We Monsters Are Not Allowed to Be Single

The sky had turned bright when Ying Qiao drove Jiang Lan to the entrance of the apartment complex.

To make his acting more convincing, Jiang Lan kept yawning with tears dropping. Ying Qiao saw he could barely keep his eyes open, so he asked him to sleep in the car while texting Uncle Zhou as Jiang Lan’s older brother, telling him that Jiang Lan would take a personal leave day.

When they arrived home, he woke him up, asking him to resume his sleep at home.

And by the way, he had already notified his office that Jiang Lan would take a personal leave day.

Knowing taking a personal leave will disqualify him from getting a full attendance award, Jiang Lan was surprised. He hurriedly said.” I am not very sleepy now. No need to take a personal leave day.”

But apparently, Ying Qiao didn’t think that continuing to work after being deprived of a full night’s sleep was a good idea and said firmly.” You have stayed up all night. Without rest, you couldn’t get your job done properly. I think adequate sleep will actually boost your job performance.”

But Jiang Lan thought: That’s not the point. I only want the full attendance award!

But he didn’t dare to say it.”Ok.”

Ying Qiao stroked his hair and added.” If you run into something like this the next time, remember to tell me before you do anything. It is too dangerous.”

Jiang Lan nodded.

He seemed heavy-eyed. Ying Qiao urged him to hurry home.” Go back to sleep. I will visit you this afternoon. Rest easy. I will keep an eye on Qin Shuyi and his daughter.”

“En, Thank you.”

His gratitude was heartfelt this time. Ying Qiao was very considerate. Who cares about the full attendance award. He was flushed with cash now.

They parted at the entrance, and Jiang Lan went home. After taking a shower, he slept until noon.

Sunlight shone through the gaps between curtains and brought comfortable warmth. Jiang Lan rolled out of bed half-awake and saw Jiao Tu and Suan Ni playing video games on the iPad.

Jiao Tu had grown accustomed to this home. He had transformed into human form and sat on the sofa in his cotton pajamas. While playing games with one hand, he even managed to eat a shrimp with another hand.

These shrimps were sent here by Uncle Gui. Their freshness was preserved in a special way. After defrosting, they can be eaten directly without cooking. These two young brothers peeled a plate of shrimps and finished them off merrily.

After Jiang Lan came out of the bedroom, Jiao Tu pushed the plate to him and waved him over.” Fifth brother, please eat.”

“You two are having a good time without me.”

Jiang Lan muttered and went to the fridge to retrieve the remaining food ingredients for their lunch. The food sent from the Dragon Palace was the best. Plain simple cooking was enough to bring out the marvelous flavor in the food. Jiang Lan cooked two plates of scallops and crabs as their bountiful lunch.

Jiang Lan’s lunch also had the luxurious addition of two top-grade gemstones. While munching on these gemstones, he checked his messages.

Because today he took a personal leave day, Xue Meng had already mentioned him in a group chat in the early morning, asking why he didn’t show up for work today.

Perhaps because he didn’t reply, Zhang Tianxing had even sent him a private message.

Jiang Lan replied in the group chat:[ Last night I was busy saving the world, so I need to catch up with sleep today.]

[Xue Meng sent an emoji depicting a servant massaging a master.]

Xiao Xiaoyu seemed to say this half-jokingly:[ I thought you were forced to go back home to inherit your billions worth of family fortune.]

[Xue Meng: @Xiao Xiaoyu, you stupid mortal, your mind has been poisoned by reading too many novels. What’s this nonsense about inheriting billions worth of family fortune?]

Xiao Xiaoyu gave him a cold smile emoji while thinking, you know nothing. Considering even his family valet drove a Rolls-Royce, it was not far-fetched to suppose he would inherit billions’ worth of fortune.

With the ensuing bickering and emoji battle, Jiang Lan immediately left the group chat for fear that what he said would unwittingly stir them up.

He also replied to Zhang Tianxing’s message.

Except for the first message asking him why he didn’t show up today, the rest of the messages Zhang Tianxing sent were the photos of snacks he bought for Suan Ni.

