The Kiss From Hell

No matter how many hardships he had to encounter, he couldn’t just sit back and watch. The first place where John headed was Lillyn, as he was still in a confused state of panic.

The look on his face as he entered the lounge bar was very dark as he didn’t know what to say to Grant. Would he believe John if he said that a perverted psycho kidnapped him against his will and that made him absent…? But contrary to John’s concerns, Grant was not angry but welcomed him with a rather worried look. John was puzzled, but soon knew why.

“I heard you had an accident. Are you alright? You look fine to me.”

“An accident…”

“Yeah. A lawyer came here not long ago. We managed to endure the crisis by hiring a temporary bartender to replace you. He seemed to work for a really important person, are you sure you’re all right?”

That was not the truth but the accident did happen, and the person who caused it also was an important person. John avoided the difficult answer with a subtle smile. He was relieved that he could say the truth and didn’t have to make a pitiful excuse.

“Really? Then aren’t you going to Chicago in the end?”

“I guess. So, if I haven’t found a fixed replacement yet, is it okay for me to keep working?”

Grant’s eyes shined as John said that.

“You’re always welcomed. A lot of customers have been asking for you these days, as they haven’t seen you in a while. Uhm, Ethan, do you think you’re able to start today? It’s Friday night, so I’m short-handed.”

“Of course. Thanks, Grant.”

“Thank you. I’m sure Thompson will be sorry.”

“Tell Thompson that I did a good job.”

“All right, then. Change your clothes first.”

John changed to his uniform after a long time and looked in the mirror. He looked haggard, perhaps because of all he had to suffer for a few days. Hesitating for a moment, he reached out to the hair wax in the dressing room. Grant tends to pay a lot of attention to the appearance of the employees, so he smiled satisfactorily when he saw John doing his hair.

The deeper the night, the more customers there were. His hands were stiff after all the hard work John had, being much busier than usual. Upon hearing the news of his accident, some of the regulars greeted him with a worried face, and Elaine, who has now become her former roommate, ran to Lillyn and swore a lot.

“This son of a bitch, if you have an accident, how do you not say anything! Do you know how worried I was?”

“I’m sorry, I was out of my mind.”

“The house was a mess, you were gone and shitty men in suits suddenly showed up and said you were hurt… Was there a reason for you to be chased by the FBI? I imagined anything!”

“I’m really sorry about the motorcycle, Elaine. I should’ve told you in advance…”

At John’s words, Elaine, who had been angry for a long time, frowned and shook her head.

“Don’t worry about that. It was a good thing for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Those men in suits. They bought me a new motorcycle in order to compensate for the damage.”

“… Did they?”

“Yeah, so I even had the delusion that you were a hidden illegitimate child from a rich family.”

It was a near-truth joke that made John tense as he handed her a service cocktail instead of advancing any further conversation. Fortunately, Elaine’s girlfriend appeared just in time, making her to be all over her. Looking at the friendly distant back, John thought of Joseph. The last time, that day at the party, John disappeared without telling him…

‘Should I tell him I’m back? But how can I do that if I don’t even have his number.’

John agonized for a while, but soon shook his head. Once they started talking, he’d have to explain what happened. John couldn’t say that he had met Valentine. He didn’t want to get any more sympathetic attention from him. On the other hand, however, he wondered how Joseph would react.

Maybe he’d show up with his car, saying he’ll take me anywhere like before…

John’s meaningless assumptions in his head made him giggle as he shook his head. That good delusion was nothing but useless consolation.

‘Come to think of it… We’re not even close enough to talk about things like that.’

After organizing his thoughts on Joseph, John soon focused on handling the influx of orders.

* * *

John got tired more easily than usual. It wasn’t just because he worked after a long time. The accumulated fatigue disturbed his concentration.

The penthouse was comfortable, and everything he needed was given to him in the best condition. However, John couldn’t get any rest as he could only think that Valentine would be monitoring his every move. Whether that was true or not, that was always in his head the moment he was awake. There was no way he could relax.

