What to Do When I Become a Koi and Fall into the Male God’s Bathtub

 He Ruge was trapped in the brainwashing chamber and couldn’t move around at will. Moreover, it would take 24 hours to load the files, so he decided to exit the game altogether and opted to go write quietly instead. He jumped back online at 7 o’clock in the evening of the next day.

     [Countdown: 00 Hours 16 Minutes 10 Seconds]

     The file reading would be successful in T-minus 16 minutes. He Ruge sat in the brainwashing chamber and contemplated what he should do after the file was loaded.

     Yellow Ferret won’t cooperate, so he should choose to look for the Medicine-seeking Rat. Medicine-seeking Rat’s previous words implied that he wanted to protect (He Ruge) but didn’t have the ability to do so. So, the Medicine-seeking rat should be rather trustworthy.

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     While He Ruge was lost in thought, he was suddenly startled by a loud BANG. Because he was wearing a helmet and couldn’t see, He Ruge could only listen tensely to the thunderous crashing BANGS in fear.

     What was going on?

     He couldn’t be on lunch break right as the file was about to load successfully, right!?[1]

     “Bang Bang Bang-–” He Ruge suddenly recalled an emoji with a similar sound effect – the head banging against the wall emoji pack – and he couldn’t help laughing out loud. However, his smile froze in the next second.

     The iron doors smashed open and an overwhelming, ear-shattering reverberation rattled everyone’s eardrums. (He Ruge couldn’t see anything), but he could hear the sound of countless weapons firing and the nearby rumblings of exploding energy bombs. These sounds intertwined into a grand and impassioned War song, beating into the hearts of every listener.

     A gust of strong wind brushed across the front of his face, carrying a pungent smell. There seemed to be someone standing in front of him. A steady stream of the foul smell of blood emanated from the other, and How Ruge could even smell the scent of gunpowder and rust. There was also a faint burnt odor.

     It might be the smell of energy bombs (burning the bodies), the scorching temperature cooking the flesh.

     The person in front of him didn’t speak, but He Ruge guessed the identity of the person who arrived.

     “…Miao Miao?”

     His heart was a mess and he couldn’t think clearly.

     He Ruge never thought that the little monster would run out to look for him. He hadn’t finished injecting all the gene altering solutions, and the little monster had yet to fully grow up. How could he run out now? Was he in danger? Was he injured?

     The iron chains that imprisoned He Ruge’s hands and feet were sliced through by sharp claws that paused on the helmet. The little monster looked as if he’d done something incredibly wrong, covering his own ears while stealing the bell[2], “You, close your eyes.”

     His voice was as coarse as sandpaper on stone.

     Although He Ruge wasn’t sure why the little monster said that, he still obediently closed his eyes.

     Sharp claws sliced through the helmet like tofu and He Ruge felt the strands of his hair sway with the wind. He was embraced into the arms of the little monster’s two paws, and (the little monster’s) soft belly gave He Ruge a sense of security. He couldn’t see anything (with his eyes still closed), so when (the little monster arrived in front of him), he could only hold onto him tightly.

     Energy cannon explosions sounded one after another accompanied by the sound of buzzing air. One particular energy bomb sounded like it collided with the little monster’s back. He Ruge’s heart tightened as his hands tightly grasped the soft fur. “Miao Miao, are you hurt?” His voice was tense and raspy.

     However, the little monster didn’t answer immediately.

     “He Ruge, I told you before that I would show you the starry skies.” The youth’s hoarse and fragmented voice overwhelmed all other sounds and struck into his trembling heartstrings.

     This was…… his little monster.

     The Little Monster who, before he could fully grow up, still desired to protect him.

     The one holding him flew upwards at a speed so fast that the sound of explosions rapidly disappeared behind them. The little monster lowered his head and solemnly promised the treasure in his arms: “I will bring you to see the stars now.”

     The monstrous Zerg wings slammed through the air hard. Most of the flesh and skin had melted off the bone wings, so when the wind passed through the open wounds, it would make a whimpering whistle, similar to the whimpers in a monster’s heart, incomprehensible to humans.

     He had once rushed through the Orphanage like this before. However, he was bigger then, twice as big as he was now and so strong that no one could stop him. Xi Guican was also awake at that time and would tell him where he should go and whom to kill.

     But this time, he had nothing. He was completely unprepared. 

     Yet, this time, he was holding onto the one thing he wanted to protect most in his life. 

