We Monsters Are Not Allowed to Be Single

Despite working late last night to save the residents of the whole apartment complex, Jiang Lan still had to get up early to go to work.

Wednesday was a bright and breezy day. The sun was already shining in the early morning. Jiang Lan cycled to work while sipping yogurts.

The celebratory mood in the office greatly surprised him when he walked in. 

Wearing a red T-shirt and a red string on his wrist [1], Xue Meng was distributing a box of snacks in high spirits.

Jiang Lan heard Xiao Xiaoyu teasing Xue Meng.” So you finally left your single life?”

Xue Meng was dismissive.” It’s more important than my love life!”

I am still alive!

Then he put the snack box on Jiang Lan’s desk and warmly led Jiang Lan to his seat while speaking to him in an ingratiating tone.” This snack is for you.”

Jiang Lan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.” What are these snacks for?”

“I think I need to celebrate after surviving such an ordeal.”

Because they were in the office, Xue Meng didn’t go into detail. Instead, he showed Jiang Lan his phone screen.

On the phone screen was a piece of local news. The title was very attention-grabbing: Model citizens turned killers. Three women committed murder out of jealousy.

As expected, the news reported last night’s events.

After Xu Meifang’s death, two Police cars showed up in the apartment complex. The local newspaper soon got wind of this and published the story the following day. Even though the Police was still investigating and hadn’t announced anything related to this case, the fact that the Police had taken Tan Zhi and Xie Guizhen into custody, who not a long time ago was praised by local newspapers for their heroic rescue efforts, had already generated much buzz in the news and social media.

Many locals had already heard about Xu Meifang’s bizarre death and the Xie Guifang, Tan Zhi’s madness. The local news didn’t mention any supernatural forces. Still, the comments under the news made all kinds of speculations, hinting that the victim’s ghost had her revenge.

No one was in the know, except for Xue Meng.

In his mind, he had already come to the conclusion that Xu Meifang’s death had something to do with the bizarre red mushrooms, and if he didn’t know Jiang Lan, he might be in mortal danger. Waves of fear would overtake him whenever he pauses to think about this.

That’s why he wore the red string on his wrist his mother bought from a temple, put on a red T-shirt to dispel any lingering evils, and brought a box of snacks to the office.

“The story came out soon?”

In this new age, the internet facilitates the spread of information. As he was reading the comments section below the news, an idea sprung to Jiang Lan’s mind that he could use social media and news media to renounce the rumors about Chen Ruomei.

But this must involve the Police, and he needed to talk with Wang Qing about it. After making a mental note of this, he turned his attention to Xue Meng.” How do you feel? Do you still feel uncomfortable?”

Xue Meng shook his head. After having a good night’s sleep, he had already felt normal again and full of energy.

But he was still a little worried. He whispered to Jiang Lan.” Those things were already taken care of?”

Jiang Lan nodded.” Yes, now the case has been taken over by the Police.”

Xue Meng was greatly relieved after hearing this, and he was wise enough not to press for more details about last night’s events.” Do your big brother and Master Cheng have time for dinner? I have to express my gratitude to your guys.”

Jiang Lan was briefly confused by what he meant by big brother.

He wanted to explain but thought better of it because it was too complicated.

“I will let you know when they are free.”

This Thursday, Jiang Lan had to give another flu prevention awareness-raising session to an apartment complex. So he spent the whole day preparing for it. Luckily, Xue Meng’s “cold” was gone, and he offered to share the work and took a load off Jiang Lan’s shoulder.

After focusing on his work for a while, Jiang Lan stretched his back and rose to get a cup of warm water. He needed to take his eyes off the computer screen to rest his eyes. 

Seeing his brother was taking a break, Suan Ni ran to him from Uncle Zhou’s desk and jumped to his lap with a beef jerky between his teeth. He pushed the beef jerky to Jiang Lan with his paws, indicating it was for him.

Suan Ni had become Uncle Zhou’s favorite. After giving him a handmade nest, Uncle Zhou kept offering him various toys and snacks, treating him as if Suan Ni was his grandson.