“Ethan, a long island iced tea and a bacardi shot.”

“Coming.”

John had some time to spare after finishing the last order at twelve o’clock. He tilted his head back, his nape being stiff. The pain spread across the stiff shoulders.

“You’re tired, aren’t you?”

“Ah… Grant.”

Grant, who came inside the bar, offered John warm coffee. John accepted it and smiled back.

“Thank you.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Well, I’m fine.”

“You should go home now.”

“Pardon?”

“Even if you look fine, the aftereffects of the accident can remain. No matter how cold-blooded I am, I don’t have a hobby of exploiting ill people.”

John felt a pinch of remorse for the favor he was receiving. But soon he nodded silently. He wasn’t really in good enough shape to keep working until dawn.

“Then… Thank you. I’ll work twice as hard tomorrow.”

“Take it easy. Tell me in advance if you are not feeling well.”

“Thank you, Grant. You’re always the best.”

“Haha, I know that.”

After leaving the building, John habitually tried to head to his Queens’ apartment with a cigarette in his mouth. But soon, with a bitter smile, he turned the steering wheel toward the Upper East Side. It suddenly crossed his mind that he didn’t have to bring a car at this distance.

As soon as he arrived at the mansion, John took a rough shower and immediately lay in bed. Perhaps because of his unbalanced sleep pattern, he felt so sleepy that he couldn’t resist it anymore, even though it was not his usual sleep time. John fell asleep because of the exhaustion with a feeling of drowning.

* * *

John woke up after having one of his frequent nightmares. As soon as his mind weakened a little, the nightmare attacked John as if it had waited. As soon as he saw the red fluttering tongue wanting to swallow him all, he bounced out of his dream.

“…Ha.”

John opened his eyes in a hurry and stared blankly at the dark ceiling. The deep blueness of dawn was seeping through the gaps of the curtains. He could be alright now, but no matter how long it took, the unpleasant nightmare seemed to have no intention of leaving him.

Still… It was a great improvement compared to when he couldn’t even sleep at all.

John, who was blankly thinking about it and waiting for his senses to return completely, froze for another reason this time. He felt a foreign and warm touch on his hands. He took a low breath and turned his head carefully.

“…”

As expected, Valentine was asleep next to him, evenly breathing. What the hell… When did you get here? Seeing that he was dressed in a suit, still with the tie, at least he didn’t seem to have rested at home. John rolled his eyes down, staring at the white, elongated hand holding his. He turned to his face again.

Maybe it was because he got used to seeing him as soon as he opened his eyes in the past. John was rather surprised by himself and scanned Valentine with a quiet look. Under the deep shaded eyelids, golden eyelashes stretched out long, and the eyebrows relaxed comfortably, offsetting the usual coldness.

Suddenly, the nape of Valentine came into John’s eyes. The straight, slightly inclined nape looked defenseless. John swallowed his dry saliva unconsciously.

What could happen if I strangle him…

He felt dizzy just imagining it. John stretched out his free hand carefully. Then, the hand, which had been hesitating around the neck for a while, stepped back as if grasping the air.

“… Why did you stop?”

As a drowsy voice broke the silence, John’s body stiffened, and Valentine, sensing his intent to retreat, tightened his grip on John’s hand. When Valentine opened his eyes, his blue depths sparkled in the darkness. The half-conscious gaze possessed an instinctive radiance akin to that of a wild creature. A momentary wave of horror washed over John, but Valentine, now fully awakened from slumber, quickly caught on to his reaction.

“…”

Lying face to face, a profound silence enveloped them, with only their eyes looking at each other in the darkness. Valentine’s cheeks glowed pale, resembling a tiny island emerging from the surface of the water. As the tension between them intensified, John belatedly realized that their hands were still tightly intertwined.

However, John’s attempt to break free failed as Valentine pulled his hand as soon as John showed signs of tossing and turning. His finger pressed against the back of Valentine’s hand, feeling the slight irregularity beneath his touch. It should have been smooth, without any discernible marks on his otherwise flawless skin.

