Face Slapping the General

Title: Silent Lover
Author: Superpanda
Translated by Xing
Edits by star

“What’s wrong with you?” Wu Qiao asked.

“Your name is Wu Qiao?”

“Correct.”

“The legendary Wu Qiao?”

“…Which one?”

“The 99.5% chance of being a liability to your comrades on the battlefield.”

“…It’s really me.” Is it so widespread…? The soldiers are really nosy…

After saying this, he found that the person on the other side had another expression of “I’m dead this time!”

Wu Qiao thought for a while, and felt that it seemed unrealistic to tell the other party that he had a premonition that he could knock the enemy out of the water, although he really felt that there must be no mistakes made–how could he die like this?

“Don’t worry…” Wu Qiao said, “I’m just an executor, won’t you direct me to manipulate it? I’ll just do what you say.”

“…”

Wu Qiao turned his head and stared at the people behind him: “If you have any other way, I am willing to cooperate with you. If there is no other way, I hope you can believe me.”

The two have no trust between them, so what belief are they talking about?

“I see.” The other person looked at the screen again, “…Let’s continue, I will direct you. However, I don’t believe in you, I believe in myself.”

“…” What kind of person is this…

“This mecha has limited energy.” Wu Qiao heard the other party say again, “Need to set.”

“How to set?” Wu Qiao looked at the chart on the screen, a little dazed.

“The operation is very simple. Just assign the points to each attribute according to your needs, and the mecha will automatically sort and supply energy according to the numbers you fill in.”

Wu Qiao glanced at it and felt as if he was playing a game.

After browsing the attribute list, Wu Qiao asked the other party again: “How should the points be allocated?”

“The main points should be acceleration and attack. After confirmation, more energy will be input to the engine and the weapon. These two items are what we currently need most. First, kill a few opponents by the element of surprise, and then escape with the fastest speed. Defense and endurance won’t need as much since it will basically be useless.”

“Okay…” Wu Qiao looked over one by one, “Then, the last item, does IQ matter?”

“Not at all.”

Wu Qiao easily filled in a “0”.

“Are you crazy, no IQ?!”

Wu Qiao suddenly felt puzzled when he heard this:”You said it doesn’t matter at all…”

“The IQ is 0, which means it can’t even understand your commands!”

“Then, if it can understand the orders, how many points do you need to allocate at least?”

“It should be around 10? But…”

“Okay.” Wu Qiao filled in “10”, then subtracted 10 from the other category, and clicked “OK”.

The person next to him exploded again: “I haven’t finished speaking yet!”

Wu Qiao was silent: “I thought you had finished talking.”

“Your hands are really so fast!”

“…Are there any problems?”

“It’s mentally retarded!”

“…Are there any problems?”

“I have never seen such a dumb mecha! It will only obey the commands you issue. If your response is a little slower, its robotic brain can’t even automatically make the most basic responses!”

Wu Qiao looked at the interface: “…then should I reset?”

“There is no way to reset it. After clicking OK, the mecha abilities and personality will be formed, and they will begin to accumulate combat experience, growing and maturing like humans. In order to give them a sense of security and establish the bond between the mecha and the driver, It needs to be reset only under certain circumstances, and it is absolutely impossible to “kill” the robot anytime and anywhere.”

Wu Qiao was stunned to hear: “So… it will be stupid for a lifetime?”

“Correct.”

Wu Qiao asked again: “Then what should I do?”

“What else can you do? We can only use this. The other three mechas are far less powerful than it.”

“The other three can only be destroyed?”

“Yes… Spicy Pork, Beijing Sauce Pork, Yuxiang Pork… can only be destroyed.”

Wu Qiao sighed: “Then just teach me how to drive it.”

In the next few hours, Wu Qiao learned to operate in a very limited space-from walking, running, jumping, lifting into the air, moving in the air, to calling out various weapons, storing energy, aiming, launching, dodging and shifting.

Ya Jiu (mecha) has a high degree of autonomy, and Wu Qiao mainly practices voice control, because when he doesn’t practice enough, he’s bound to become frantic manually.