     The little monster suddenly lifted his gaze, and his blood-red eyes stared straight into the monitor, “Open the door.” He issued an indomitable command to the people in the monitoring room.

     The door of the transport channel opened silently. The huge monster shook off the pursuers behind him, and in this moment where time was of the essence, he firmly carried the person in his arms and flew upwards desperately.

     The eight energy cannons at the top (of the transport channel) had already adjusted their angles and aimed at the monster who was about to break out from the darkness.

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     Suddenly, the first energy cannon was launched, followed closely by the second and third…… the dense, goose-bump inducing waves of energy wove into an ineludible net, leaving them with no escape.

     Pain always arrives late. When his left wing was blown clean off, the little monster tumbled like a kite with a snapped string. The intact (right) wing [3] flapped desperately and barely flung the tilted kite into the (walls of the transport channel).

     The sharp claws that could cut through iron were embedded deeply into the clay walls. With his broken wings, the little monster climbed slowly upwards using three paws. With the other paw and his tail, he held onto He Ruge firmly.

     “Miao Miao, what’s wrong, Miao Miao?!” The person in his arms was so anxious that his voice was shaking.

     (Hearing his voice), his exhausted body was suddenly filled with renewed strength. The little monster lowered his head and gently licked away the man’s tears with his tongue. His vitality was fading rapidly from his body, and he had to scrounge up 120% of his spirit to prevent himself from making (a fatal) mistake.

     But, he knew……

     He was dying.

[1]“lunch break right as the file was about to load successfully” Meaning: Being interrupted for break just before completing a large task. An inconvenient break. Direct Translation: It can’t be that he had to get his lunch box just as the read was successful, ba!

[2]Idiom. Meaning: Self-deception. The idiom pertains to carrying out an action one knows is improper but deceives themself into thinking ‘as long as I don’t acknowledge it, I didn’t do it’

[3]In the raws, the author accidentally wrote both as the left wing @[email protected] should be a typo.

  Another energy bomb exploded on his back, completely ripping off the injured left wing. The severed wing fell from the sky like a falling leaf, spiraling downwards. Everything happening now (gave him a sense) of deja vu.

     However, the little monster didn’t cry out loudly like he did in the past because, for him now, the most precious thing in his life was no longer the Zerg wings.

     “Close your eyes.”

     The person in his arms had been crying non-stop, but he still obediently listened to him. (He Ruge) didn’t open his eyes no matter how much his tears fell. The teardrops fell from his eyes to his jaw like trails of broken pearls, dampening the fur on (the little monster’s) body.

     How was he able to shed so many tears?

     The little monster lapped up his sweet tears again. He Ruge was indeed the sweetest and most delicious. His blood was sweet, and his tears were also sweet. He Ruge was just too delectable, and every sip he took gave him feelings of happiness.

     If he died, he wouldn’t be able to taste such a sweet He Ruge anymore.

     The Monster dragged his battered body and crawled up again with difficulty. Blood gurgled out from the gaping wounds.

     He Ruge felt the warm and sticky blood seep through his fingers, and his eyelashes trembled slightly. He wanted to open his eyes to look at the little monster, but the little monster hadn’t allowed him to open his eyes.

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     “He Ruge.” His little monster called out to him.

     He Ruge hands trembled as he stroked the little monster’s head in the darkness, groping at the long tiger whiskers and moist nose with his fingertips, before finally settling on the gaping wound.

     “He Ruge, I’m so stupid, I’m not Xi Guican, so I can’t think of another way to save you.” This was the first time the little monster mentioned Xi Guican.

     “You’re not stupid, our family’s Miao Miao is very smart.” He Ruge hugged the little monster’s neck as he cried till his whole body was shaking violently.

     Another energy bomb hit the little monster. 

     He Ruge shook his head desperately. He breathed deep and hard like (a fish out of water) before he could form a complete sentence: “Miao Miao, does it hurt?”

     “It doesn’t hurt. Have you forgotten? As long as we are in physical contact, it won’t hurt.”

     The Pain Nullifier!

     He Ruge checked the status of the pain nullifier. However, the item was shown to be (currently not in use). Because the sensation of pain was the body’s (natural) protective measure, He Ruge didn’t use the item on the little monster for a long duration.

     It was only when he injected the gene altering solution for the little monster that he would use it for that one night before it was removed the next day.

     Thus, at this moment, the pain nullifier wasn’t being used on the little monster at all. 