Jiang Lan stroked his fluffy ears and divided the beef jerky into two, one for himself and one for Suan Ni, who sat on Jiang Lan’s lap with tail wagging.

Jiang Lan smiled and picked up his phone to check the messages.

In the time when he was working, Ying Qiao had sent several messages to him.

Ying Qiao told him that the Red Devil Umbrellas had been turned over to the Monster Bureau and were in the detention center. The Bureau was still debating what charges to bring against them.

According to their confession, their bodies sustained damage a thousand years ago. Their souls had since fallen into a slumber, becoming spores scattered everywhere. The blood and hatred of Chen Ruomei woke them up from their slumbers. Because they were very weak after their long slumber, they made a pact with Chen Ruomei to help her have her revenge in exchange for her becoming their nutrients to help them grow strong.

Perhaps because Chen Ruomei’s suffering and death were so tragic, they took pity on her. They spared her soul, only absorbing the essence of her hatred. In their attempt to take revenge for her, they broaden the scope of targets on their own initiative to include anyone who spread the rumor. Xu Meifang and her friends were no longer their only targets.

If their motives were understandable, they had gone too far with their schemes, releasing too many spores to seek hosts, and they were losing control with their greed. They wanted to absorb ordinary people as nutrients because their regeneration would need a large number of nutrients. If Jiang Lan and his friends didn’t stop this, Xu Meifang wouldn’t be their only victim.

So the Bureau was considering the appropriate charges to bring against them, equal to their crime of excessive retaliatory action and causing harm to humans.

Because of the sparse monster population, the death penalty was rarely imposed except in extreme cases. Ying Qiao told Jiang Lan that they would most likely serve their sentences working in the detention center.

It was thought reasonable to give them a chance to redeem themselves.

What’s more, their unique abilities made them perfect candidates for a job in the detention center.

The spores these two Red Devil Umbrellas released could go into every corner of the detention center, serving as a kind of surveillance camera. Their employment would be advantageous to the detention center, not to mention the cost-cutting benefit.

Jiang Lan asked how they took care of Chen Ruomei’s ghost and those ordinary people hosted by the spores.

Ying Qiao said that after the Daoist Monks next door performed a spiritual ceremony for her, her soul had already departed this world to be reincarnated in another life.

As to the ordinary people hosted by the spores, the Red Umbrella sister and brother recalled the spores. Most of them will have mild cold symptoms and recover soon.

So the part of the case involving the Monster Bureau was concluded. The Police will deal with the rest.

After replying to Ying Qiao’s message, Jiang Lan sent Wang Qin a message, suggesting to use social media and news media to renounce the rumor about Chen Ruomei. And later, the Police indeed took up his idea and issued a public announcement clearing her name.

**************

After an intensive awareness-raising session on Friday, Jiang Lan received a call from Uncle Gui nearing the end of office hours.

Uncle Gui was originally a sea tortoise. In the early years when the Dragon King was still alive, he served as his prime minister. After the fall of the Dragon King, Bixi took over the Dragon Palace, went to look for his brothers in exile, and returned them home one by one. Since then, Uncle Gui had been responsible for taking care of the Dragon’s sons.

Uncle Gui began to live a semi-retired life after the Dragon’s son left the Dragon Palace again in recent years. But even though he was relieved of many duties, he still insisted on taking care of the Dragon’s sons personally.

For example, Uncle Gui selected and delivered all Jiang Lan’s clothing for every season.

This time, after Jiao Tu woke up and wanted to see Jiang Lan, Uncle Gui escorted him here.

On the phone, Uncle Gui sounded a little hesitant and careful.” His Highness the Ninth Dragon Son asked to see you, said he doesn’t want to remain at home alone.”

Since the last time when the Dragon Palace showed up in force to escort Jiang Lan to his new job in the Monster Bureau, which Jiang Lan understandably blamed for his friendless life, Jiang Lan had forbidden anyone from the Dragon Palace to visit him in his workplace.

That’s why Uncle Gui was reluctant when Jiao Tu was no longer willing to remain in the Dragon Palace alone and wanted to come to see Jiang Lan.