What is it…?

However, what he was feeling at that moment stopped because Valentine of Valentine’s fingers. John clenched his lips. The once-familiar warmth of their bodies, which used to bring comfort, now only stirred a sense of aversion. John brushed his dry lips with the tip of his tongue and asked him.

“Since when have you been awake?”

“Since you started thinking about whether to strangle me or not.”

He knew but acted oblivious. John rose up and pulled out his hand roughly. Valentine yawned a little and also raised his upper body, following him. The carefree figure made John cold and sarcastic.

“If you’re holding me here for the purpose of crawling in freely, I’m leaving right now.”

“It’s not what you think. I was going to hold it in…”

Rubbing his eyes with his palm, Valentine leaned his head over one shoulder that stood obliquely. The dazed eyes glowed dimly in the dark.

“I became anxious because I couldn’t see you.”

John had already figured out that the purpose of CCTV was to keep an eye on him. John stared at Valentine with starkly sunken eyes. He knew it was a meaningless question, but had no choice but to ask it.

“What the hell… What are you going to do with me?”

Valentine made an expression about why he was asking the obvious.

“Don’t you know? There’s only one thing I’d want.”

“No, I have no idea. Why do you want me to be your pet again? Or do you want a sex doll?”

In John’s words, the surrounding air around Valentine turned cold. A smile spread faintly over his expressionless face, but John couldn’t feel the warmth at all.

“If I had thought about you that way, I would have put you on the floor by now.”

Valentine continued to speak in a casual voice, staring at John’s chin stiffening with tension.

“Of course it’s not that I don’t want to do that, but that’s not all I want.”

The clear eyes poked John like a spear. John tried not to avoid his gaze, but he couldn’t help but to move around his eyes. It seemed like the silence just grew bigger and bigger. It was Valentine who broke this heaviness.

“I’ve tried, too. Living without you.”

“…”

“I wondered how terrible it must have been for you to make that choice. If it was your will, I wanted to let you go.”

“…”

“But, look, I couldn’t bare it, and all I did for years was to find your traces like a dog.”

There was no vitality in the gloomy voice. Negative feelings surrounded Valentine like a black fog, choking John. Valentine wore a smile, as if intentionally amplifying the weight of the moment.

“So, I’m sorry, John, but I can’t let you go. That’s my conclusion.”

“…”

“I won’t expect anything right now.”

“…”

“Just let me stay by your side.”

John frowned at the words that were said without hesitation. Anger and frustration filled his heart. He wanted to hit Valentine so bad until he was shit. If he could do it, he would feel a little relieved.

But John knew that nothing would be resolved in that way. Valentine eventually found him, and unless he gave up, their vicious relationship would not be broken. The water spilled, and the hourglass turned upside down. The peaceful life that John wanted was waving across the river, far away.

Then what would be the wise thing to do?

What should I do…

“If I… if I let you.”

After a long period of silence, a thick dry voice flowed through John’s lips. Feeling trapped in an inextricable trap, he closed his eyes.

If nothing can be solved by avoiding it, he would rather…

Should I see what happens with Valentine, and discover for myself what remains at the end?

And when John opened his eyes again, there was a precarious determination in his deeply sunken eyes. He continued with hesitation, as he was not sure about his choice.

“Can you promise to stay out of my life?”

After asking with a mixture of despair and desperation, Valentine had an unreadable face. He asked John again instead of answering.

“What are your limits?”

“Don’t attempt to manipulate me at your whim. Do not disrupt my everyday life, and refrain from doing anything I haven’t allowed you to.”

“It’s very limited.”

“If you don’t like it, don’t do it… uck!”

John gave a short groan as Valentine grabbed his jaw unexpectedly. He forced John’s eyes on him and bowed his head as if Valentine would kiss him. Each other’s breaths were at close range. John’s eyes twitched. Valentine smiled in the striding distance.

“So is it okay to see you? What about touching like this?”

