You Have Everything I Dislike

Speaking of Laifu, I really think she’s turning more and more into a genius these days. 

When eating fish, she would pick out the fish bones more meticulously than a cat would. Once finished, she would take a tissue out of the box under the tea table and wipe herself off. 

The most incredible thing was that it would steal my father’s blood pressure medication. It would pull out the entire plate of medicine to crack open a pill to eat before neatly putting it back in place.

Following this sequence of events, it would take two Korean mushrooms from the fruit plate and peel the skin off, eating them. It would later lie down on the carpet and sleep on all fours as if nothing had happened.

It even had a good friend from the neighborhood, a stray teddy dog. 

I once saw that same teddy dive straight into a black plastic bag at the community gate. Truly deserving of its teddy title…

Laifu never disliked the teddy for its messy life, however. These two people, no, two dogs, just loved each other and would meet up two or three times a week. 

Whenever they met up, Laifu would survey the place and wait until no one was around before going to the small garden. It would dig up the bones it hid and give them to Teddy. 

Then, these two people, no, two dogs, would take the bones in their mouths and find some corner to gnaw on them together.

Probably because it was her only friend, Laifu learned a couple of strange habits from Teddy. 

I went outside for a walk one time and was surprised to find Laifu peeing on a telephone pole with her leg up. Sometimes, it would even stand on three legs, crossing one leg to pee on the grass.

But… It was a female dog… So why the leg-up?!

Laifu quite liked me when she was still at my sister’s house, but the moment she moved into our house, she began to hate me for no apparent reason. 

It was during dinner when I saw it throw a vicious and rather aggrieved look at me. 

When I asked my father about it, he said, “We don’t like eating meat. When you’re not home, we’d pick the meat out for Laifu and only eat the vegetables.”

So everything finally clicked together. It should be because I kept robbing her of her food that she started to dislike me…

As a direct member of this family, I can’t even seem to eat meat…

One day, it started doing even stranger things. Like when I was at the house playing with the computer. It came up to me and looked me right in the eye before squatting down. After that, she just kind of went away.

I asked my good friend, Shiyue, what the dog’s actions meant. 

“Ha-ha. It’s not something good, that’s for sure,” Shiyue admitted.

My sister ordered a box of small snacks filled with chicken, beef, and fish slices for it from the internet. 

Laifu would suddenly become very affectionate with me whenever I performed the snack awarding ceremony.

My dad eventually grew jealous of me, and, in order to win back Laifu’s love, would start slandering me…

Laifu was rolling around the floor one day, begging for snacks.

“Good girl, go to sleep first, and I’ll give you whatever you want to eat when you wake up. You’ll gain weight if you eat too much and won’t be as pretty anymore,” my dad told the dog, who was acting a lot like a baby.

“Look at XX (my name). She eats a lot. Do you really want to become as fat as her?”

I sat on the adjacent sofa and heard everything loud and clear. 

From that moment forward, I began questioning my existence.

I had planned to open a shop on Taobao for quite some time. I just wanted to open a shop, but I had no idea what to sell.

“You should sell stupid bars1T/N: It means funny cat videos and the like,” a friend once suggested.

I thought it would be fun, so I opened a store and set a random price of ten cents.

Even though it only cost a dime, many people who came to buy it still took a moment to think about it.

I could not really send a message to someone saying, “Hi! You’re being stupid.” So I decided to utilize my talents and planned to draw a small picture to send to the buyers instead.

After lunch, I ran to my study and started creating my masterpiece, splashing ink everywhere. A while later, my dad came into the room to take a look.

“What are you doing? Don’t waste my imported paints — they’re very expensive,” he chastised.

“I’m selling my work for ten cents a pair!” I replied.

“Well, can you please stop? You’ve squeezed out enough paint to sell a hundred pairs.”

He took a closer look at my painting. “Forget it, you’ll be able to make up for it in materials. It’s bad enough for people to spend ten cents to buy such a thing…” he sighed.

Dad, you must be worried that I will surpass you with my painting abilities! I will not be swayed by you!

I’m just a pretty girl who can draw beautiful pictures with the stroke of my brush.

My dad was mocking me because I was doing better than him, while the third master’s father only played tricks on his son.

Likely because the third master’s mother refused to complain about her son with him, his father had considered me an ally from the get-go.

Besides always remarking about how the third master was the laziest person he had ever seen, he also taught me “The Ways to Becoming a Proper Wife.”

His father was a textbook wife-slave, so his primary method was to constantly tell me how wonderful and wise my future mother-in-law was.

He once cited an example. 

“Your aunt would always ask me to change my shoes and wash my feet every time I got home. One particularly exhausting day, I didn’t have the energy to change my shoes after work. Your aunt didn’t yell at me; instead, she brought a pair of slippers, came over, and squatted down on the floor to put them on, even washing my feet with water. After that incident, it stuck to me that no matter how tired I was, I had to change my shoes and wash my feet.”

After listening attentively, I went straight to the bathroom with the two stinky socks the third master had left on the balcony.

I hung them on the clothes hanger after I finished washing them. I sighed faintly at the thought of the third master, hoping that he, like his father, could also learn to repent.

At that time, we were renting a house when the third master’s parents came to visit us. 

When night came, we slept on the sofa in our living room. Aggrieved, the third master sat on the couch. 

“Woman, you’re one good actress!” he accused me.

At that point, I had actually made him wash both pairs of our dirty socks. _(:зゝ∠)_