[Zhang Tianxing: I bought some snacks for Nini. When will you come to the office? I can send them to your home if you don’t return any time soon.]

Jiang Lan signed, thinking Zhang Tianxing was really a cat person. It’s a pity Suan Ni was not a real cat.

Glancing at Little Suan Ni, who was playing games with Jiao Tu, he felt a little guilty.[ I will be in the office this afternoon. He had enough snacks. No need to buy this many.]

Perhaps because he got the answer he wanted, Zhang Tianxing was again a man of few words.[Only a little.]

Jiang Lan figured he wouldn’t be able to sway him, so he left it at that.

As soon as he ended his chat with Zhang Tianxing, Ying Qiao texted him, asking whether he had woken up.

The moment Jiang Lan replied, Ying Qiao made a voice call.

“How is your sleep? Did you have lunch?”

“Just finished.” Jiang Lan slouched on the sofa.”I am ready to go back to the office this afternoon.”

Letting out a chuckle, Ying Qiao felt helpless.”Why the hurry?”

Then he added.” I am already here.”

!!!

Jiang Lan was shocked.”Already here?”

In a panic, he glanced around his room filled with many recent purchases.

When Uncle Gui came to his home with Jiao Tu, he brought many things to this small flat, like electrical appliances, rugs, clothing, food, and video game consoles. Jiang Lan had no idea how much these things cost, but he knew for a fact that Uncle Gui spares no expense in purchasing the best stuff for them.

He went through his flat, at a loss what to do with his transformed flat.

Even on the phone, Ying Qiao could sense his odd reaction.”What’s the matter?”

Jiang Lan tried to calm down. Clearing his throat, he said.” No matter….my home is a bit messy. I didn’t get around to tidying up the rooms yet.”

Recalling Jiang Lan’s messy bedroom, he laughed.”No problem, I don’t mind.”

Jiang Lan said he will do a quick job tidying up the room now and hung up.

First, he told Jiao Tu in a serious tone the right things he could say to the visitor. He cautioned him not to say anything he wasn’t supposed to say.

Then, he hurriedly carried all the expensive-looking new stuff to the bedroom. Looking at his pajama, he had a mind to change it, but at that moment, the doorbell rang, he had no choice but to open the door.

The smart suit in the early morning was gone. Now Ying Qiao had on a more casual outfit.

He gave Jiang Lan a pastry he just bought.” I bought this in case you didn’t have your lunch.”

Jiang Lan took it and let him inside. But he was not in the mood for pleasantries. Scanning his room like a radar, Jiang Lan was worried that he might miss something Ying Qiao wasn’t supposed to see.

Following Jiang Lan, Ying Qiao saw in a glance the transformed living room.

Rugs and sofas were replaced. A new refrigerator was added to the living room. A couple of paintings graced the wall.

With a discerning eye, Ying Qiao gazed at these modern abstract paintings suspiciously. If he was not mistaken, these decorative paintings were not cheap mock-ups but real ones which had fetched a high price at auction.

Before he had time to make inquiries, the young man on the sofa attracted his attention.

Jiao Tu courteously greeted him, but he appeared a little awkward.

In the presence of strangers, he was still ill at ease.

Jiang Lan made the introduction.” This is my little cousin Jiang Tu. You two had met before.”

Ying Qiao immediately recalled the little cousin with his gem-embedded conch. He didn’t expect the little cousin’s human form to be so like Jiang Lan.

Glancing again at the transformed room and those expensive decorative paintings, a thought struck him.” You just renovated your flat?”

The Little Monster obviously didn’t have the fund for a renovation job. In his previous visits, Ying Qiao remembered the Little Monster’s flat was plain-looking. But with his little cousin’s visits, the apartment suddenly underwent a new renovation. Apparently, his wealthy cousin thought this plain flat didn’t suit him and decided to pay for a new renovation job.

Jiang Lan’s eyes were darting from side to side.” Oh, yes.”

Now Ying Qiao’s focus shifted to the same luxurious brand pajamas Jiang Lan and his cousin were wearing. The pajamas appeared a little loose on his cousin but fit Jiang Lan’s form perfectly, showing his waist curve.