The action is scheduled for midnight, when the enemy has the least force.

After setting the automatic detonation of the other three mechas, Ya Jiu attacked straightaway. It was ejected from the dedicated orbit, and the silver flash pierced the sky of the mine star.

As soon as Wu Qiao went out, he saw several Republic Mechas searching nearby.

He aimed quickly, and the electromagnetic cannon that had already been full of energy burst out. Under the acceleration of the magnetic force, the cannonball hit the opponent unexpectedly at an initial speed of 6000 meters per second. The sound of the explosion broke the silence of the night. The attack power penetrated the target’s defense and knocked down the two closest mechas on the land of the mine star.

“Run away, don’t stop!”

Hearing this voice, Wu Qiao continued to manipulate it.

He landed on a very high cliff. This was the place he had planned before he came out, because this was his first contact with mechas. The accuracy of attacking in the air is limited. It is best to find a foot and click nearby. Target in the air.

Just after landing, two mechas flew over at an extremely fast speed.

Wu Qiao’s fingertips trembled slightly, and he tried his best to lock onto a new target.

The 60-kilowatt laser energy beam was launched. The high-density laser beam burned the material on the surface of the enemy mecha. The material quickly melted and then vaporized. The shock wave formed by the violent vaporization of the material penetrated the target material.

Wu Qiao continued his attack. It’s just that the surface perforation is not enough… Only the target atoms that have absorbed the laser energy are ionized, and the stress wave formed by the expansion of the plasma cloud can break the material of the mecha and completely destroy the metal monsters.

However, Wu Qiao failed to do so.

The opponent who was already prepared deployed the anti-optical system. Special molecules absorb the laser beam, and the energy rapidly attenuates within a short distance. At the same time, the artificially created high temperature of the air and artificially simulated atmospheric turbulence change the density and refractive index of the air. The thermal blooming and turbulence affects the laser. The beam drifted, dispersed, and jittered violently. Under the superposition of various effects, the effectiveness of the laser weapons was reduced by a factor of ten.

This attack was unsuccessful…

“Change to an electromagnetic gun, the energy is full!” The person next to him gave instructions.

Wu Qiao immediately switched weapons.

When Wu Qiao concentrated on aiming at the two enemies, he suddenly felt a huge shock coming from under the seat, and at the same time there was an unknown loud noise in his ears.

At the moment he was hit, Wu Qiao was almost shocked and flew out. Fortunately, the seat belt on his seat locked him firmly. However, because of this, Wu Qiao’s head quickly slammed to one side and hit something with a “bang”.

“Why is your broken head so hard!”

Wu Qiao and Ren’s (mecha) head were knocked so that Venus appeared in front of them, and it took a long time to regain their vision, only to have time to reply to each other.
At this time, Ya Jiu planted to the left unexpectedly.

It turned out that it was one of its legs that was hit just now.

There was almost only one of the two legs that supported it. The right knee was almost broken, and the metal joints were only a little broken, and the lower half of the leg was hanging there, trembling.

Ya Jiu was attacked…

The attacker was very close to the rear.

Wu Qiao sent out two electromagnetic missiles at that moment before his body fell. The two mechas in front deployed their shields and flew upside down for hundreds of meters under the powerful impact.

When he’s about to fall…

“Rise into the air to attack.” The command came from the cold voice.

“I won’t attack in the air…” Air operations are far more difficult than standing on the ground.

“You can’t attack even more on the ground!”

Why doesn’t Wu Qiao know this?

Can’t lift off, can’t get down, can’t stand up…

The two electromagnetic missiles have been launched. According to his level, the moment from standing to falling down is not even enough to complete the replacement of weapons, let alone directly blast the opponent behind him.

Damn it… It would be nice if the mecha could stand on one leg… How come no one has thought about this situation? Well, it is indeed unexpected that some people who dare not lift off can participate in the war.

and so on……

Single leg?

At that very moment, Wu Qiao carried out his intentions.