     The little monster was lying to him!

     He Ruge used the fastest speed possible to use the pain nullifier on the little monster, “You must not lie to me, Miao Miao, do not lie to me anymore.”

     The little monster rubbed his head coquettishly against (He Ruge), “He Ruge, are you injured?” He had clearly guarded He Ruge so carefully that even his hair was not harmed, but he was still worried that the person in his embrace had gotten hurt.

     The person in his arms cried and shook his head.

     “If not, that’s great. No one in this world is allowed to hurt you, except for me.” 

     Perhaps it was the arrival of imminent death that caused the little monster to finally break down the last trace of his facade. He whispered to the young man whose eyes were closed tightly: “I don’t want to die.”

     His body is growing heavier and heavier.

     “I’m a little tired.”

     The little monster pursed his mouth and cried silent tears. Although he had grown this big and become a Big monster, in He Ruge’s heart, he was still the same little monster who was naughty and childish.

     “My Zerg Wings…… broke again.”

     “It hurts so much.”

     “I think I’m going to die this time. I’m so weak. Xi Guican will definitely take this opportunity to erase me.” Even before death, he didn’t forget to give He Ruge eye drops [1].

     “When I die, if Xi Guican comes out, will you be with him? I won’t allow this.”

     The pair of malevolent eyes became redder and redder, the streaks of blood-red consumed all the whites of his eyes, “He Ruge, I must kill you. I will swallow you into my stomach, and you will accompany me in death.” Every word he spoke would make a person terrified.

     “What say you?”

     His tongue lapped up the teardrops on the other’s pale jawline, “……However, my heart aches at the thought of killing you.”

     “It turns out…… I also have a heart.”

     Another energy bomb exploded, and the remaining right wing also fell off. The little monster lunged forwards and smashed the obstacles with his body, arriving at the rooftop while holding He Ruge amid the blaring sirens.

     His blood-red pupils glanced at the starry skies, and then back down at the person in his arms. The previously manic red eyes suddenly softened, and the little monster lowered his head with difficulty to lightly touch the other person’s forehead with his nose. He said softly: “I was lying.”

     “How could I ever kill you.” Like a naughty child who succeeded in a prank, no one could tell whether he was telling the truth or a lie.

     “He Ruge, you can open your eyes now.”

     The little monster watched as the slender eyelashes lifted gently to reveal a pair of black eyes drowned in water, two lines of translucent tears slipped down from the edges of the eyes.  The person in front of him did not look at the starry skies, but rather cried as he looked at him.

     “He Ruge, are you happy?” He heard himself asking He Ruge. However, his voice was faint. Because his ears were filled with blood, it wasn’t easy to hear sounds.

     Fortunately, the other person did not speak, but instead covered his mouth and shook his head.

     “But you have to be happy, He Ruge. Don’t look at me, go look at the starry skies.”

     The blood in the red eyes receded like a tide, revealing the clear blue underneath.

     “I hope you can be happy.”

     I hope you can be happy, and I hope you continue to live on happily.

     And so…… the transferring of strength and memories (to Xi Guican) no longer sounded so unacceptable.

     He Ruge, I will be back. I will become a smarter Miao Miao, and become Xi Guican. But from then on, there will no longer be a ‘little monster’ in this world.

     But, no matter, the existence of the “little monster” was something that should have been erased in the first place.

     Actually, I have a lot of things I wish to tell you, but I don’t have the strength nor the time…

     Just as his blue eyes completely lost their luster, an energy bomb hit him from behind. His huge body seemed to collapse like a landslide, gradually falling to the ground. In the last moment before he died, he used his body as a shield, blocking all incoming attacks for He Ruge and preventing him from being hurt.

     He Ruge hugged the monster’s corpse. His blood-stained hands trembled as he reached out to the other’s nose. But he couldn’t even succeed in the simple gesture of raising his hand.

     He covered the blue eyes weakly with his palms, and He Ruge finally broke down under the light of the dazzling starry skies.

     [Countdown: 00 hours 00 minutes 00 seconds]

     [File Read Successful]

Footnotes:

1.“Give him eye drops/medication”: Rubbing salt in the wound

TL Notes: Hi, all! Sorry for the delay! I’ve been busy with work related stuff recently. I’ve also been working on re-translating chapters 1-8, which should be up by the end of September (SHOULD). And yes! the bonus chapter is still in my queue ^^