Valentine’s fingers creaked and opened John’s lips. John felt goosebumps pushed his chest violently. John spit out swear words at Valentine, who was obediently backing down.

“Shit! Stop it. It’s like a grace period.”

“A grace period?”

Scrubbing his lips with the back of his hand, John glared at Valentine.

“Yes, until this damn relationship… ends properly.”

There was a gleam in Valentine’s eyes. But soon, he nodded slowly, erasing the momentary ferocity.

“Okay, I like that.”

Valentine reached out as if asking for a handshake.

“I don’t care what it is. Is that a deal?”

John looked down at the hand stretched out to him. The only thing that permeated his heart was the hopeless anxiety he had from the beginning. Is this the right choice? There was no answer after asking himself.

“… Yes.”

However, his fate was already pointing in one direction, and John had no choice but to shake the hand. As John reluctantly reached out, Valentine wrapped his hand around with firm force as if he had waited.

“Then, I’ll take care of you from now on, John.”

Valentine squinted his eyes and whispered quietly. It was a voice filled with the satisfaction of the hunter who captured the animal. John thought that he couldn’t feel any trust.

Our promise will probably not be kept, and this relationship will never work out.

It was an intuitive and clear feeling.

—

Located in Manhattan, Park Avenue Amori has transformed its role as a modern art museum and has established itself as a representative art attraction in New York. On a relatively cool Saturday afternoon, Company A’s smartphone unpack event was taking place at the main hall of Park Avenue Amory.

As it marks the 10th anniversary of the A-series this year, the unpack was more spectacular than ever. More than 2,000 people were invited, including major partners, officials, celebrities, and general visitors, and the event was broadcast live to 56 countries online. At the forefront of the hall were a number of celebrities, including Hollywood stars, athletes and journalists.

Among them, of course, there was a place for Valentine.

Valentine appeared with CEO Martin of L&T US branch in time for the start of the event. As they got out of the car, there was a flood of flashes from the media. Valentine responded with a picturesque smile and disappeared into the venue after a short interview about how much he expected today’s unpack.

“We are living in an era where only a new today exists.”

The event, which began with the opening remarks of Company A’s CEO, lasted about an hour. Valentine watched the event with an expressionless face all the time, and later moved to a dinner place prepared for the VIPs.

When Valentine appeared in the colorful grand ballroom, people’s attention was focused all at once on him, Europe’s largest media conglomerate that has an angelic appearance. Even among the leading celebrities, he was a particularly prominent figure.

However, despite having everyone’s attention, Valentine only smiled ceremonially and took a step back from the exciting atmosphere of the party. Those who wanted to build a close relationship with him had no choice but to suck their fingers at the attitude of drawing a clear line. Martin, who saw through the atmosphere, shrugged.

“You’ve been looking bad all day.”

“Have I?”

He asked back Martin’s words as if Valentine had no idea. Martin nodded obediently even though he noticed that he was deliberately turning a blind eye.

“Yes, it’s even hard to see you. The evidence is that all the people that have been staring at you enthusiastically but don’t dare to approach you.”

“It’s nothing, just that there’s something I’m worried about.”

Valentine continued after a moment of silence, and Martin, who interpreted it arbitrarily, replied as if he understood it.

“Ahh, I guess it’s because of the Watson case. He’s more resistant than I thought, but don’t worry about it because it’ll be sorted out sooner or later.”

In fact, for Valentine, company work was not a big problem. The object of his whole nerves was John, who would be a few blocks away from here by now. He was within reach, so Valentine wasn’t able to focus on boring and formal events. But instead of correcting Martin’s misunderstanding, Valentine just smiled.

“Oh my… look at what we have here. Martin and Valentine.”

It was then. A drunk voice rang over their heads. Their heads turned at the same time. Watson Networks vice president Finn Miller was staggering as he approached them. Instead of getting up from his seat, Valentine only greeted him with a light bow that made Finn’s eyes turn fierce due to his arrogance.

It was earlier this year that L&T, which had not made any significant moves in the U.S., declared a hostile merger and acquisition against Watson Network.