He stroked Jiang Lan’s hair lovingly, thinking that the luxurious brand clothing the Little Monster wore in the past turned out to be gifts from his wealthy cousin.

Their life circumstances were so far apart.

Ying Qiao’s heart ached with pity when looking at the wealthy cousin with a gem-imbedded conch and the Little Monster wearing clothing donated by his wealthy cousin.

Patting the Little Monster’s shoulder with a heavy heart, Ying Qiao reaffirmed his resolve to help him shake off the shackle of poverty.

Unaware of what was going on in Ying Qiao’s mind, Jiang Lan asked him to take a seat nervously.

Not sure how to begin their conversation, Jiang Lan asked him.” Have you eaten yet?”

Ying Qiao.” Yes.”

Jiang Lan.”Oh.”

He was worried that Ying Qiao might be onto something. Why didn’t he ask him any questions?

He signed worriedly and started a new topic.” You didn’t work today?”

Ying Qiao.”Yes, I worked extra hours last night, so my boss asked me to take a half-day off work. I was just on my way home and thought, why not pay you a visit.”

Jiang Lan “oh” again. Then he said tentatively.” I have just received a bonus. So I can afford to buy you a gift.”

He implied to Ying Qiao that his bonus had also paid for the new renovation job.

But Ying Qiao misunderstood him. Seeing his cautious look, Ying Qiao felt his heart melted.” It’s not necessary. We can dispense with this thank-expression between us.”

Jiang Lan shook his head and said seriously.” I just want to buy you a gift.”

Now his eyes seemed to reflect the bright sunlight.”I have money now.”

Ying Qiao was amused by his serious expression and accepted his gift.” Then I will accept it.”

Jiang Lan’s gift was a pair of sapphire cufflinks. He bought these two sapphires from the Gemstone Goblin shop. He hand-cutted and polished the sapphires personally, revealing the shifting hues of ocean blue under the gem surface. Then he hired a jeweler to make a pair of cufflinks with these sapphires.

When he presented the box containing the cufflinks to Ying Qiao, Jiang Lan watched his face with excitement and anticipation.

“Can I open it now?” Ying Qiao received the delicate wooden box, smiling.

Then he opened it with Jiang Lan’s nodding.

On the black velvet laid a pair of sapphire cufflinks made with exquisite craftsmanship.

The blue sapphires were held by a silver snake curled around the gemstone.

The dragon race was always susceptible to the allure of sparkling gemstones. So Jiang Lan’s gift was precisely the type of thing Ying Qiao loved. Of course, it would be even better if the cufflinks weren’t made in the shape of snakes…

He took off his cufflinks on the spot and replaced them with the sapphire cufflinks Jiang Lan gifted him.

Caressing the cufflinks, Ying Qiao gazed at Jiang Lan with a warmth in his heart. Like a quilt just baked under the sunlight, he felt soft and warm.

It had been a long time since he last felt in this way

No wonder Geng Chen always mentioned his wish to raise a cub.

Raising a cub could indeed cheer him up.

“Thank you, I really like it.” Ying Qiao solemnly declared.

Wearing clothing discarded by his wealthy cousin, the Little Monster chose to spend a fortune buying him a pair of cufflinks.

As a veteran gemstone collector, he certainly knew how much these seemingly small sapphires were worth, which conveyed to him clearly the depth of the Little Monster’s feeling for him. 

This pair of cufflinks would become his favorite item on the top of his collection list from this day on.

Knowing Ying Qiao apparently liked his gift, Jiang Lan’s smile in his eyes became more sparkling, and two dimples appeared on the corner of his mouth.

Ying Qiao wanted to touch these two dimples. Maybe he can next time.

……

Jiang Lan carefully tried to gauge Ying Qiao’s reaction to his newly renovated home in the following conversation. After confirming he didn’t pay too much mind to it, Jiang Lan felt relieved.

In the end, three people and a “cat” shared the pastry Ying Qiao brought and was ready to go to work.

Before they went out, Jiao Tu transformed back into his gem-imbedded conch and stayed hidden.

Despite the fifth brother’s assurance that today’s visitor was just a normal snake monster, Jiao Tu felt something scary about this snake monster and didn’t even dare to speak in his presence.

