Insectoids: The Job of the Males

Some time later, one Grand Marshal of the insectoid’s armed forces is out on an inspection of facilities when he spots Bai Jun’s face on a billboard in a city – alongside his personal details and requirements for a mate. He almost chokes on the tea he’s drinking.

He quickly calls the Chairman of Chief Command, “cijun, did we overdo it? Did xiao-Jun go mad?”

Having taken the call on speaker mode, Bai Jiawen also heard, and furrows his brows, asking, “what happened?”

“Oh, xiongzhu!” The Grand Marshal greets him then explains, “xiao-Jun is announcing he’s looking for a suitor.”

“Hm? Isn’t that a good thing? What do you mean mad; he’s finally come around to marrying!” The President says, relieved.

He and the Chairman are currently enjoying the day at the floating gardens on top of a skyscraper in the CBD that has a birds-eye view of the rest of the city, having decided to relax a little with his cijun. He’s been in a good mood lately, after all.

There’s a breeze; Bai Jiawen looks at his cijun. He can see the wrinkles from here, indicative of their advanced age. Still, the Chairman is as imposing as ever.

“Xiongzhu, you should go easy on the snacks,” reminds the Chairman, “you’re not as young as you were.”

“Yeah,” Bai Jiawen feels warm in the chest. The mood is just right – he rises up a little, leaning forward to plant a kiss on the Chairman’s forehead.

However, it is interrupted by the intrusion of a strange object in the distance.

A massive airship is slowly sauntering into view – not strange by itself on the Capital planet. However, the entire advertising space has been taken over by one giant portrait. It’s Bai Jun’s face. Gigantic. His pupils have even been enhanced to appear like his gaze is following the viewer wherever he is.

… What in the name of all that is holy and sacred?!

Now, the airship is also blocking out the sun from the Chairman. He turns around, curious, only to get blasted in the face by a humongous rendition of his own son’s face.

“…”
“‽‽‽”

Did he fall asleep? Is he dreaming? What is this indescribable object blocking his view?

The nail in the coffin is the scrolling text accompanying the portrait.

‘Grade A male. Handsome and personable. Your loss if you pass him up.’

As time goes on, the airship slowly drifts out of view. The stunned Bai Jiawen and Chairman of Chief Command followed it with their gaze, utterly confounded.

Bai Jiawen is the first to break the silence, “what was xiao-Meng saying in the call again?” His tone is shaking.

“He said Bai Jun has gone mad,” answers the Chairman, “I see his point now.”

Cheng Zhaoci is impressed with Bai Jun’s ability to innovate.

Actually, insectoids learn well. The next school day, a few of the more introverted classmates of his are talking about how they must also call the advertising companies at once.

Uh… so did he accidentally start some trend he should not?

Evidently, yes. Zhou Xiaobao would have done the same had his family not stopped him because he’s still a minor.

“There are so many males asking for suitors on the Capital planet recently. The insectoids on the frontline are pretty restless,” Meng Yuele complains, “our wartime mood has been ruined entirely. It’s weird.”

He also wants this to end as soon as possible so that he could go back and see if he might have a chance or too. So many amazing males, while he’s stuck here fighting.

Wei Zhuo says nothing, but does take what he says into account.

Today, after Wei Zhuo has dealt with another spaceship’s worth of insectoids and captured a tattooed, high-ranking member of the space buccaneers, his merits and seeming stability has earned him his post and right to contact Cheng Zhaoci back. It’s also a reward for how perilous the mission was and how many insectoids his theoretical absence would have cost.

Finally, the communications ban against contacting his own xiongzhu is lifted.

Yet he also understands the need to appear less clingy. He needs a good topic – and what Meng Yuele is talking about is a good topic.

Males all asking for suitable marriage candidates all of a sudden? What an intriguing trend. Perhaps the President is pulling some manoeuvre and needed to distract the public.

So, when he was free that night, he finally sends his first message in a while to Cheng Zhaoci, presenting him a full analysis of the emergence of this behaviour and analysis of its causes, concluding with an appreciation of the President’s tactics – distracting the public with a rare public display of males asking for suitors.

This is effective because males are often seen as never lacking in potential cijun and concubines. If they wanted to, shemales and demis would fight to grovel at their feet.

The President truly is wise. How terrifying.

Cheng Zhaoci, who was happy to finally get back into contact with Wei Zhuo “…”
Uhh… ok.

Was it really that amazing?

Before Wei Zhuo could continue typing his thesis, Cheng Zhaoci stops him early to tell him he might be to blame for all this. He set up Bai Jun’s information on a billboard a whole day, after which the insectoid learned to do it himself.

His grandiose tactic was noted by other equally troubled males, leading to the absurd development at present.

Wei Zhuo does not reply for a while, which Cheng Zhaoci takes to be him processing his shock, when countless praises come bombarding.

[WeiZhuo: As expected of a grade S male, xiongzhu. This was your plan all along?]

Plan? Plan what? Helping Bai Jun find someone suitable, you mean?