Watson was a giant with more than 30 broadcasting stations and dozens of cable channels across the United States, but in recent years, it has been in bad shape due to poor management. Efforts to diversify its profit structure only resulted in poor results, and the company’s stock value also fell by more than $100 per share.

It was literally a situation where only the shell remained and held out dangerously. And Watson’s major shareholder, L&T, suddenly announced his participation in management because losses needed to stop. Of course, Watson’s management strongly protested, and since then, L&T and Watson have been in a deep conflict.

On the surface, Watson’s management stabilization was put forward, but it was clear that L&T’s goal was to take control of the U.S. broadcasting business through mergers and acquisitions of Watson. And at the beginning of this debate was Valentine’s participation in management.

Valentine, after finishing his MBA at Cambridge, went into management and joined the US branch, not the UK headquarters of L&T. Valentine’s position was only VP in the planning office, but everyone knew he was involved in practical management and decision-making.

As people expected, Valentine was the one who actively promoted the merger and acquisition of Watson, which was his first move as Ryan’s successor. However, Watson refused to accept the clause as it favored L&T, and the boring tug-of-war continued.

“Mr. Miller, how have you been?”

Valentine’s patience was decreasing due to mergers and acquisitions, which were more difficult than expected. However, he hid his innermost thoughts and smiled at Finn. Even though the relaxed smile only results in fueling Finn’s anger.

“How have I been, me?”

It was not long after the event began, but Finn was already quite tipsy. Perhaps because of that, he didn’t even try to hide his judgment.

“Yes, that’s right. Thanks to you, I’m in better shape than ever.”

Due to the blatant sarcasm, a strange smile formed on Valentine’s lips.

“I think you drank a lot.”

“Haha… I’m fine, don’t worry. So why don’t we have a meeting and talk about it right now?”

“Mr. Miller, right now…”

“It’s okay, Martin. I know you have something to say, but I think it’s alright to listen.”

Valentine, who stopped Martin from blocking the conversation with a serious face, turned his head to Finn. With a whoo, Finn put one arm over the table. His eyes sparkled, perhaps because he wasn’t too drunk.

“L&T has supported Watson for years as a reliable investor, but has suddenly changed his attitude, and our embarrassment in recent years has been tremendous.”

“As I’ve said many times, I couldn’t just watch Watson getting worse anymore.”

Finn’s face was distorted by Valentine’s calm answer. But soon he shook his head as if to calm down his anger, and this time he smiled a little more kindly.

“It’s painful to make a leap forward in the new world, as you can see from the future industrial revenue model that we just talked about…”

“Mr. Finn Miller.”

“…”

“For both of us, it’s best to stop and just admit it.”

Valentine bent over his upper body to narrow his distance. The blue eyes seemed to be wondering how much the junk in front of them would be worth, and there was no sense of humanity in the voice flowing through the good-looking lips.

“I think the market outlook for Watson is explained by the ever falling stock prices. There’s only one reason we want to close this deal as peacefully as possible. “

“Ha… and what is that?”

Clenching his bubbly and trembling fist under the table, Finn managed to resist the urge to slap him in the face. Whether he knew what Finn was thinking or not, Valentine still wedged it with a smiling face.

“It’s a respect for Mr. Miller’s ancestors, who raised Watson both in name and reality as America’s leading broadcaster.”

At Valentine’s words, Finn’s face quickly paled, and soon burned red with insults and anger. His handsome chin was stiff and twitched. Valentine still had a smile on his face, but his eyes were cold.

“So, Mr. Miller, I look forward to a deeper and more fruitful discussion at the meeting scheduled for next week, not today.”

“…”

“Then, have a great time today.”

On the surface, it was only a soft greeting, but the intention behind it was a strong mockery. Valentine’s smile was still impeccably beautiful, but to Finn it only seemed wicked like a snake.

“I’m sorry, Martin, but I’ll get going first.”