He kept pressing the turn button, making Ya Jiu take the leg that was still intact as the axis, and make a few rapid rotations on the spot, and then violently kicked the broken leg towards the opponent behind him. Under the pull of centrifugal force, the broken leg broke completely with a “click”, and the heavy lower limbs that flew out hit the opponent. The opponent was obviously unprepared for this move. It fell to the ground.

While the rear mecha fell to the ground, the shields deployed by the two mechas in front to defend against electromagnetic guns had not been fully retracted. Wu Qiao pushed the speed to the maximum, and the rockets of Ya Jiu lifted off the ground and fled towards the outside of the mine star. The airflow during the lift-off made the vegetation sway from side to side, like ghosts in the dark.

Wu Qiao’s hands were cold, and he was afraid of being overtaken. However, Ya Jiu’s speed advantage was fully utilized at this time. After all, nearly half of the energy was transported here.

It’s so uncomfortable… Wu Qiao thought to himself: Flying straight to the sky at this speed, as expected, his body would be very uncomfortable.

“What happened to you?”

“Not very comfortable…”

“Are you injured? Didn’t you hurt the vital part? Are the thoracic and abdominal cavities okay? What’s uncomfortable?”

“My ears are uncomfortable.”

“…” The imperial general did not say “Go away” forcibly.

“The tympanic membrane is going to be broken…?”

“Now open your mouth and gasp immediately and turn on the internal pressure regulating device of the mecha.”

Wu Qiao did it one by one.

With the help of the pressure regulator, the atmospheric pressure inside and outside the tympanic membrane tended to be the same, and Wu Qiao finally returned to normal.

3000 meters, 5000 meters, 8000 meters, 10000 meters from the ground…

“Escaped!” After ensuring safety, Wu Qiao couldn’t help but exclaim in excitement, “I can do it! I did it!”

“…” The imperial general stared at Wu Qiao in silence for a long time before groaning, “What’s so good about this? My command can’t be wrong.”

“…But I didn’t act according to your command in the end.” Wu Qiao felt that that was not suitable for him.

The imperial general thought for a while, and finally came to a conclusion: “I think it was just because you hit the big luck.”

After a pause, as if to confirm something, he added: “Well, there will be no such good thing next time.”

“No.” Wu Qiao touched the console, “I want to participate in a lot of wars, and I will continue to win.”

“…” This means that I don’t believe it at all.

“Ajiu,” after a few seconds, Wu Qiao heard the people next to him ask, “tell me about your condition.”

Ya Jiu’s robotic brain immediately replied: “It hurts!”

“Nonsense, you have no nerves and you know what pain is?”

“Other aspects…except for losing a leg, everything else is fine.”

“Go back and I’ll help you pick up a new one.”

“Ok!”

“The last move to break the leg in a circle must be very funny…” The imperial general relaxed a little, “Ah Jiu, he asked you to do something like that, don’t you feel embarrassed?”

“……what?”

“I asked, don’t you feel embarrassed?”

Ya Jiu is confused: “…Huh?”

The person who asked the question finally gave up: “…Forget it, your IQ is only 10.” Obviously, an IQ of 10 will not understand what embarrassment is.

Ya Jiu: “……?”

Wu Qiao over there no longer paid attention to the one-man-one-mecha dialogue.

He carefully recalled and tasted the experience just now, completely immersed in the feeling of manipulating the mecha.

What is it like when giving orders one by one, what is the action of mechas one after another… In the past, I have never had these experiences.

During the one and a half years of mining, Wu Qiao heard about a few miners who later became mecha manufacturers. Wu Qiao felt that it was also good to be a mecha manufacturer. It seemed that they did not necessarily drive mecha very well.

Now, the mentality has all changed.

You may not want to do things you haven’t done once, but once you have done many things, you will never forget the feeling at that time.

He was like a small villager in a primitive village. He accidentally walked outside the village and saw a brightly lit train roaring by in the dark night. The shock and yearning could never be erased from his heart.