He heard His Highness the Fifth Dragon son was getting along with his new colleagues in the new office. If their visit revealed his real identity a second time, he was afraid that His Highness would get angry and don’t want to see anyone again.

But he was surprised to find Jiang Lan in an agreeable mood.” No problem, Please escort him over.”

Uncle Gui was very pleased. After he assigned several shrimp and crab soldiers[2] to the task of cleaning Jiang Lan’s flat and putting away the stuff they brought here, he brought Jiao Tu with him to the Street Administration Office.

Jiang Lan had already waited at the gate and waved to them when he saw the approaching family car.

Getting out of the car, Uncle Gui took in every detail with a loving look in his eyes.” Your Highness has put on some weight.”

Jiang Lan touched his face without thinking.” You think so?”

Uncle Gui was affirmative.” Oh, yes, Your Highness looked much better than the last time we met. This place must agree with Your Highness.”

Compared with before, the little Tao Tie was full of spirits, his face shining.

Jiang Lan laughed and glanced at the passenger seat.” Where is the Little Nine?”

“His Highness rarely travels this far. So he might need a little time to get used to the new place. Now he doesn’t want to get out of the aquarium.”

When he mentioned this, a look of helplessness appeared in his eyes. He opened the trunk to reveal a giant aquarium.

↑1Red was considered an evil-dispelling color in China↑2

TL’s note: The famed Dragon Palace army mainly consisted of shrimp and crab soldiers, to save the cost of equipping them with armor

The aquarium contained half-full seawater, and white sands were laid at the bottom. Colorful gemstones could vaguely be seen among the white sands and clusters of colorful corals.

A two-adult-fist-sized pearl-white conch lay between the clusters of corals. Many brilliant gemstones and pearls were embedded between patterned red and yellow dotted lines on the conch surface, making this conch a work of art.

Bending down and gently knocking on the glass, Jiang Lan said in a soft voice.” Little Nine? The fifth brother is here to see you.”

After this, the conch shook slightly, and a pair of little dragon horns appeared, followed by a pair of dark eyes. With only half of his head appearing, Jiao Tu said shyly in an excited and soft voice.” Fifth brother!”

Jiang Lan touched his horn.”Why are you so shy? There is no stranger around.”

Hearing this, Jiao Tu mustered up the courage to lean out of his conch. He looked like a miniature white dragon with a round body. The little Dragon rubbed his head against Jiang Lan’s hands and withdrew to his conch again, feeling a little shy. Only his tail remained outside, painted with a little pinkish color by the setting sun.

Jiang Lan thought his little brother was adorable. He couldn’t help pinching his small tail and said in a soft voice.” This aquarium is too big for my office. Can I take you there without it?”

He lowered his voice to a whisper, taking care not to scare him.

Among the nine brothers, Jiao Tu was the most harmless and gentle. He was easily scared and didn’t have much attacking power. Most of the time, he just hid in his conch and slept. When he first came back to the Dragon Palace with his big brother, Jiang Lan remembered that Jiao Tu was so scared that he chose to hide. All the monsters in the Dragon Palace took half a month to ferret him out from among dozens of shells.

It took a lot of effort from the big brother to calm him down, convincing him that the fierce-looking Tao Tie was his newly-returned fifth brother, not a monster out to eat him.

Jiang Lan still remembered what happened that day. Despite being scared witless, with his little horn trembling, Jiao Tu tried to hold in his fear and leaned out of his conch to greet him in a soft voice.” Fifth Brother.”

This”Fifth brother” aroused in him a sense of belonging to the Dragon Palace. He chose to stay there after that.

To ease Jiao Tu’s fear of him and make him grow close to him, Jiang Lan went to great lengths to collect as many beautiful gemstones and pearls as possible and kept a daily routine of sending one stone as a gift to his little brother. After several years of indulging like this, Jiao Tu no longer feared him.

The white conch was Jiao Tu’s most cherished treasure. He thoroughly cleans it the first thing he wakes up in the morning, then chooses gemstones that catch his fancy from his collections and carefully imbed them on the conch.