Jiang Lan put his two brothers in his backpack and went downstairs with Ying Qiao.

Ying Qiao drove a new car he just bought, an ordinary black Honda.

Sitting in the passenger seat as usual, Jiang Lan continued his talk with Ying Qiao, who mentioned how the Bureau was going to deal with Qin Shuyi.

Infused with the energy from the Sunny Doll, Qin Shuyi’s current state closely resembled that of a zombie but lacked a zombie’s viciousness. So he was still classified as a human and transferred to the Special Human Bureau next door, where the human cultivators would teach him to follow the correct path of cultivation.

As to the Sunny Doll, the Justice Department had brought it to trial. The Sunny Doll volunteered the information that the two missing officers were trapped in the old site of He Village. Since it displayed the correct attitude during the trial, the Justice Department deemed it appropriate to reduce its sentence.

Those two missing officers had initially been sent to maintain surveillance on the apartment complex. One of them was Wang Qing’s childhood friend Wang Changan.

In the early morning, when the truth of this case finally emerged, shattering those officers’ world views, Captain Cheng and his colleagues were so shocked that they even forgot to ask the Sunny Doll the whereabouts of their missing colleagues. After they finally thought about them and contacted Cheng Hua, the Sunny Doll told them via Cheng Hua that it had moved them to the old He village and locked them up together with the heads of He Laoer and his cousins.

Following Jiang Lan’s advice, Captain Cheng had already dispatched a team to track down the missing heads in the old He village. After receiving the news about their missing colleagues, this team liberated them.

Since this Sunny Doll didn’t kill innocent lives, its sentence was reduced from ten years imprisonment to five years. Once it had served its sentence and passed the evaluation, it would regain its freedom. Before that, Qin Shuyi, who was cultivating in the Special Human Bureau, could visit the Sunny Doll anytime.

Jiang Lan thought this arrangement was very suitable for them.” This Sunny Doll was born of Qin Shuyi’s stubborn will, so its temperament tends to be excessive. The time in the prison might soften its edges.”

Hearing this, Ying Qiao smiled.

“This Sunny Doll must have annoyed you?”

The Little Monster always appeared amiable. Ying Qiao had never seen him hold a grudge against anyone.

Jiang Lan snorted and began to brag.” It tried to lay traps for me. But I have already seen through its little tricks. This miscreant is so wily, a proper lesson in prison suits it perfectly.”

While saying these, he raised his chin, acting like a victorious rooster.

A cub this cute needed to be indulged unconditionally, and his every word had to be responded to positively. Ying Qiao said.” You are absolutely right.”

***

Ying Qiao drove him to the office and watched his backside until he was out of sight.

He drove at a normal speed. When they arrived, it was almost office hours. So he didn’t follow him into the office.

When Jiang Lan disappeared into the office, he caressed his cufflinks and smiled. In the company of the Little Monster, he was always in a good mood.

Raising his wrist, he admired his new cufflinks under the sunlight.

As if these were not enough, he took out his phone and snapped a few shots of his new possession.

On the snow-white shirt sleeve, a sapphire the color of ocean blue was sparkling.

Ying Qiao chose the best of those shots and uploaded it to the group chat:[ Isn’t it pretty?]

Then he noticed the group chat had been renamed by Tai Feng as “Who first raised a cub is a dog.”

He was the only one in the group chat who had a cub. Apparently, this name was meant for him.

Ying Qiao thought they were just jealous.

So he renamed the group as “The pleasure of raising a cub is beyond your reach.”

Tai Feng responded in a second:[ I am blind now. I can’t see anything.]

[Lu Wu: Please refrain from displaying your affection publicly; otherwise, please compensate us financially for causing us psychological trauma.]

[Kai Ming: What’s this? New cufflinks? What’s so special about them?]

[Lu Wu: @Kai Ming, why do you pay attention to him? Let him be. We are all blind now.]

[Kai Ming: ????]

Ying Qiao chuckled and continued to type:

[@Kai Ming, this is the gift my cub gave me(Proud Emoji)]

[The soft and cute little monster is the cutest being in the whole world.]

