. The cream on the tip of his tongue slid down, and the sweetness erupted in his mouth like a landslide followed by a tsunami. The little monster felt complicated, wanting to vomit yet was reluctant to throw it up. Thus, he held his breath and forced himself to swallow the cake. 

     This time, the little monster learnt well. When He Ruge asked him if it was sweet and if he wanted to eat another, his head nodded slightly at first before shaking like a rattle drum.

     “Even if you wanted to eat another I wouldn’t give one to you. If you eat too much cake, you will become too fat.” He Ruge placed the little monster’s big paws on his lap, and said while pinching the paw pads: “Your current weight is just right, if you become fatter……”

     Hmm…It seemed that except for many humans, all other animals are even cuter when they are nice and fat.

     A smile appeared in his black eyes, “Chubbier is also cute, but it’s better to be healthy.”

     Looking at the little monster who was listening attentively, He Ruge couldn’t help but plant a kiss onto the little monster’s paw, “Miao Miao is so sweet~”

     Hearing this, the little monster licked the cream on his mouth, pursed his mouth, and replied seriously: “No, you are the sweetest.”

     They looked at each other and saw themselves in each other’s eyes and their own sugar sweet counterpart.

     He Ruge’s mood became even brighter, and he went into the Love Mall and purchased a salted fish pillow. The pillow was even bigger than He Ruge. Based on He Ruge’s imagination, the little monster who just finished eating dessert would hug the pillow. Two front paws would hug the fish head, and his two hind feet would kick at the fish tail in excitement while his eyes would narrow from happiness.

     However, there was always a certain gap between reality and imagination. When the salted fish pillow appeared abruptly, the little monster was immediately startled because the huge salted fish pillow pushed down on He Ruge, making it look like He Ruge was being bullied. Between the blink of an eye[1], the little monster stretched out his shadowless cat claws[2] and used the sharp claws to cut off the head of the salted fish. The cotton filling mixed with catnip spilled out everywhere.

     He Ruge: “……”

     He Ruge explained with a helpless expression: “This is a toy for Miao Miao, a toy you can hold and play with.”

     No matter how naive the little monster was, he knew he had done something wrong. He silently put away his claws and stayed silent.

     He Ruge shook off the cotton filling on his face. When he saw the little monster’s guilty look, he began to feel distressed again, “In fact, this toy can also be torn apart.”

     He Ruge brought over the salted fish pillow with the broken head, thought for a moment before removing all the cotton in the pillow and personally climbing into the salted fish pillow himself. This experience was similar to putting on dinosaur pajamas.

     He-Salted-Fish-Ruge moved to the little monster’s side, showing eight shiny teeth in a bright smile and said: “After tearing it up, you get a new outfit.”

     The little monster’s tight muscles finally relaxed. Under He Ruge’s two wide-open eyes, he rushed over and pounced on He Ruge for a hug, his two front paws wrapped around He Ruge’s waist and his head carefully nestled on He Ruge’s shoulders, “Is this how you hold a toy?” Even if the youthful voice was muffled, he couldn’t muffle his joy.

     (He Ruge’s) entire body was pressed against the big cat’s belly, and this sudden realization of his dreams from last night made He Ruge so touched that he didn’t know where to put his hands and feet, “Yes … yes.”

     The tiger tail was entangled on He Ruge’s ankle, and with a hint of willfulness, the little monster whispered: “Holding on, I don’t want to let go.”

     He didn’t know if it was because the fur was so hot and stuffy that he grew dazed, or because he was so happy that the tips of his ears turned red, “……then, don’t let go.”

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[1]‘blink of an eye’: direct translation: between the span of 2 sparks

[2]“shadowless cat claws”: He moved so fast there was almost no shadow

TL corner: My favorite line in this chapter was: ” As if sorrow and grief had gained substance and stuffed his heart full yet leaving it bleak and hollow.”