Valentine then stood up in a polite manner and said goodbye to Martin and Finn one after another. After he disappeared, Martin clicked his tongue and spoke softly as if to soothe Finn.

“Don’t you know that approaching a problem like this is like throwing a prey to the media? So let’s calm down and, step by step, find a solution that will satisfy each parties.”

After Martin disappeared, Finn stared at the empty seats with red-blooded eyes. Hobbes, the chief staff who had been guarding Finn all the time, approached him.

“You drank too much, Vice-chairman. There’s a car waiting outside, so please get up.”

“You arrogant… fuckers.”

Finn’s fists were trembling and turned white because of the strength. Hobbes sat next to him, swallowing a sigh.

Defending L&T was too much, but its recent movements have been unusual. Chinese capital, appearing out of nowhere, ate up Watson’s stake with terrifying pace. To stop it, Finn continued to lobby the U.S. Foreign Investment Review Board, but the damn bastards were making it easy to approve the capital review. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Watson was eaten by L&T.

“… I didn’t know they would let it happen.”

This company was everything that his father achieved. It was unacceptable for a fucking British man to sell and eat a company he had worked on all his life. Finn grinded his teeth. Valentine Lindbergh, he had a desire to see that young kid’s shiny face distorted somehow.

As Valentine said, he may not be good at management. But he was confident enough to inflate a dirty scandal. Watson had grown in earnest since it published a low-quality gossip magazine focusing on interesting things.

“Hobbes, do you have anything?”

Finn spat out, cynical. Hobbes remained discreet with a face like trying to grasp his intentions.

“Scandals, weaknesses, what you’re good at.”

“You mean…”

“I want to teach him that a dog bites people when it’s in a tight spot, and that young kid doesn’t seem to know yet.”

obbes pressed his lips together, aligning his thoughts before responding in a hushed tone.

“You see, engaging in an all-out war would put us at a significant disadvantage. We must defend ourselves within the boundaries of the law, taking a strategic approach.”

“There are numerous ways to undermine those Lindbergh individuals who present themselves as something they are not. The key is to expose the scandalous truth behind their facade, as the more chaotic it appears, the more the public will like it, right?”

“…”

“He’s got to be an asshole. As long as there isn’t any evidence that we’ve been the ones to expose it, that fucker will go to the same level as a dog. You know what I mean, Hobbes?”

Hobbes tapped his lips with a face that wanted to say something, but soon nodded.

* * *

Maybe he didn’t have to push Finn so hard in public. But lately Valentine used to lose patience easily. There was only one thing that made him so anxious and made a big change in his emotions. Sitting in the back seat of the sedan, Valentine leaned against a fluffy cushion.

“Do you want me to take you home right away?”

The driver asked him in a polite tone, blinking languidly.

“Yes.”

At the same time as the answer, the car started smoothly. Valentine stared at the scenery passing by him with an unattached look. On the left side of the road, there was the Central Park, dark and quiet, and on the right side, high-rise buildings with sparkling lights rose high. On a summer night when the midday noise went down, the bare face of the city was cool.

Valentine was not particularly impressed with New York. Nevertheless, this place felt more meaningful to him than anywhere else.

Because John was here.

Although he ran blindly, his goal was long since it changed, and the only thing left was inertia. There was a time when it was considered as a natural mission to fully own everything given to you. But the whole thing was just an illusion. What he thought was a right became unconsciously a leash that controlled him. It also meant nothing.

What time is it…

Valentine raised his wrist to check the time. It was just past eight o’clock. By now, John would be busy dealing with customers who were starting to rush in. Even if he is not confident, he would have a smile in his mouth that he never shows Valentine, while having a daily conversation.

Can you promise to stay out of my life?

When a clear look came to mind, Valentine’s mouth, which had been kept straight until then, was torn down. What did I say then...Valentine blinked slowly and gave up thinking soon. The shaded eyelids closed, and the brows narrowed. The splitting headache got worse. He thought about taking medicine, but it was annoying to even move a finger, so he stretched his whole body. In his blurry head, a memory of the past suddenly came to mind.