[I sincerely advise you to adopt a cub, you will thank me later.]

[Lu Wu:@Kai Ming What did I just tell you? See what you just got us into.]

[Cheng Hua:@Ying Qiao, when will you return to the company? I am struggling to handle the volume of work alone!! (Cry Emoji)]

[Tai Feng: @Cheng Hua I have already asked you to jump ship to work for me. @Ying Qiao doesn’t treat you like a human being.]

[Ying Qiao: but he is not a human being!]

[Cheng Hua:@Tai Feng The salary you offered is too low. I wouldn’t even think about it. (goodbye emoji)]

Tai Feng sent a string of question marks and ended with a giant emoji depicting rolled eyes.

Cheng Hua ignored him and again mentioned Ying Qiao repeatedly. Glancing again at Jiang Lan’s office, Ying Qiao finally took pity and answered.” I will be right back.” Starting his car, he headed back to the company.

****

Jiang Lan received a warm welcome when he returned to the office.

Especially the cool guy Zhan Tianxing, who was eyeing his backpack the moment he walked in.

After greeting all the colleagues, he let Suan Ni and Jiao Tu out.

Suan Ni jumped onto the desk, wagging his tail, and meowed.

Now he could mimic a cat so expertly that Jiang Lan suspected his old brother would have trouble recognizing his little brother.

This little cat’s attention was immediately drawn away by the cool guy’s snacks.

Glancing at his little brother’s bulging belly, Jiang Lan thought that at the rate Zhang Tianxing was feeding him, Suan Ni would soon turn into a giant furball.

While considering the suitable weight-reducing program for Suan Ni, Jiang Lan put Jiao Tu inside the aquarium.

Jiao Tu extended out his horn, hid among a cluster of colorful corals, and settled down in a comfortable position.

After taking care of his brothers, Jiang Lan began his day’s work.

He started by dealing with the work accumulated from the morning. After that, Xiao Xiaoyu called him through the intercom, asking him to come over.

A little surprised, Jiang Lan walked out to see an auntie in her fifties speaking angrily before the reception counter.” Little Comrade, you must help me solve this problem. I have never been bullied like this. Our dance group has always been dancing on this spot. They suddenly came and occupied half the area. Yesterday, their lead dancer even dared to provoke us with an outrageous proposal! She said the dance group with the best skill should have the best spot. I turned her down outright. But then she performed magic tricks to scare me. Perhaps she thought if she could conjure up nine heads, she could do whatever she wanted!”

The Auntie continued her accusation.” I can swap faces[1], but I have never used this trick to frighten people! They are unbelievable.”

Xiao Xiaoyu was trying to appease her.” Rest easy, Auntie. We will send someone over to mediate. The group dancing is for fun. There is no need to get angry over this. Anger is not good for your health. We will try to solve this to your satisfaction.”

Then she waved Jiang Lan over.” Jiang Lan came here. After getting off work, please come with Auntie Xu to Yu Wan Plaza, to help resolve a dispute over the use of a dance spot.”

Jiang Lan:????

Xiao Xiaoyu pushed Jiang Lan forward to face Auntie Xu:” Look Auntie Xu, this is my colleague named Jiang Lan. He will help you deal with this problem, ok?”

Then she whispered to Jiang Lan.” It is time to use your charm!”

Jiang Lan:????

Xiao Xiaoyu said before that Jiang Lan had a face that appealed to middle-aged women. As expected, Auntie Xu reacted enthusiastically to Jiang Lan’s appearance.” Every young person in this office is so good-looking. Are you Xiao Jiang? Do you have a girlfriend?”

Looking at Auntie Xu’s eager smile, Jiang Lan’s survival instincts kicked in. He nodded.

Auntie Xu was disappointed.” Oh, you have a girlfriend.”

Jiang Lan smiled embarrassingly while giving Xiao Xiaoyu a pleading look, asking for her help.

Xiao Xiaoyu gave him a look, which meant she couldn’t help him cheer up. Then she averted her eyes remorselessly.

Jiang Lan……

Suddenly it occurred to him he had been trapped by his colleague.