This time, after waking up, Jiao Tu had selected a new set of decorative gemstones for his conch before his trip to Jiang City. Jiang Lan praised his taste in a sincere voice and held his shy brother in his arms.

“Let’s put the aquarium in the home. My office was too small.”

Jiang Lan said to Uncle Gui.” With Little Eight as a companion, Little Nine is perfectly all right staying on land.”

Jiao Tu was very timid and never left his conch. He never felt secure being alone on the land, so he rarely left the ocean. It took a great deal of courage to decide to come to see Jiang Lan.

Uncle Gui didn’t object, but his mind was never at ease unless he could make sure the Dragon’s sons were comfortable.” I have your flat cleaned, and the new clothing I brought here is in the closet, remember to try them on after you get home. The food I brought is in the fridge; eat as much as possible while they are fresh.”

Uncle Gui rambled on, and Jiang Lan was all patience. He respectfully listened and saw him off.

After the car left their sight, Jiang Lan went back to his office holding his little brother.

Turning to walk back, he immediately saw Xiao Xiaoyu standing behind him, watching the departing car with mouth agape, obviously in shock.

His heart skipped a beat, and before he had time to find an explanation, Xiao Xiaoyu marveled at the car with brightened eyes.” Rolls-Royce Phantom! Your family is wealthy!”

Before Jiang Lan left the office, he said his family came to deliver something to him.

Jiang Lan was a little relieved. It was lucky the car attracted all her attention.

But he soon felt a little nervous because he heard ordinary people tend to reject rich people from their circle. He was worried that Xiao Xiaoyu would never feel comfortable hanging out with him, knowing he was rich.

But Xiao Xiaoyu appeared not to mind. Instead, she began to mock Xue Meng in a gleeful voice.” If Xue Meng saw this, he might agree to anything if he was allowed to touch the steering wheel.”

Xue Meng was a car enthusiast, and Rolls-Royce Phantom was his dream car. 

Jiang Lan laughed and blinked at her.”Then let’s keep him from knowing about the car.”

He and Xiao Xiaoyu exchanged a knowing smile.

********************

Sitting down, Jiang Lan placed Jiao Tu on the inner corner of his desk.

The conch was just like a decorative artwork with Jiao Tu hiding inside motionless.

Jiang Lan leaned close to him.” Don’t be afraid. I am always here with you.”

Jiao Tu shook his dragon horn slightly in acknowledgment.

At this moment, Suan Ni jumped onto the desk with his favorite dried fish between his teeth. He circled around the conch and raised his paws to knock it gently. Then he pushed the dried fish inside the conch and meowed in greeting.

Hearing this, Jiao Tu extended his claws to briefly touch Suan Ni’s paw as a reply and retract it quickly.

After a while, an empty dried fish seal bag was pushed out. Suan Ni was pleased and pushed another dried fish inside the conch.

In this way, the three of them had a very happy afternoon.

When it was time to go home, Suan Ni pointed his head against the conch, wanting to push the conch inside the backpack. Seeing this, Jiang Lan picked up Jiao Tu and poked Suan Ni’s head.” It was Little Nine’s first time here. Let us show him the way home.”

Suan Ni agreed with a meow and crawled inside the bag.

With the backpack on his back and Jiao Tu in his arms, Jiang Lan and his brothers set out home.

Since he planned to show his little brother the way home, Jiang Lan would walk back. But the moment he walked out of the office, Uncle Zhou waved to him with smiles on his face.” Jiang Lan, your brother, is here waiting for you.”

Jiang Lan was surprised to see Ying Qiao walk out from behind Uncle Zhou. Jiang Lan’s view was momentarily blocked on his way out, so he didn’t see Ying Qiao.

A thought suddenly struck him, and he tried to hide Jiao Tu almost as a reflex action. But he was too late. Ying Qiao’s eyes were already on Jiao Tu with a slightly puzzled look on his face.

Jiang Lan had no choice but to walk over to greet him.”How come you are here?”