The day when he last saw John as a teenager.

At that time, Valentine was bent on keeping John by his side, blindfolded by impatience. When John’s secondary gender was revealed, he thought he eventually owned John. He knew that John was angry. However, he believed that he would forgive him over time like he had done in the past. Looking back now, it was a selfish and stupid illusion, but the state of possession greed, which was hungry all along at the time, blurred his reason.

It always did. Valentine wanted to chew John from head to toe. To do so, he built a solid fence to reduce John’s world, and carefully tamed him for a long time. And when he actually held the body he had coveted countless times in his head, Valentine felt a sense of mental satisfaction that was incomparable to simple sexual desire. The emotional perfection he was looking for was there.

Feeling the lively heartbeat in his arms, Valentine thought.

John, I will have you for the rest of my life.

I will give you everything in return.

However, it did not take long to realize that the situation was going wrong. The coolness felt when he opened my eyes without knowing when he fell asleep made his heart subside. What greeted Valentine in bed was the bleakness of the wall soaked by the rain that poured through the empty room by an open window. He blinked. The pupils of the blue eyes dilated.

Valentine left the dorm room immediately. As if what had happened all night had spread, every student he encountered in the hallway stared at him with a face stained with fear and astonishment. However, only the idea of finding John prevailed in Valentine’s head.

He wouldn’t have been able to move properly, where did he go?

Valentine didn’t think about Richmond’s house because he was embarrassed, and wandered around looking for John, regardless of dormitory, living room, or library.

When he finally realized that John had suddenly disappeared, Valentine felt blood gushing all the way to his head. His eyes turned black for a moment. He felt like he had never experienced a feeling like that in his whole life. His fingertips trembled unconsciously.

Richmond’s house belatedly came to mind in Valentine’s head after cooling down. At any rate, he headed there as he called Grace. Ttu-ttu-ttu. The connecting sound nibbled away his patience. And when the call was connected, Grace groaned in a restless voice.

–…Valentine, you… What the.

‘Mother.’

– …

‘Did John go there?’

To the direct question, irregular breaths came rushing from the other side. The unusual silence was a positive sign. It was not until he found out where John was that he could breathe. Valentine said, crumpling his long legs into the car.

‘I’ll be right there.’

It didn’t matter if Ryan and Grace noticed what happened to them. He didn’t want to make excuses from the beginning. Valentine was not particularly willing to hide his perverse obsession except for John, the person involved; Ryan’s fierce criticism was expected, but it was he who would eventually be the winner.

The problem was John.

Valentine thought he was angry, but he didn’t know he was going to go all the way to Richmond. It was the first time they had sex, so he wanted him to be the first thing he saw while opening his eyes, but with the belated embarrassment making his head dizzy, Valentine repeated to himself. Apologize until John’s fear and anger are relieved, and if it is not enough, do whatever it takes.

So John, please accept me this time as always.

Valentine sped up a little bit and gave strength to the hand holding the steering wheel. Strangely heavy rain, gloomy weather, strange emptiness and Grace’s unstable voice. The whole thing got Valentine on his nerves. The feeling of a snake swaying in his stomach, and the ominousness of waiting for a cliff at the end of a long stretch of road.

By the time Valentine arrived in Richmond, suppressing such thoughts, John had already disappeared.

“…”

Valentine opened his eyes. The dark blue eyes deepened, and an unexpected figure passed by. The headache was strong enough. The car was just about to leave the Upper East Side. Valentine bent his upper body forward and put his arms over his knees. With his head down, he let out a long breath.

“… I’ve changed my mind.”

“Pardon?”

“Let’s go to Lillyn.”

The feeling of despair Valentine felt started after what happened with John, and it has been his old friend ever since. He needed John to escape from it. He knew well that he wouldn’t welcome him. But in the past and now, acknowledging doesn’t change anything. If his rational judgment had been possible from the beginning, there would not have been a need to start again in the worst condition possible. A shady cynicism rose over the expressionless face.