Ying Qiao’s eyes were now glued to the conch. If he was not mistaken, the gemstones embedded on the conch were……….genuine.

“What is it……?” His voice was calm, but obviously, he was expecting an explanation.

But he didn’t think the Little Monster would deceive him.

Jiang Lan touched the conch without thinking. With a sense of guilt, he widened his eyes, which ironically gave him a look of innocence. He raised Jiao Tu to show him and try to sound natural.” This is my cousin; he is here to stay with us for a while.”

Oh, a cousin……..The doubt in Ying Qiao’s eyes vanished. Looking back and forth between the Little Monster’s plain clothing and the gemstones on the conch, Ying Qiao thought life was hard on the Little Monster.

After remaining silent for a while, Ying Qiao couldn’t help asking.” Your cousin’s family looks rich. Why are your…..this poor?”

He knew the Little Monster lived with his little brother alone. He recalled that Jiang Lan mentioned he had eight brothers to feed on their date, which he always dismissed as mere exaggerating. Now the sudden appearance of this rich cousin made him uncertain whether Jiang Lan was exaggerating after all.

Running full throttle, his wild imagination began to fill the gaps in this complicated story. In this story, the Little Monster was forced to leave home with his little brother to scrape a living among humans.

Jiang Lan’s muscles tightened, and his heart was racing.

How do I explain this?

He lowered his head with a guilty heart, racking his brains for an explanation. His anxiety took over him, and with a clenched jaw, he bit his lips almost raw. 

So this is it?

Today is the day the friendship boat is going to capsize.

But I am not ready for a confession!

While he was anxious for his brain to produce an explanation, Ying Qiao signed deeply and stroked his hair gently.” If you don’t want to tell me, don’t force yourself.”

Jiang Lan raised his head in surprise: Yi?

The red-rimmed eyes and the trace of teeth on his lips further confirmed Ying Qiao’s speculation. He thought the Little Monster must have a strained relationship with his family. Otherwise, how could he explain that when the Little Monster was practically a kid, he left home with a tiny cub to make a living in human society?

The Monster race had a hard time continuing its bloodline. If any monster family had a cub this cute and well-behaved, they would indulge him as if he was the most precious thing in the world and would never let him risk an adventurous and hard life. 

The conch in Jiang Lan’s arms would serve as a perfect reference point for how the monster race indulges their cubs.

Before, Ying Qiao used to consider the Little Monster capable and independent. Now, in this gemstone embedded cousin’s presence, Ying Qiao couldn’t help feeling bad for him.

The more capable the cub was, the more compassion he felt for him. 

For a brief moment, he almost yelled out to Jiang Lan: Don’t feel bad, I will give you everything. I have countless gemstones in my house. From now on, they are all yours.

But his remaining sense stopped him.

Taking a deep breath, Ying Qiao’s eyes grew soft when he looked at Jiang Lan. He gave Jiang Lan a band card and didn’t press on him further with more questions.” The bonus had been granted. I came to give it to you.”

At first, he wanted to ask Cheng Hua to wire transfer the amount to Jiang Lan. But on second thought, he thought it better to keep Cheng Hua’s contact with Jiang Lan to a minimum.

The painted skin monster was famed for his seducing power.

I had to keep an eye on my cub in case he was seduced.

???

Why the sudden change of topic?

Jiang Lan gave him a cautious look. Seeing that Ying Qiao didn’t press further, he was greatly relieved.

How come I get off the hook this easy?

He was so surprised that he forgot to pick up the bank card Ying Qiao offered him for a few seconds.

Seeing he was unresponsive, Ying Qiao just shoved the bank card into his hands and wrapped his hand around his shoulder to lead him away while telling him.” My boss invited his business partner over for dinner but was stood up. The restaurant reservation couldn’t be canceled, and we couldn’t get a refund for the prepaid meal. So it falls to us to make sure it wasn’t a waste.”

While he was making up an excuse to invite him to an expensive restaurant, he was thinking he must make up for what he had missed out on.

He had to make sure the Little Monster was as much indulged as other cubs.